I took a big break and I've spent a month or so dating and its positive:
1) Went out on a date with a mexican woman. Went on only two dates but decided to call it off because she doesnt have a car and sometimes traffic would mean an hour drive to her apt. She wants to be friends and is actively chasing me via text. That's never happened before.
2) More matches and women actually trying to continue the conversation. Before it was like pulling teeth.
IDK though, this is all surface level though.
My friend also said that my competition isn't very stiff because I'm 40. I'm far from chad but I'm a normal, sociable guy with hobbies. I wasn't sure if he was blowing smoke up my ass just to be nice though. Is this true?
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Affectionate-Reason2 originally posted:
I took a big break and I've spent a month or so dating and its positive:
1) Went out on a date with a mexican woman. Went on only two dates but decided to call it off because she doesnt have a car and sometimes traffic would mean an hour drive to her apt. She wants to be friends and is actively chasing me via text. That's never happened before.
2) More matches and women actually trying to continue the conversation. Before it was like pulling teeth.
IDK though, this is all surface level though.
My friend also said that my competition isn't very stiff because I'm 40. I'm far from chad but I'm a normal, sociable guy with hobbies. I wasn't sure if he was blowing smoke up my ass just to be nice though. Is this true?
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++man, 46M here in a major metropolitan area. Dating is a total breeze at this age. I was totally surprised by this, but it’s really true, and durable. If you have a good career, take care of your body, and are a good conversationalist, the world is your oyster.
When I was in my 20’s, I’d be lucky if 1% of the women I contacted wrote me back. Today, in my 40’s, 60-70% of women I contact write me back.
I have literally hundreds and hundreds of matches on Hinge and Tinder and Feeld, to the point where I get really picky about which matches I even engage with. Every lady I’ve met in person wants a second date. Many of them keep pursuing me, even after I’ve really clearly let them go for good.
It’s fun out there now — just don’t let it go to your head too much.
What's your age range?
How do you meet people? I feel more confident in myself than ever, but I meet so few single women that it's a million times harder than in my thirties. Like my friends are married and I don't have house parties to go to, no more bar nights, most friends-of-friends are partnered, etc.
The major metropolitan area was a key part
What do you say to them?
I just turned 42, recently divorced, and have been dating via the apps for 9 months or so. It has been incredibly fun, honestly. Way more opportunities for dates than I have time or energy for and essentially sex on demand if I feel like it. Every once in a while, there is the 20 something that wants to see what's up, but there is an incredible amount of attractive women in their 30s and 40s that are willing to go out of their way to make themselves available. It's pretty amazing in my experience and a night and day difference from dating in my 20s.
You'll have far more sex. You'll have fewer real connections.
Yeah that’s been my experience. More sex, more fun, less real deep connections
You could not possibly make this seem more appealing to me LOL
I found your post intriguing, could you describe more what you're talking about?
If you land a date, the odds of you getting laid are higher. There's less shame, less judgment, and more self-confidence at older ages.
Real connections? You're deep into a dating pool of "who's still here?"
This was my experience as well. Much higher success rate on getting to intimacy, but the number of women who were capable of actually making time for a relationship was vanishing small. Lots of women who had worked hard to fill their lives so that they were pretty much unavailable. Some women who were looking for a baby daddy to lockdown quickly even into their 40s because they had banked eggs. So many women with unresolved trauma.
If my current relationship fails to go the distance I don’t know what I will do. Muddle on, probably. But it’s a bit of a mess out there.
What do you mean by this?
I don't feel like I was unclear. Be more specific?
I don’t know if this is as true anymore if the implication is that most at this point are hitched up and married in lifelong relationships. With the lack of commitment and ever increasing divorce rates I don’t think your scrounging around for scraps at 40 as you may have been 50 years ago.
The really good catches probably are locked down or people try to lock them down but even then there’s a lot of humans and things like death or drifting apart just happens. So the dating pool is ever refreshing to some degree. But that also plays to your other point, at that stage a lot of folks you are talking to probably aren’t that serious either so, lots of non commitment sex and short relationships are likely.
Sure but those People who were great catches in their 20s and 30s now have more baggage.
As a guy you do have the advantage of dating younger
I guess I wanna know some of your experiences with that. Like how failing to make genuine connections occurs like does it just not click. Is it a lack of interest, mutual hobbies?
I think people are just more set in their ways and less open to change
People have older parents that need assistance
If each partner loves their home- who will sell theirs and move?
Kids are more likely to be a factor and should be prioritized over a new relationship l
Buddy you are the one answering questions, you shouldn’t be asking them. ++man
It's self-explanatory.
Means whoever is left is less desirable. Slim pickings
You'll find things amplified.
When I dated older women I noticed:
1) used to being on their own and own that space. Whether due to a career, formerly married, not in a hurry to marry again, so it's all careful and patient.
2) they never learned how to function in a relationship and have only become more reactive in a bad way.
Both groups are noticeably more paranoid but life does that over time as we accumulate life experiences.
Oh and they have a growing preference for younger men lol
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It's complicated. Sometimes that 'reactiveness" is little things accumulated or one big thing.
I would see profiles like a list of demands. And little things that really at that stage of life I personally don't think should be that important to the criticality of finding a partner.
Just random stuff off the top of my head: sleeping schedules, significant (!) income (not merely comfortable), is 40+ and somehow hasn't had a single relationship continuously longer than 2/3 years, has these intense "boundaries" that sound more like a strange form of prison than requirements, impatient but demands patience, kinda harsh and hurtful for no explicit reason and "doesn't give a f***".
While in and of itself these things may seem small to a person can rationalize the goal is to find a partner. That means compromise. It always means compromise. There willlllll always beeeee compromise with a life partner. They aren't a clone. Lol. They are 40+, if these tiny things are repellant to them, fine keep looking forever it's their life but it ain't gonna get them far for long.
Oh wants someone who "can communicate and emotionally available" but in fact they cannot do this.
Now you can say well this is any age. Yes it is. In my mind by 40+ they should have figured out how to be more peaceful not less to get what they want.
But hey there are people who voted for and still believe in a dude who spent his time writing plaques with "sleepy Joe Biden".
People are people. If I think of more I will lol.
Oh right, the ones who have had trauma and while understanding are working through it do not give the other person a chance to work with them and be supportive before they take off in fear forever.
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Yeppp. They go down a rabbit hole.
There were older women I liked. And before they even talked to me they just bounced. If they had spent a moment to be vulnerable it might have gone well.
Instead I respected their wishes and stepped away.
Dating advice is so goofy. Some guy will always tell you how easy it is and then list off a bunch of features that make them highly desirable to women.
And then tell you you need to work on yourself
How can I be 6 foot?
I don’t know man. That’s up to you to figure out
Yea it's very much always conditions apply sadly, trust me I'm 40 and this thread is quite depressing, but even for us normies I had more dates lately then I ever had in my 20s (ha just shame nothing came of them and my numbers a very low still but hey better than nothing).
The money part is much easier in your 40's than in your 20's... and it's much easier to be fit and gym-going if you're both financially comfortable and single and carefree.
Women become tremendous versions of themselves around 40. Amazing creatures. The conversations are better, they are super hot, they are far more confident, and good lord the sex is mind blowing.
I've found this also. Older woman stop caring and break away from societal norms and what "men want". Nothing hotter than a strong independent woman who knows what she wants.
The confidence part is absolutely true. For me and my friends, we really came into our own around our mid-30s. We knew who we were and what we wanted from life and a partner. Can't speak for every woman but my friends and I felt more comfortable in our own skins. That led to me initiating sex with my partner and becoming less inhibited (I joke that he is spoiled because I often initiate more than he does and rarely turn him down). This is the way with many of my friends. And I think it's a combination of increased liblio and confidence.
Thank you for sharing this sentiment ☺️
Your value in the market in your 40's Plus, generally, is much higher than you're used to. I'm 51, and dating itself is easy... hell, i hardly have to make any effort. I can just go out and get laid, which works for me because I'm not interested in a relationship. BTW... you can tell them exactly that and they will still get mad when the reality of it happens.
I'm also over 6 ft, 6 figures, and reasonably attractive, so it's a cheat code that I didn't have when I was younger.
I won't mess with the 20 somethings. Way too vapid.
That's hilarious that it doesn't change with age. Idk even feel bad anymore when I say I'm not looking for a relationship.
I know when the book long text is going to come in with remarkable accuracy now. And, no, some things don't change. Tell them no and watch the fireworks happen.
If I can find a woman that can handle being told no, I will be 100% in on making that into a relationship that I dedicate myself to. Otherwise... my peace is my priority.
And more power to you bro
Depends who you’re dating. If you’re going for the hot young 20 something it’s the same game. You still need to be reasonably attractive and have some money; if you’re going for the girls closer to your age they’re more direct in my experience and put up with a lot more because they know what they want at this point or are desperate for a guy
++Woman here. When I was in my 30’s, there felt like a lot less pressure for dating to become something. Now being 40+ and back the dating world, I think women are financial independent, have a strong social circle and hobbies and are quite content with ourselves. We are able to look for fun and connection vs feeling like we have to lock someone down to start a family or push us into a relationship we aren’t really sure we want to be in but society says we should be. Now the pressure is off and things feel more easy going.
Women in their 30s are running out of time and are looking to lock someone down and get a buzzer beater baby out.
Ahhhahaha Buzzer Beater Baby I'm saving that.....
Do men want younger woman in their 20s more then?
Overwhelmingly yes, but that doesn't mean they can get them. Women in their 20s willing to date guys in their 30s have a ton of options. If he's in his 40s he better be very rich
The girls do?
Yep. 22 year olds are high demand. Men from 18-30 will be looking for them and many up to 40 and even beyond.
Ain’t that great
For you. Yeah. For the guys that want you, not so much. Means you've got lots of options to choose from. Pick carefully. My standard advice when young women ask about age gaps is to make sure that the man SHOWS you that he has the same goals as you. A lot of older men are looking for a plaything, not a partner. If he doesn't show you through his actions that he's moving towards the same goal that you are then be ready to move on.
Why the fuck wouldn't we want younger, more attractive women, with less baggage?
After being thrown in the trash by women our same age?
Buddy, you're a living contraceptive
Im gonna be real with you, the phrasing here says it all. Talk to someone, man, because your specific wording indicates a man in a lot of pain.
Equality hits so hard they recommend therapy rather than see the world for what it is.
You sound like an incel. And your solution is to go after younger women that "have less baggage" aka are more immature and easily shaped by how you want them to be. Just gross man, grow up and go to therapy. ++man
Wooow okay I was just asking. Coming from a 22 year old woman lol
Yeah that dudes clearly a bit hurt. Not all men want younger. I was dating last year at 42 and wouldn't date anyone below 35. Sure I can find a 22 year old physically attractive but not relationship material. We would be at different stages in life and I'd have nothing in common.
Yeah totally get that! Each man to their own. I personally like men in their early 30s not older than that just because men at that age tend to be more established in life are wanting to start to have a family which I would love soon etc. everyone has preferences :)
People in their 40s are even more established tho
I agree! But I’m only 22 so can’t really go higher than early 30s
Yeah everyone is different, when I was 30 I dated women in their early to mid 20's as that's not a big gap in terms of where you are in life, now I'm in my 40's I wouldn't as I'm at a very different stage.
Exactly 30s is great! For my age gap
I always find the "nothing in common" argument kinda strange since I have little in common with MOST women I've known in my life. I didn't watch the same TV shows or listen to the same music of the women I was around in high school OR college. I would have only slightly more 'in common" with someone my age than someone 20 years younger.
Life stages is a fair problem though. The OTHER advantage to older women that no one really brings up when I ask is that they are much more likely to be willing to marry and have children quickly. But that's not because of their preference, just because they are running out of time.
Yeah everyone is different, personally I need to have some things in common with a partner whether that's hobbies, beliefs, maturity, similar sense of humour or similar tastes in things.
I guess it depends on ages, I found most women I dated in their 40's weren't interested in getting married and didn't want children. Which suited me as I didn't want either. Another reason why I wouldn't date someone younger as they would likely want both.
None of the things you listed off depend on age except MAYBE maturity and I think that's a lot more flexible than people say.
Women in their 40s are mostly going to be at or past the end of practical reproduction, and so they will have made their choice by then.
All of those things can depend on age.
Idk who hurt this guy but that is not universal lol. In general it's really nice that people are more financially stable in their 30s, and have learned from their experiences about what they want in a partner.
Absolutely. Especially if you can be mature and responsible for your age, you’re a catch for any man and older men would take notice.
And less x husbands, less kids, less stds.
I mean this kindly but why would younger attractive women want older men with loads of ‘baggage’?
Some men prefer women closer in age. Most men will pick a younger woman if possible, with certain limits. Some men will say nothing below 25, but will prefer a 25 over someone else.
Women gain little that men want as they age. I've asked several times what older women are supposed to offer that younger ones don't and the only really "solid" answer is "maturity" which I find marginal all the same since a woman can gain that in a relationship. Most other answers are not even that good.
I can only offer my own opinion, as im 38 and married. Say my wife explodes or something, and now im back on the dating scene, what can a 25 year old offer me? I can find all of the personality traits that I want in a woman thats 35 instead and she comes with her own career and money instead of having to raise my wife as well. If its purely sexual then sure ok, but besides that, what does a woman 15 years my junior offer me that I can't find in one that's closer to my age?
You can find those things. But a 25 year old will also have a career starting, is an adult with her own money, and has much less baggage, as well as being 15 years further from the point where she needs to work hard to be attractive.
What do you mean by “baggage” here? You mean emotional and relationship experience? Or prior marriage/kids? Or is it a “body count” thing? What’s really the issue?
"Trauma" from failed relationships. Prior marriages (people who get divorced once are more likely to do it again). Kids. Body count. Expectations being set by previous relationships. Biological clock running down.
I've probably missed some.
Older men have all that ‘baggage’ too, why would an attractive younger woman want all those things in a man? Especially with current research finding a lot of foetal development and gestational issues are coming from deteriorating sperm quality. I get in the olden days when women didn’t have access to the same career opportunities as men, an older man was more likely to be rich and successful, but that was the only thing they had to offer over men a woman’s own age. Now women can be rich and successful in their own right, why would they choose someone who has all the ‘baggage’ you consider to be deal breakers in women your own age?
I never said they should. If a younger woman doesn't want to date older I won't judge them.
Men however (usually) gain status, resources, and confidence as they age, which are all things women like. Even career women prefer to date "up" economically.
From my experience (anecdotal I know) every career woman I know has had zero interest in status and has gone purely for emotional intelligence. A lot have actually ‘dated down’ status and career wise because the guy was a great guy. I don’t know dude, I think times are changing, if women want status and resources they are just getting it themselves. What will these guys have to offer anyone then?
She might be an adult at 25 but they would bring vastly different life experiences to the table. A 35yr old is in a different life stage than a 25yr old and a 45yr old. For example, while hitting bars might be a great weekend activity for a 25yr, a 35yr or 45yr old might think differently and/or recover less easily from a night out partying.
Quite possibly. And if, in the course of conversation, I found out that she planned to party for the next ten years then that would be a compatibility issue.
If she wasn't planning on doing that, then there's no problem.
Partying was just an example. The point is that people in their 20s are in a different life stage. They are just starting their adult life vs the 35yr old has already lived through that stage. The compatibility issue is the same as a 60 yr old dating a 50 yr old (but more pronounced).
That's not a guarantee. There's plenty of women in their early 20s looking to be wives and mothers. My point stands. If you vibe, you vibe. If your goals are aligned there's no problem. if they aren't you move on.
Women gain life experience, which is a real benefit
Yes, especially if you are looking for a thought partner.
Some v immature 30 year old woman out there
Correct. But that's a dangerous thing to say.
It’s not that deep lol
Yep. Having life experience is a turn-off for men.
For shitty men, you're correct.
You'll get downvoted, but you're right
Having piles of baggage the new man has to pay for while not benefiting from is a turn off.
Touché.
Not what he meant but okay
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Please be nice. Adults should be able to have a discussion without being rude or insulting. Such behavior risks comment removals and/or a ban.
Good. I'm a lesbian anyway, lmao.
This is such a dumb take. What do men gain that women want as they age, besides maturity? With both sexes, I'd assume humor, love, creativity, knowing what they want, experience in life and sex, more powerful connections, money, skills. The same for both. Some people get more attractive as they age.
Basically the only thing younger people have is they're the most fuckable in a "who's the hottest chick" argument - and more able to have babies.
So you're saying that women exist for men to fuck and give them children. Which, while believed by a lot of men, is fucked up and times are changing people. Don't be on the fucked up side.
Men, or at least ones that work on it unlike some of us, gain resources and status, which are two things that women crave in mates. They can also gain confidence which is hugely attractive to women as well.
And no that's not what I said at all.
Depends on for what.
20s = Bit immature but less baggage more than makes up for it. Not in a rush for anything and chill to let things develop naturally. Looks will last longer. Hard to hook up with (tons of options, picky, not in a rush). Good for long-term.
30s = Still attractive right now, but what about 5 yrs from now? More baggage. More likely to just see you as just a means to a ring or baby. Easy to hook up with (less options, more desperate). Good for short-term.
I’m 22 and would love a family sometime soon but that’s just me!
You have time to not rush and end up marring the wrong person. Properly get to know them. I wouldn't skip that step.
Not skipping a thing :)
If only I was 5 years younger.
I disagree with all this "less baggage" talk.
A lot of children go through school and develop mental health struggles and go through their 20s figuring them out. Figuring their brand new live out. Which shouldn't be done by some 30+ yo man trying to influence her.
Once in 30s and up, woman have matured and are no longer overwhelmed with "high school demons," have gone to therapy, and can take what life throws at them way better than in their 20s.
Unless by baggage you only mean "past relationship baggage" like a divorce, and in that case, use it as a lerning point, not something to be afraid of.
I don't think that's nearly as big of a problem as you're making it out to be.
Meanwhile people that have been divorced previously are more likely to get divorced again. They've been through it and survived, so they don't fear it.
Buzzer Beater Baby band name, called it!!!
At that age women have their lives together, their own homes, cell phone screen isn't cracked, etc. It's nice. Watch out for the nurses though......
Why watch out for them? (Legitimately curious…)
There are plenty of tropes about how the nature of their work can affect a relationship negatively, but I have found them to be incredibly down to earth, direct, and fun women with great senses of humor. In my experience, they are generally unashamed and unapologetically sexual which I find refreshing. They are abundant and will absolutely chew you up and spit you out. Great fun all around if you are into that sort of thing.
Wow. You've pretty much described my experience over the past 3 months.
I'm 33 and met a woman who is 40 and a nurse. She's been super fun to go out with. The sex has been incredible. I can't even put it into words.
She's made me change the way I view older women.
Right on, man! Happy for you.
Hey ur stickman has a green dot.
I’ll just say this about nurses, they have a reputation for being party woman that use alcohol or other substances to decompress and let lose after a shift. They also work in an all female environment and may have influence from that to have girls nights etc. so cheating is very common. Also they are around male doctors and that often can lead to relationships or cheatinf
Soo many nurses lol
:D
++man I've found what others said to be largely true. I get far more matches now that I'm 41 then I ever did in my 20s or 30s. It's kind of fun, but I also feel a lot of pressure in that many of the women in their late 30s to early 40s are desperately trying to find someone with which to have kids. I find myself worried that I'm wasting their time and it's extra sad to end a relationship and dash someone's hopes. I've specifically started avoiding 39 year olds for this reason. I've also found that the quality of singles left in their 40s isn't great (myself included).
A ton of women 38+ wanting kids.
This is surprisingly very true. Many of the women I see over 40 have "want kids" on their dating profile. If you think women in their 30s are trying to beat the clock I could only imagine how much they would be pressing in their 40s. Firm no for me.
The chances of expensive pregnancy after 40 is insane they want u to fund their expensive en vitro treatments etc
It's not actually. Most limited fertility studies were done in europe on farm women and were sparse. We've found that women's fertility can last longer than thought, and the risks of older mothers are way less than we thought too. Men's sperm age actually plays a huge parts in defects.
Women when they're in their 20s: men are so fucking grotesque, seeing women just as sex objects, desperation is disgusting.
Women when they're in their 30s: HOLY SHIT MY BIOLOGICAL CLICK IS TICKING I GOTTA FIND SOMEONE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH, USE AS A WALLET AND A SPERM BANK, THIS IS DIFFERENT MY DESPERATION IS NOT DISGUSTING!!
And its even funnier when they are looking and all the guys they want are married.
Gotta invest early in a good guy rather than hope for a sugar daddy later on!
I was reading an advice book from Victorian times about courtship and how a woman should go about it.
The main piece of advice was "if you want to marry an admiral, you court an ensign."
Imma need spousal support. 🤷🏿♂️
Why does ur Reddit stickman have a green dot ima watch u
🥴 You the FEDS?
🚨 🚨 🚨 Your stickman has alerted the Reddit police 👮 👮♀️ 👮♂️ 🚨 🚨 🚨
The delusion.... 38+? lol.
In my 40s dating was like shooting fish in a barrel. Women were desperate to lock me down, but after my ex-wife went crazy I decided to just have fun. Single moms are crazy horny and desperate for a step daddy for their kids.
It was the best ongoing sexual experience I ever had. Three dates a week getting laid without even trying. I honestly hoped a woman would make me wait, but when a woman says let’s have sex who am I to say no.
Your friend is right. The situation has flipped in your age group.
42m here widowed two years ago and been like 12+ years since I was last really on the market. Went out with an old friend my age and another woman a year younger. I don’t want to be a jerk but I got a sense of their time being “up” if that makes sense. I working to really get back out there and taking it slow. It strange because it feels better than it did in my 20s and like I get a bit more attention from women than I did back then. Not crazy.
Could you expand on "their time being up"? What does that mean?
It means the options a 25 year old woman has is almost immeasurable. But that changes around 40 and the options a man has is almost immeasurable Because the dynamic changes from desperate men to desperate women.
Obviously this is a generalization. But her time is up to pick any man she wants.
Oh ok. I guess that explains the female loneliness epidemic.
I wouldn't know. But it seems to me that the male loneliness epidemic is younger men and is almost nonexistent with men over 40. And the stereotype of the lonely cat lady came way before any mention of male loneliness.
I've never heard of a woman complaining about having cats.
Are you being obtuse? I said that because the lonely old cat woman stereotype predates the male loneliness epidemic. That is all I meant by it.
That doesn't negate my statement.
Also, it's "crazy cat lady", not lonely cat lady. Fyi.
Being a cat lady sounds really good to many women though 😅 single women are the happiest demographic… after married men. Hmm
There is nothing wrong with it. Exclude yourself from the scene and we are all better off for it.
Men 40s and above are the leading demographic in offing themselves. Look it up.
Well put brother.
To be blunt women in their 40s don’t have the same opinion they had in their 20s. Not as fertile and if they don’t have kids and want them time is really running out. It’s a bit creepy and I could imagine it’s what women feel when a guy is desperate for attention. Pick me energy. Again not to be rude or anything but it felt a bit sad.
Oh so purely to do with reproduction? Rather than having personality, sense of humour, interesting hobbies etc
That is one aspect. A harsh truth is I don't have kids and I lost my wife before we could. I still want the option but do not want to rush anything either. A woman my age having a baby is much harder and a higher risk. Honestly, personality, sense of humor, interesting hobbies etc, what you listed is less important to men than it is to women when seeking a partner. Important sure but not at the top of a typical man's list.
Here is another HARSH trush, women are, men become. Women are born with their value where men have to build it. Wars have been fought over young beautiful women. In high school guys compete for the best looking girls. Good looking young women have the world by it's balls. Meanwhile men have to build their worth, that personality, sense of humor, hobbies (and wealth) that attracts women.
So it is just to do with reproduction. Got it.
Would you ever date a homeless guy?
I'm a lesbian, so I wouldn't date any guys.
What does that have to do with any part of female reproduction?
It does not. It has to do with the fact that men and women seek different things. Majority of women would never date a guy that has nothing to offer (bluntly a loser). I do not want to close the door on building a family and fathering children so female reproduction is something that matters to me right now.
everything about dating and sex and love are about reproduction. Even for lesbians. It's not that people consciously think "who's fertile" its just that we evolved to find healthy and fertile people attractive. That's why beauty standards for gay guys/lesbians are very similar to hetero people (setting aside things like fashion)
Did you just try to mansplain lesbianism to me? Are you seriously arrogant enough to believe that you, a man, knows more about lesbianism than me, a literal lesbian?
Because you are very wrong about everything you just tried to claim.
63 and happily married now. When I was single in my twenties it was a shitshow - I really struggled. Single in my 40s I had no trouble meeting quality women and eventually married one.
I’m average at best. Dating gets much better for men as they get older. Maybe men & women are less flaky as they get older.
Recently single at 45 and I’m avoiding the hell out of dating at this point, I’ve had so many women send me the usual signals though and I just haven’t went there yet.
About as easy as it was when I was 37, and way, way easier than my 20’s.
Dating is great in your 40s. Women know what they want. Most of them have been divorced and recognize a respectful man right away. Also, from my end, I've got my life figured out, and I've done well enough this far, so women can tell that I'm not a complete screw-up.
Its terrible in my area. All the single women have let themselves go.
Now everyone comes with tons of baggage. ++Man
It will be harder to date girls in their 20s as you have a big competition pool. Some girls might be interested in mature man while others find it creepy so you more illicit extreme reactions.
Women in their 30s will appreciate you.
Women in their 30s are the same women who wanted nothing to do with you when you were the same age and focused on height and $ to fund their lifestyle, and will shame the fuck out of you when you attempt to date women in their 20s.
Treat them the same way they treated you in your 20s.
So much this. When the tables have turned, show no mercy.
What man in his 40s wants to date a woman in their 20s?
Women in their 50s will appreciate him too. Haha.
It’s fun if you can pull it off. It’s like traveling back in time.
Dont you feel just really old?
I have men in their 20s interested and its ew, you could be my son, you're a baby.
I did find it a little odd, to be honest. I’m mostly attracted to women closer to my own age (45), but I still get likes on dating apps from women in their late 20s / early 30s, so I felt like it would be silly not to pursue that while they’re still interested. I was dating a 29-year-old woman over the summer. It was fun for a bit, but the maturity gap presented itself pretty quickly. I didn’t feel old during sex and I felt like I was talking to an adult during conversations, but when things got a little more involved, I remembered all the annoying things from my 20s.
I think older men are just drawn more to the physical element and the ego boost that comes from dating much younger women. But when it comes to forming a deeper connection, we eventually come to the same conclusion as you do with younger men.
Thanks for your detailed reply. Im 52 I get likes from men aged about 24 up. I have chatted to some 30s men but just feels too young for me. I know it works for lots of people
^ i think the likes from much younger men is quite common
What do you mean different?
And I don't know if you've noticed, but a socially competent man with hobbies puts you in the top 20% of candidates at basically any age. You may not have noticed though because I don't believe that you actually meet that criteria.
You’re 40 and using terms like “chad.” Dude maybe try therapy
um I don't really see what the big deal is. It's a common slang term. It's even in one of Taylor Swift's recent music videos and she's almost 40. I don't get the negativity.
Quite a stretch on what you’re saying, seems like bait.
I’ll be downvoted but women ages worst than men, and most men simp over young attractive women leaving the older a lot less desire and women are shallow so it really REALLY hit their egos.
The nightmare of a woman is being alone, while a man can be alone without issues.
Yes - that’s why we keep talking about the male loneliness epidemic and single women are the happiest demographic (behind married men).
That’s because society tells them to have someone.
In reality, men after a certain age can be perfectly happy alone. Talk to single men 40+
That’s not what the research shows.
(45M) if you’re only looking to fast track to a serious relationship, and go on job-interview style dates, then dating will be easier in your forties than any other stage in your life.
If you are looking for an FWB, then that goal will still super difficult. IMO, conventionally attractive women in their 40s just dating “for fun” with no expectations or timelines are going to gravitate to the best-looking 20% of men only. Average-looking men need not apply.
And they are also more open to younger men as well, i have noticed
You have the largest dating pool you may ever have right now: late 20's to late 40's women will be very interested in you at age 40.
No, 30 is about the peak for a man's dating pool. Women who are still entering adulthood are interested in him (the largest cohort of single people) as are most women in their 20s and 30s. ++man
The "entering adulthood" girls are not viable relationship candidates at all, especially when dating online, if they are even allowed on the apps. If you are 30 and online dating, you can't consider anyone younger than 25, nor would you want anyone older than 35.
My point still stands, no doubt about it. 40 is ideal for a HUGE, viable dating pool.
I am talking solely about real options and real dating pools, not teens and early 20's.
Most of those young 20-something people aren't even LOOKING for something real at that point.
Women are either so desperate for kids they'll overlook more red flags than red square, or things are much more equal as everyone is more take it or leave it.
++man
I’ve been observing this with my older male friends lately. Overall they seem to be more successful in the early dating, but consistency with one partner is much more difficult. Funny, I was in a sort of situation with a car-less Mexican woman recently.
Ah, Sofia. Things may have been different if you had wheels.
++man. Get off the apps and meet real women in social meetups. I found my current gf through organic means and I m much happier than surface level interactions. She is smoking hot too.
By all means keep to your standards but you might want to be more flexible with this one, especially if she's actively chasing you.
Yes I know travelling sucks but that's just how it is; I was dating someone in the same city and taking a tram would be something like 50 minutes, driving could be 20 minutes or at worst an hour. I've been with numerous women who all either can't drive or don't have a car, I've just resolved to "it is what it is".
They want your money. No 20 something is fucking a half lifer for free lol.
And when they baby trap you, you'll be paying a psychologist (me) $220 and hour to try and fix the relationship until she leaves you for someone younger or someone your age when you can't keep up the lifestyle then you're on the hook for child support.
Men are gonna bitch because they think they're the exception. The grass is greener on the other side because it fertilized with manure.
It's a hard lesson to learn for some since a lot of people need to experience it to learn. Sometimes I feel bad for clients since it's not my job to judge but the patterns are undeniable. The recommended age gap is 7 years. Not this half age + 7 or whatever it is clients have rationalized.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has said "men are visual creatures" I'd never have to work again.
I'm in my late 20s. And I myself get men in their 40s trying to match me. But I'm not looking to get divorced or take a man for his money.
People don't realize is life expectancy is 80. But women out live men by a lot. Why midlife crises hit when people turn 50 I'll never understand. But when that hits people like clock work blow up their lives for whatever fomo reason.
And there's a raise in this behaviour because of the economy. I've had to go to court to testify for divorce hearings more in that last 4 months than I have in last 3 years. It's only going to get worse. There's going to more single women and men than ever before.
It's like the perfect storm rn. The best advice that I'm not allowed to give that I really wish I could give is please for the love of god stay within 7 years. Your chances of success go way up if you do so.
Modern medicine is now allowing women to have children in their 40s. And these women can actually provide for these children because they already have careers. And also please get a fucking prenuptial agreement! Bring this topic up on the first date. I do all the time. I inherited a house and a condo in a very high cost of living place. I also bought my condo and a house in another province. That shit is mine man. Whatever is bought after the marriage is split. But don't fall in love with people who aren't willing to sign a prenup. Divorce is fucking expensive! PROTECT YOUR PENSION. Oh my god men forget about the fucking pension. I have seen sooooo many men and women get completely cleaned out in divorce. Pensions is split in divorces! I don't think a lot of people realize that. Do not lose your retirement for a hot piece of ass. Know you common law legislation in your area. How long of living together before it becomes common law. Here in Ontario depends on finances, but in Saskatchewan is 3 months, in BC it's 2 years. Imagine someone moving in, living with you for 3 months and regardless of whether they financially contributed or not they get half your shit. If you EVER move someone in get a cohabitation agreement drafted by a lawyer and signed by your partner. That $500 will save you soooo much money in the long run. This doesn't help with this wave of younger men becoming sugar babies too. Women protect yourself as well.
And if you wanna be single, be single! There's nothing wrong with that. But for the love of god, know what you're doing. If you're going after younger people, stop and think whether you'd want your daughter or son to date within the conditions you're dating in. Children are divorcing their parents at record rates. The studies aren't keeping up with this trend well. If you're a 40/20 or 50/30, how would you feel if you child did this. Because guess what, if you do it, they'll think it's okay too. Children from large age gap parents tend to either go for larger than their parents are are repulsed by their parents and go 1-2 years from their age. When your daughter is 16 and starts dating a 30 year old how will you feel? And how will you enforce that if you yourself have a 20 year age gap. While ad hominen is a fallacy, people don't give a fuck. You have to do what you preach.
Again, I can't really complain since I wouldn't have a job if it weren't for these people. But if everyone collective decided to make wiser decisions I'll happily change fields. But that's probably not gonna happen in my lifetime.
I'll be out there in a few months (recent divorce) at 55. .....boy that sounds fun.
Other than having kids and having that affect availability and logistics, nothing has changed. And I only say kids because most people over 40 have kids. Obviously this is the same issue if you are 20 and have kids
I am 22 and I suppose can only speak for myself of course. That i always look for an older man max early 30s just because more established in life and are perhaps wanting to start wanting a family soon which I would like. But also men who are older have more life experience can help guide more complex conversations then a guy in his early 20s.
La mayoria con hijos
Depends on the age of the woman. The best looking men chase women in their 20s so that leaves slim pickings for women over 30.
Women in their 20s: Men in their 20s ain't it, I'm gonna aim for men in their 30s because they have the $$$ to fund my desires.
Women in their 30s: men in their 30s who want women in their 20s are pedophiles.
The age gap gets bigger as I keep dating 25 yr olds
Dicaprio? What're you doing here?
Apparently pissing off all the old ladies
"I Get Older... They Stay The Same Age" (Matthew McConaughey) | Dazed and Confused.
May I ask, why would a 25yr old women want all that from an older man? Older men also come with ‘trauma’ from failed relationships, kids, ex’s, body count, expectations from previous relationships, plus we are learning that a lot of gestational issues are coming from men’s deteriorating sperm, plus men are often significantly less attractive as they age.
It used to be that older men were seen as attractive prospects because they likely had a good career and money, because women didn’t have access to the same job market, but now, 25 year old women have good careers and money. Why wouldn’t they be choosing men their own age and dodging all the same things in you that you want to avoid in women your own age?