Pulling up in the car on the Salthill prom with a coffee and pastry is one thing. But just sitting in a petrol station is quite another.

No. That is absolutely not a date. That's a I want to avoid being seen with you in public. Do not entertain this clown. 🤡

Think that guys married but hoping you will fuck him in his car.

I can't see any other reason for it. Go with someone who will bring you out for a meal, a hike, a movie anything other than that

Eh... no that's not a date.

That sounds like the kind of date someone would have who's pretty desperate to not be seen with someone and wants to make sure they can't accidentally run into anyone.

Nah that's not a date unless you're teenagers and you're both broke and there's literally no other space to be together.

A date at the start of a romance is a coffee in a cafe or a meal or at worst a walk.

You can do better

It depends more age, how long you've known each other.

If I was in 19 and I was chilling in the car with someone I liked listening to music and having food, then I'd be well pleased.

You know how they make you feel and how their treating you as well

If the person's over twenty. They are either married or embarrassed by you

Having read your other comments OP, and I mean this in the nicest way possible - it sounds like neither of you really know what you are doing.

I'm going to assume the petrol station carpark is a place at a big petrol station that does tea/coffee/food? Can I ask you why you picked that for a date?

I can understand him being hesitant to make suggestions given that you didn't want to give your Eircode so he doesn't want to scare you off.

But you suggested the petrol station, twice now.

I don't know where you are in the country but there must surely be a hotel bar or pub that you could go to for a coffee for an hour? And on that, why has he only got an hour?

You said in one comment "should I be making suggestions" and my answer is a resounding YES. If you don't want to go to a petrol station then you suggest where you WOULD like to go. He's not a mind reader.

But what you've outlined sounds dismal and if he can only meet in a petrol station for an hour every so often - how is that gonna go anywhere?

maaaaaate... you're going dogging

Low effort and odd. I wouldn't bother if it was me

No. That is absolutely not a date. That's a I want to avoid being seen with you in public. Do not entertain this clown. 🤡

That’s the old joke he said he’d take me somewhere expensive, so we went to the petrol station

Omg the bar is literally in hell!! This is not a date. This is low effort. People start as they mean to go. If this is them putting their best foot forward… ding walk …. Run…. RUN I SAY!!!

Does he pick you up and bring you to the petrol station or do you meet him there? The fact you’ve had two petrol station dates with him and he made you pay for your tea is a bit embarrassing sorry!

He wants to progress this to the back seat, perhaps away from the petrol station.

I'd class it as pretty tacky, to be honest. Is he a schoolboy?

This has missing person / body of missing person found in woods, written all over it.

Please tell me you’re joking or just trolling

That person is definitely hiding something.

This is not a date. It’s a preface to a slasher movie.

I'm going to be blunt, because I'm a year younger than you and need you to listen. Why, at 30 years of age, do you think meeting up in a car is a date? Why do you think this is what you deserve? As.. a date?

He's using you to cheat and/or he just doesn't take you seriously at all. Have more respect for yourself and your time, stop wasting it on losers like that.

If this is a date, the bar is literally below ground level.

By date, do you actually mean drug deal?

DPF delete VW Jetta Junior B plumbing apprentice final boss

That’s the biggest red flag. Don’t go.

Lol no not a chance

Sketchy. Very sketchy.

Do you WANT to be subject of a true crime podcast?? Cos going into a stranger's car is exactly how you become a true crime podcast subject.

Not since I was a teenager - and even then it involved going for a drive and chatting, listening to music or whatever, not just sitting on the forecourt.

Grabbing a coffee at McDonalds (cheapest coffee I know of) and having a chat at a table over coffee seems a bit more sane / normal than this.

Do ya’s be dressed up for a “going out” date - that would just make it all the more weird!

Genuine question OP, and I ask it as someone with it: have you autism?

I'm honestly a bit incredulous reading this thread that a woman of 30 would suggest and go to two dates in a petrol station with a guy who is "only available between 7-8pm" every day - like why those hours and every single day? What's he doing the rest of the time? - has left it entirely in your hands to organise shit and you're both considering further dates with him and oblivious to the red flags? Usually it's the men who are in the Valley of the Clueless so I'm honestly a bit stumped.

Sorry to say, you're being played. I would perhaps ask if he'd like to suggest someone that isn't Circle K or Murco for the next date, perhaps even a pub - you don't have to drink, either of you - or else ask what his actual job is and could he be.more flexible with the hours and you'll be hit with a wall of radio silence.

Bless you, you seem honest and decent and you deserve better than this.

Lol please don’t go

That’s not a date and you deserve better that whatever that guy is doing, he may be married or in a relationship

For anyone unaware, OP revealed in a reply that SHE is the one suggesting these “car dates”… and then complaining about it. She’s playing herself. Very odd.

At least he is taking you somewhere expensive.

Next time suggest the cinema or a walk, just to see what he says. Is he looking for a bit on the side. ??

With the state of housing in Ireland, this is what me and my partner would do in the early days when we were broke but didn’t want to be hanging around with my roommates or her family!

If I was young then maybe, like get a coffee and some snacks to get to know each other in a private but still public space, if you’re in your late 20’s onwards, idk depending on the person but id rather go for a stroll with a coffee to get to know someone

If you're young or it's a once off, it very well could be. I know a few couples whose "first date" was something as casual as this. They were young and figuring out if they wanted to get to know each other, this can also be true for busy adults.

However, it's definitely low effort and not remotely romantic. Kinda up to you if that meets your standards for a date.

That's dogging, bud.

Run a mile. Thats not a date. You're worth more than that!

You are worse for entertaining this! This is not a date - grab a coffee and go for a walk if that’s that case. He already has someone and wants to bang in the car in secret. Run for the hills.

You’re 30. Don’t be dealing with this BS!

Leave an earring in his car next time for his misses to find

Does he work in the petrol station and is this his lunch break.

Poor guys getting all the flak, even though OP suggested the petrol station, twice...

What in the dogging universe did I just read? What is it, Roscommon?

Yes that’s a date. With an attached/married guy.

At 19, yes. At 30, no.

Get your worth girl . That's just lazy I'm sure there's a coffee shop or cozy pub even for non alcohol drinks ..

Yes but not a particularly good one.

I had a similar one when the initial lockdown restrictions lifted in summer 2020 in a camper van.

Had a cup of tea/chat, had a game of thumb war to my shock the person asked “what’s that?” and had never heard of it before. Ended soon after that.

Strangest date off my life.

Is he a boy racer type? They seem to gravitate towards petrol station meet ups

Sounds like something a serial killer would think as a date.

We need more context? Suggest a known dogging spot next time to measure their reaction 🤠

Yes. A dogging date.

I get in the car and we drive to a nice view then stop and he hands me a hot chocolate that is a date. Chilling in a petrol station forecourt and buying my own hot drink is a pisstake.

Why a petrol station??? Not even like somethings bit scenic... All together pretty weird.

No, not at all. I can’t say if you’re being played as you said you suggested meeting there? If you do want to keep seeing him, tell him to arrange a proper date, doesn’t need to be expensive, at least a coffee shop date or a walk or something!

I could understand two friends using a petrol station as a place for a quick chat but a date no.

I'd imagine I'd like something a little more scenic. Maybe a little walk by the beach and a sit down coffee in a cafe?

Sitting in a car in a petrol station just seems grim. lol

E: okay i read further down that the petrol station is your idea. He might not care and just behappy to meet you for a second date. But find a nice cafe in your general area and suggest that. Hopefully he'll pick up his game and offer better suggestions in future.

If it's already your girlfriend and are meeting during her lunchbreak at work, sure. Otherwise, no.

'Take me somewhere expensive tonight'...

Pulls up at petrol station.

That's determined by the quality of the conversation.

I was going to give you the "Girl?!" until I read that it was your idea. 

So it's the guys fault for doing what you suggested, and you're here letting on that you think he's cheating. 

Fuck sake. 

Nothing like a petrol station romance. On a serious note though, I've never heard of anyone choosing there as a spot for a date. A restaurant or bar or some place would seem more suitable. Going to the cinema even isn't too expensive and is a pretty fun way to get to know someone and their vibe.

This dude is already in a relationship if he's only available from 7-8pm. For future dates don't suggest a carpark. You don't give your eircode, and rightly so, but you suggest meeting in carpark?

That's just weird. Meet in a public place. You could have a non alcoholic drink in a bar if you have to drive.

This country has bazillion pubs, surely you can find one to enjoy a date

Avoid

Looking forward to the "so I met this girl and she keeps suggesting meeting at a petrol station" post.

Sounds dangerous tbh

This is how some of my first dates went with my now wife…granted it was at the height of Covid and there weren’t many other options! You don’t need to take them to Paris or Rome when there is a perfectly good Esso garage just around the corner I always say.

Only if you're 17

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Depends what you’re doing in that car…

You gotta ask them what the reason for this is and then come back on here and let us no 😅😆

Even I could do better than that.

This does not pass the Dump the Dude Test. Be free.

sounds like she's setting you up for a hit

Is his car a lowered vw Passat or similar?

It’s a date as in not if you are older than 17.

No

You deserve better than this no matter what the circumstances

I think it dependa my sister is engaged to a country man from Galway and she lived in Mayo with parents just after covid. They would go on drive dates a bit and 3/4 years later engaged!

There was variables, country man liked his driving, gaa man so often on drinking ban so when visitng bot really goibg for drinks. Sister lived with parents and his area is proper one pub for community so it was justifiable.

If its a car park in Dublin id be inclined to say to him you want to go for a drink of some food and somewhere central. Only reasons I could think car is his choice;

1. He is very young and realises his csr can not only be a distonation to a place but also the place where he can shag and shift.

2. He is really tight with money/ really low on money

3. My major concern would be he is in a relationship already, id imagine a car park is a place you can hide in plain sight. Very rare someone wpuld notice you in your car and you can also claim you wdte giving someone a lift if you got caught.

4. Nerves cars you are innhis territory and due to the design of cars eye contact is low. He can also mess around with songs on radio etc if nervous

He may not have a family but just can’t be bothered and hoping to smash

Not a date 😂😂😂😂😂

Don't think you're being played but it is a very basic date. Dating can expensive

Even if he's broke, surely he could come up with something a bit more interesting? Walks on the beach are free. So are some museums. I wouldn't continue to date someone who's putting in this little effort this early on.

I thought everyone was being dramatic because if ye were just from like 18-22 this would be probably be fine. I would just say he's lazy and horny.

But seeing that you're older it's weird. Why not go for a walk with the drink? Something weird

You are the side piece. 

If you have to ask, you know the answer.

He wants the ride only, sorry to say. Not saying he wants to ride you in a car, just he's not into you enough to go on a proper date.

🚩🚩🚩🚩
The cheapskate is hiding you

This is what I do when I don't wanna go out (or im just trying to f**k). It's definitely not a date . Now if you went for a walk or literally anything else that could be classed as a date . It's just hanging out.

Know your worth

If you’re just starting to see each other it’s a handy way to meet without the pub or a restaurant in the evening time. Me and my wife started our romance with after work car chats. No where was open when we’d finish our shift so we’d go the 24 hr McDonald’s and get tea and just spend a few hours chatting

You went digging. Congratulations.

Its something a 17 year old who just got their license would do before bringing you to a viewpoint to "talk"

I'd ask you, do YOU consider sitting in a car in a petrol station forecourt a "date"?

Its a date....but its a really shitty one.

Absolutely not. Why would you even think that

I need to know if the other party in this is posting somewhere asking if it’s normal for someone to suggest going to a petrol station for a date twice.

He is in a relationship with someone else and is hiding. You are worth more than this. Run

Any update OP ?

🙃

There is someone getting played here but its not you

Anything can be a date. Does it sound like a fun time? If so, hell yeah? If not? Maybe not?

What kind of question is this?

Can we come and watch?

Not at all

Just two dudes pumping gas...

I dunno would you count it as a “date” but in the end of the day does it really matter if you enjoy it. When i started going out with my now wife we both lived at home so would regularly sit in the car parked up and chat for hours. But obviously did “proper dates” too.

Dogging? 😂🤦‍♂️

Absolutely no way. Coffee dates sure - coffee shop and walk but never into a lads car unless you know he’s not a complete prick. Dates don’t have to be expensive but a carpark is just grim. Go for a walk together or something..

Sounds like a kidnapping

This lad peaked on secondary school. His still organizing dates like a fifth year!

The thing is, he is completely oblivious that it’s not a decent date and I wonder if even over a chat you could get him to see that. Should you even be the one to show him?

He’s either cheating or the stingiest person in Ireland, both of which are highly undesirable imo

Well did you suggest or offer something different? Has he insisted on meeting at the petrol station? When I first started seeing my partner we met at the local shop or park carpark for a chat and coffee/tea. Neither of us had anything to hide.

If you really like him and see it going somewhere then say it to him and suggest somewhere else? Maybe he is just broke up with his long term partner, hasn't dated in years and is a nervous wreck and really likes you and doesn't want to mess it up. So his anxiety is blocking him from coming up with better ideas?

Otherwise its not a great spot for dates in general!

Maybe the poor chap is socially awkward and just needs some time to improve his dating game. Why does everyone on Reddit always think the worst?