Hi doctors. My name is Linnie. I’m 16, 5’6 and 109 pounds. I don’t have any health issues.
I had an appointment today with a doctor (not my regular doctor, she was busy, but someone on her team) because I got bit by a cat when I was volunteering at a shelter, and it seemed like it was getting infected. So that’s why I was there. I drove myself because I have my license now so I was alone. The nurse took my vitals and my height and weight and then took me back to the room where I was waiting. The nurse told me to put on a gown, which I was confused about because it was so cold in there and I was wearing a t shirt where the bite was visible but I figured maybe they wanted to see if I got bit somewhere else and just didn’t notice.
Well then the doctor came in and started introducing herself but stopped and looked at me, looked at the paper the nurse wrote everything on and made a face and then opened my chart on her computer. She kind of made this forced smile and finished introducing herself and said “you’re here for a cat bite?” Which I confirmed. So then she said “I just want to recheck all your vitals, sorry about that but I want to make sure they’re accurate in case I need to prescribe something”. She retook my height and weight and blood pressure and temperature. She was really quiet and not chatty and I know not everyone has the same personality but it felt like such an uncomfortable silence. So then she tells me I can sit on the table and she looked at the bite and was asking questions about that. And then she started looking at my feet and legs and was squeezing my toes and ankles. She spent a long time listening to my heart and breathing. She pressed a bunch on my stomach. It just felt like stuff that didn’t make sense with me being there for a cat bite. She eventually left and told me I could get dressed and she would be right back.
When she came back she told me she was going to sent antibiotics to the pharmacy in the building, and then she said “I want you to come back this week Thursday or Friday to get it looked at again and make sure it’s healing, but I want you to see [regular doctor].” So I told her how the reception told me she was full this whole week and she said “don’t worry, I’ll put in a message to her and we’ll get you in”. And then she looked at me in the eyes and said “are you feeling okay lately?” And put her hand on my knee and I told her I’m okay and she kind of sat there like she was waiting for me to say more. And then she stood up and said “take care of yourself” and squeezed my shoulder and then we walked out and I checked out and they scheduled me with my doctor Friday.
But I kind of feel like a lot of that wasn’t about the cat bite. Earlier this year I started intuitive eating, and I ended up losing about 40 pounds. At first I was really happy but lately it’s making me feel weird. Like it’s too much and I don’t like people looking at me. I just feel disconnected from my body if that makes sense. I think I lost more than I realized at first. It kind of snuck up on me. But I’ve been sick to my stomach all day thinking about the appointment and I feel like I’m waiting to be sent to the principals office. I’m so anxious I want to cancel the appointment.
Thats what she was worried about though isn’t it? About the weight loss? And she wants me to see my regular doctor about it?
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I would be worried about your weight if I were a doctor seeing you, especially with a 40lb weight loss over the past several months. That's not from "intuitive eating." Intuitive eating involves giving your body everything it needs, and 40lbs of weight loss in a teenager, leaving you underweight, is not an indication that your body is getting what it needs.
At first when I started I was just trying to listen to cues like only eating when I felt actual hunger and slowing down so I could tell when I was full and just eating what I wanted but small amounts and not restricting things. And I thought losing weight doing that meant I did actually need to lose it. But eventually I just kept feeling less hungry and I didn’t notice until it was really different from before and by then I wasn’t sure what to think about it. I didn’t mean to lose this much. I just didn’t want to feel like I was constantly thinking about food and eating anytime I saw it and like I had no self control. I felt like I was stuck just watching myself binge all the time before. It’s just really confusing because I didn’t think I’d feel so guilty and ashamed of myself on this end of it too.
Guys, please don’t downvote the teenager who is being very vulnerable and talking about her issue honestly. That doesn’t create a space where people feel safe to be open. She’s not being disrespectful or arguing, she isn’t doing anything wrong.
Thank you for saying this. It happens on almost every post, the ignorance is astonishing.
Agreed. Thank you.
Reddit is so wack sometimes.
That would be people not reddit.
This sounds like a restrictive eating disorder at this point, and I do think you need some medical attention for it. The way you're feeling is very common for people with eating disorders. I would urge you to go back to the doctor and talk a bit more in depth about what's going on, or to reach out to a friend, family member, or counselor who may be able to help you out.
When I go back Friday for them to look at the bite do you think it’ll get brought up on its own? I don’t know what I would say. I’m afraid I’ll freeze up. I feel like my brain gets stuck even when im just trying to think about it
Try writing down notes for yourself of the points you'd like to mention. That way if you get flustered you can look at your own notes.
That’s a good idea too. I never remember what I want to say. But I also am kind of scared I won’t get the nerve to mention it. But I kind of think it’s going to come up anyway
NAD, just wanting to say that I’m proud of you for wanting to talk to your doc about this, even though it’s scary. you are worth it, and it’s brave if you to do the hard things! 💛
To be honest I’m not even sure what I want but I just feel like I desperately don’t want to feel the way I do anymore and I don’t know how to fix it myself. I just feel sad and anxious a lot and like nothing I do is right and I want help. I’m tired
those are reasonable and valid feelings to have; all the things you’re going through are hard and complicated and scary. it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.
you are worth investing in, and talking to a doc you trust is investing in yourself and your future! your intuition to ask for help—here, at the doctor’s, wherever else—is a good one.
what you’re describing (not wanting to deal with this alone, feeling like you’re in over your head, not wanting to feel the way you feel) is something I’ve felt a lot at different points, too. most recently, it led me to get treatment for my depression. it helped! and I’m glad I listened to what my brain and body were telling me and got some help from a professional. you’re not alone!
Thank you. That makes me feel a little less like I’m a freak
Accept help.
NAD. went through something similar to you OP. I'm not going to tell you all of what happened, but getting help now instead of later will be a huge gift you will appreciate when you are no longer tired and less frequently sad and a few years older.
It does get better. Sometimes it's annoying, sometimes it feels pointless, but every time you're trying be it a good or a bad day, it will cumulatively improve over time.
Self perception is finicky and tricky. Let the people trained to help you, help you, so that your future will be a success.
Hey OP. Good on you for taking care of yourself and following up here. Don’t let shame get to you. You didn’t do anything wrong and being able to identify that you need help, and then getting it even if you’re uncomfortable, is a huge thing that will serve you well throughout your life.
I just wanted to let you know that I went through something similar and feeling sad and anxious could be because your body needs more nutrition. Low blood sugar can make you super anxious and cause your brain not to be able to think well.
You got this!
NAD but I went through a VERY similar situation at your age - started intuitive eating, lost weight and slipped into an ED. My brain felt foggy, it felt like nothing I did was right, and I was sad and anxious all the time. I wish I had reached out for help, but I didn’t, and I ended up having an ED for 16 years (I still relapse once or twice a year). Please tell your doctor what’s going on - don’t wind up on the same path as me.
What do you do when you relapse?
I don't think you should add to your anxieties about being anxious about wanting help, and not knowing how to fix it yourself. I am an old lady and if there is one thing that continually puzzles me is that we humans somehow believe we are meant to be independent and strong and fix everything on our own. If we don't, we're weak. None of this is true: humans are social beings and we are not meant to be alone, or to only rely on ourselves for any kind of care. We are meant, as humans, to work together, for the good our ourselves, and the good of others. "It takes a village," is now a cliche, but it is a true one. No one is meant to go on this journey alone. It's too hard. We are meant to lean on one another, and that is what doctors are FOR. What you are saying is like saying something like - let's say you're shopping for a Christmas tree, and there's a salesperson there helping - "well, I really am unsure about how to go about getting a Christmas tree, and I'm really anxious about it because, aren't I supposed to do that ALL BY MYSELF? Isn't that how it works?" When literally, a person is handing you a nice tree. Don't be uneasy about asking a MEDICAL professional about MEDICAL things; It's literally why they are there. And look at you - congrats on being an animal helper!
I don’t know what it is about this but it made me feel so much better. It’s like a hug with words. Thank you
You could write a short note to your doctor ahead of time and just hand it to her to read. Or you could give it to the nurse that tests your vitals to give to her before she comes in with you. That's an easy way to get the convo started. She'll start the convo by asking questions to get the info she needs to help you in the best way.
You could write a note for yourself like someone suggested with bullet points of things you want to be sure are covered.
NAD but a mom- it’s ok if you even want to write a note to give to the Dr ahead of time if you think your brain won’t let you say what you need to. They’re there to help and they want you to feel at home in your body and feel your best. 💗
Print out your description here. You're very articulate.
Op, do you have access to My chart, or any equivalent app or website that has your health info available?
If you don’t you can call the Dr’s office, most of them offer the service and can set you up. Then you can message your Dr through there. You can review it many times until it says what you want.
You can, and probably should, bring it up yourself. You seem to be worried about your weight. And they are too!
It's ok. And a good sign that you recognize something is off. They want to help keep you healthy. Drastic weight loss and becoming underweight during puberty isn't good for healthy body development.
NAD - when I was struggling with depression the first time, I felt the same way about talking to my doctor. I wrote down that I was depressed and when I got there I couldn't say it out loud so I just handed the note to the doctor. They were very good about it. I think it's more common than any of us realize to feel like you can't say something out loud to a doctor and to need to write it down. It's really OK to do that. I hope you can get some comfort at your followup appointment and some good care.
That's what I immediately thought when I first read this post. I'm sure the doctor thought the same thing
NAD, but posting because I feel like it’s important to point out that your post history alludes to a longtime history with issues regarding body image, even when you were at a normal, healthy BMI. Considering your extreme weight loss in a short period of time (putting your BMI at 17.6 [underweight is anything 18.5 and below]), and given everything you’ve said here/in previous posts, it’s important to be honest with your doctor on Friday; I do not believe they’re wanting to see you back because of the cat bite (and I think deep down you know this too).
Yeah I think I’ve disliked how I looked since at least middle school if not before. And I tried to fix it but I never had the self control. And I really thought this time I was doing something healthy and natural and not dieting. I don’t know where it went wrong
NAD - Speaking from experience, when you already have body image issues, it's really easy to slip into a restrictive eating disorder, even unintentionally. Please take whatever suggestions your dr gives seriously, and don't be afraid to ask questions about anything they suggest. I really wish I'd gotten help at 16. Your dr is there to help, and they just want you to be healthy.
If you are losing weight without trying, I would be concerned as your doctor too. A lot of different illnesses can cause rapid weight loss (like autoimmune diseases, etc.) so maybe sharing this with your doctor would be good? That way they can make sure your body is healthy.
NAD, but nothing here (or in their post history, where they mentioned wanting to see a dietician and therapist) points to an autoimmune disease. OP needs help with disordered eating and body dysmorphia (which, if you’re reading this OP, is becoming shockingly common in your age group and is nothing to be embarrassed about, but you need to nip this in the bud before it gets too far).
That may be the reason, but it really isn’t an answerable question. No one here was there for the appointment and we don’t know what their thoughts are, if you’re reading into it, or if there’s something else they are concerned about.
It sounds like you are somewhat concerned though. It may be worthwhile to have that discussion with your doc either way.
Sometimes I think I do feel concerned and then other times I feel like I’m just being dramatic. I get this weird mix of anxiety and happiness about losing weight. I’m not trying to anymore. And when I started that wasn’t my only goal. I wanted to feel like I wasn’t eating impulsively all the time and feel more in control of myself. That’s why I did intuitive eating. And I didn’t have a goal weight in mind but it definitely wasn’t this. But then other times I feel fine and I’ve gotten a lot of really positive comments from people at school and my friends and even the pe teacher and it makes me feel like okay maybe it’s not actually that big a deal because no one else seem to think it is. I don’t know what I feel. It changes a lot
This stranger wants to mention you're doing an excellent job explaining yourself. You express yourself very well. You also followed up on the bite and got yourself treatment. Give yourself credit for being insightful and proactive.
Thank you. The shelter I was working at said the bite needed to be seen because cat bites get infected easily and then by the time I had my appointment it was getting infected so that was right. I’m glad what I’m saying makes sense though because everything I feels so jumbled to me
I tell my kids to write notes to their drs and saw someone tell you to do that. You could honestly just write out all of these comments, you’ve explained everything very well.
I just want you to know that eating impulsively can be a really normal part of being a teenager, you use up a lot more calories than you'd think.
I was thin growing up with overweight brothers. We ate the same amounts, sometimes I'd even eat more. My brothers struggled hard with weight and feeling bad about it, and I felt self consciousness about my body too (thought I was heavy, ha!).
My brothers looked "unhealthy", but are much more healthy than I'll ever be.
Small body shape is not an indicator of health/success and being bigger doesn't equal laziness/self control issues. PE teachers in particular are really bad about remembering this.
You should be proud of yourself that you are trying to take better care of your body.
Don't feel ashamed for making a mistake and don't be embarrassed to ask for help to do it right. No one is an expert in everything and mistakes are inevitable.
Your doctor would be THRILLED if you let them know your intention and asked for advice on how to do it in a healthy way! They absolutely love patients who are actively involved in their health.
Tell them how you were feeling, your goals, what you tried, and let them help you figure out a plan that makes you feel good 💕
I think that you should probably also talk with your doctor about your anxiety.
You seem to minimize/invalidate your own experiences because it's not fitting in with your surroundings/what others say and I just want you to know that your experiences are just as real/valid as everyone else's.
Sometimes it helps to step out of your shoes and treat yourself with as much love and respect as you'd treat your best friend. You deserve the same compassion and grace.
Most importantly: Find, focus on, and embrace your strengths.
This post talking about your fears and struggles shows you are resilient, self aware, and have amazing willpower.
I think it's incredible that you were able to change your relationship with food, recognize your feelings surrounding it, and know that things need to change. That's a level of maturity some people never reach.
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I’m kind of nervous they’d be mad at me for doing it wrong or think I’m stupid
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I didn’t know there was a book. I saw an intuitive eating dietician a couple times and I was following some of them on Instagram and sometimes lurking in that sub but I thought I was basically getting the gist of it
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Please stop talking about what OP is doing as "intuitive eating." For her, it is not productive and is turning into an eating disorder.
Now that I’ve been thinking about it I’m wondering what’s going to happen if the actual purpose of the appointment is my weight loss. What do they do? And why wouldn’t she have told me that’s what she wanted me to be seen for? Or even mentioned it at all during my other appointment? And why was she squeezing my legs and toes
NAD. I’m sure they do want to check on your cat bite (ouch!), but I’m guessing they’d also like to ask you about your weight and how you’re feeling in general. Don’t worry - it won’t be an interrogation or anything like that! They just want to get all the information so they can help you feel better as quickly and effectively as possible. There will absolutely not be any judgement, and I really encourage you to be as honest and forthcoming as possible, even though it might be super scary.
There are many, many treatment options to help you feel better and more in control. Your doctor will discuss these with you and maybe even refer you to another doctor that specializes in helping people who have a hard time maintaining their weight for whatever reason. Please don’t be scared, everyone caring for you just wants you to feel your best.
I agree that the previous visit was irregular, but I wouldn’t be alarmed. I’m guessing the person you saw had lesser qualifications than your normal doctor (very normal!) and didn’t want to give you any incorrect information. Sounds like she performed a basic evaluation (that often involves squeezing and palpating parts of the body) to make sure you weren’t having an immediate medical emergency.
Not a doctor, but I had an eating disorder at your age. They will probably want to make sure your health is okay, like check your labs, etc. and make sure there is nothing urgent from lack of nutrition. They will also want to figure out what is causing the weight loss. If you didn't discuss it, the doctor you saw doesn't know if you lost weight because you are eating less or some other reason. They may want to check if you need additional help from a mental health professional or dietician. Don't worry about the label, like if it is an eating disorder or not, just focus on getting help to be as healthy as possible mentally and physically.
Due to rapid weight loss they will probably want to make sure your heart is coping, check your sugar levels, BP, etc. She was squeezing your legs and toes probably for circulation, perhaps muscle mass, looking for signs of malnutrition. Have you lost your period? Did she ask about that? Was she a younger doctor per chance? Her silence mightve been "uh oh, nurse has noted to check in about ED, shoot how do I handle this delicately"
I got my period about two months ago. It’s been irregular since I got it a year and a half ago. The doctor seemed like she was about my mom’s age so maybe 38?
Good to keep an eye on it, could be late due irregularity but you've likely lost a significant amound of weight in the last 2 months so can't rule out period loss due to malnourishment. I reckon she was probably concerned, figuring out how to handle it, and assessing the severity. Make sure to go to that follow up! 38 for a doctor is still bright eyed and bushy tailed, training takes so long