It’s not love. Relax. I’ve checked.

It’s just that Tea tastes better, songs sound personal and my phone suddenly feels “Critically” important.

I don’t miss you.No I don’t. I don’t have the right to do that. I just notice when the day behaves weirdly without you or your text in it.

I start saving memes like they are urgently required. I open my chat window, close it, open it again for productivity obviously.

I say I’m busy but I am not. I am just strategically available.

Traffic still exists,but I’m less irritated by it. Queues move slower yet I feel calmer which is actually suspicious.

Silence with you isn’t awkward. It’s the kind where I sit on a terrace, say nothing and still feel like something important happened.

I’m not calling this love or affection because that word comes with expectations, judgements and emotions asking questions.

This feels lighter. Like sharing the last piece of cake but pretending I did not want it.

I reply fast. Then think, that was “Too fast.” Then think, “Too late now.” Then overthink why I thought at all. And when a reply does not come for a long period of time, which usually happens, I self scrutinise myself….

And if this ends which it will as things seem to be moving… it won’t be dramatic. I’ll just hear a song, smile for no reason and immediately judge myself.

But here’s the thing I am still better for it. Softer, braver and annoyingly optimistic again.

So no, it’s not love or affection.

It is just that life is suddenly funnier, warmer and slightly distracted.

Which is fine.Totally fine. I think. 😄