I (29F) was on a group call with my two older sisters (32F and 34F) and my mother. We all live in different countries, so we talk on group calls regularly. My oldest sister is currently pregnant and has been more irritable and snappy lately. Most of the time i have assumed itsdue to her hormones and have tried not to take her attitude personally.During the call my mother mispronounced a word in our native language. My mother has never been to school and struggles with pronunciation sometimes. When this happened, my older sister snapped at her in a very disrespectful and demeaning tone saying something like, “Why are you saying it like thst?Dont you even know how to say it? " One thing about our mom is that she is very naive. She rarely stands up for herself and has lived a difficult life. She usually just takes things quietly and doesnt argue back. Seeing my sister speak to her that way made me lose my temper and I yelled at my sister. I dont remember my exact words, but the gist was that she needed to get off her high horse and stop talking down to our mom. This led to some back and forth yelling between us. Then my other sister and my mom intervened and told us to stop, and eventually I calmed down. After a while, I tried to speak to my sister normally, but she completely ignored me. She responded to my mom and our other sister as usual but would not acknowledge me at all even when I called her name. Eventually we ended the call. Now I feel really bad about yelling at her, even though I was trying to stand up for my mom. So AITA?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
you were just sticking up for your mom and just because your sister is pregnant doesn’t make it okay for her to be disrespectful. yeah her hormones are probably all over the place but she can control what comes out of her mouth.
NTA
this, her hormones don't control the words she chooses.
NTA You spoke up for your Mom.
NTA. Being pregnant is not a free pass to be an Ahole. She was nasty to your mum and it was uncalled for. Especially as you said, sometimes she has trouble pronouncing words. So why get in her face now. Your mum obviously likes the quiet life and doesn't want to make a fuss. That doesn't mean your sister can belittle her and get a free pass.
I've been pregnant twice and both were bloody miserable. But, at no point did I use it as an excuse to be nasty and rude. I was snappy and irritable at times. I'm sure my husband would be quick to agree. But to put someone down like that, that's never ok. That sister should be apologising for making your mum feel rubbish. She may hide it well, but I bet it hurt her inside.
Don’t take pregnancy as an excuse to be an ass. Your sister was a jerk and should be called out. Just ignore her.
Bullies hate being called out. You might have went overboard since you can’t remember what you said but still NTA.
For years, I have listened to my brother in law talk about pitchers. He'll show me a pitcher on his phone. He built something and wants to show off a pitcher.
Every time, it's like nails on a chalkboard and I want to go, "sir, it's a picture. Pitchers are for water or throw baseballs. This is a picture." But, I don't, because it'd be a rude thing for literally no reason.
It's a pet peeve. I choose to ignore it because it won't do anything but demean the guy. I'd be the asshole. I choose not to be.
Your sister has no such qualms.
My mom says Walmark. I (politely)points it out to her once, she insisted she was saying Walmart, but she isn't. I've never said anything since, but inside i scream every time she says it😂
My grandma calls those little single use dust mops Swifters. Not a Swiffer. Swifter. There's a T in there. Bite my tongue.
Not worth it. I'll just take my cookies and juice for using the Swifter and helping grandma clean up. Thanks, Grandma.
The whole "pitcher" thing is really maddening.
It is. But, if I correct him, he'll keep doing it and never change and I'm just being a pedantic a-hole because clearly everyone knows what he means.
Oh, I get it.
The city I live in ends in -land. Like Portland, with land pronounced the same. More like lund than land. Yet my mom says land. And it drives me nuts. The best I can do is say it the right way and hope she hears me. She never will. She pronounces words wrong all the time but correcting her would upset her. So I don't.
Now I want to annoy my Oregon family by pronouncing it Port-land. Over enunciate it.
Pregnancy is not an excuse for disrespecting your mom. NTA, and good on you for defending your mom
In general pregnancy isn't an excuse to be a crap person.
I applaud OP as well for standing up for mom.
Nope!
NTA, disrespect my mom and I'm swinging IDC if we blood relatives or not.
No, you’re not. Sounds like she deserved it.
She was RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL towards your mother! You had every right to stand up for her. Your sister is angry because someone actually called her out on it. Pregnant or not, does NOT give her the right to be that towards the woman who BIRTHED and RAISED her!!!
NTA
NTA. I'm currently pregnant, hormonal, irritable and sleep deprived, but I'm mature enough to know that's no one else's problem. You can be both pregnant and an asshole, and it is shameful to disrespect your parents. You did the right thing by standing up for your mom. Your sister needs to get a grip.
Pregnancy is not a pass to be disrespectful or nasty. Coming from a pregnant person lmao. Go you, maybe work with your mom individually about her boundaries she doesn’t deserve this. Who knows what she takes when you’re not around.
NTA Id have done the same
NTA, sister was being rude. she deserved it
NTA, being pregnant doesnt make her privileged for yelling
NTA
Being pregnant will never be an excuse for your sister to snap at her mom.
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I (29F) was on a group call with my two older sisters (32F and 34F) and my mother. We all live in different countries, so we talk on group calls regularly. My oldest sister is currently pregnant and has been more irritable and snappy lately. Most of the time i have assumed itsdue to her hormones and have tried not to take her attitude personally.During the call my mother mispronounced a word in our native language. My mother has never been to school and struggles with pronunciation sometimes. When this happened, my older sister snapped at her in a very disrespectful and demeaning tone saying something like, “Why are you saying it like thst?Dont you even know how to say it? " One thing about our mom is that she is very naive. She rarely stands up for herself and has lived a difficult life. She usually just takes things quietly and doesnt argue back. Seeing my sister speak to her that way made me lose my temper and I yelled at my sister. I dont remember my exact words, but the gist was that she needed to get off her high horse and stop talking down to our mom. This led to some back and forth yelling between us. Then my other sister and my mom intervened and told us to stop, and eventually I calmed down. After a while, I tried to speak to my sister normally, but she completely ignored me. She responded to my mom and our other sister as usual but would not acknowledge me at all even when I called her name. Eventually we ended the call. Now I feel really bad about yelling at her, even though I was trying to stand up for my mom. So AITA?
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NTA, but you could have handled it better in hindsight. Your sister was disrespecting your mom and deserved to be called out, but you could have not yelled at her. She’s taking it too far by completely ignoring you. If I were in your shoes I’s try to call her privately and lead by apologizing for losing your temper. Hopefully she’ll apologize for speaking to your mom that way and you can bond and put it in the past. If she doesn’t apologize or doesn’t accept your apology it may have to be an ongoing conversation… if she feels the same way post pregnancy i don’t quite know… It’s not an ideal situation but i think where you were coming from was valid in the moment and though not perfect, she doesn’t get an excuse to be an asshole and take no accountability just because she’s pregnant imo
My mom and I had our fights....but mouth off like that? Even behind the "safety" of however many miles and a computer?
Oh, hell, no.
Mom would have killed me long before Dad ever heard about it....
NTA. Being pregnant does not give some the right to be an AH to others for no valid reason.
NTA ask your sister how she'd feel if her child spoke to her that way