AITA for outing my aunt's bedwetting after she kept asking about my sex life?
I'm 18F and am paralyzed chest down from an accident three years ago. I live with my older brother, and this past week he hosted a big family reunion with multiple other relatives staying in the house, very little privacy. The last time I saw her, my aunt would not stop asking invasive questions about my body and my sex life. I told her multiple times to stop, and she laughed and said that since my care affects the whole family (it does not), it's "not really private." which is bullshit. Then on Saturday night she stayed over and wet the bed. I know because she asked my brother about laundry and he found out about it, and told me. No one else knew. I of course wasn't planning on telling anyone because obviously that's embarrasing for her and I above anyone know what it's like to not have full control of my body. But then yesterday the family had lunch with everyone, and she started with her bullshit again and joked that my boyfriend is more of a nurse than a lover.
I said that perhaps she needs a nurse so she stops pissing herself at night. That did not go over well. I know it's a mean thing to say but I feel like it's justified lowkey. My brother is fully on my side and had to keep himself from laughing his ass off. The rest of my family is not at all amused. From my perspective I set a boundary which was ignored, so I matched her energy.
Are there really people out there who are rude enough to say things like "Your boyfriend is more like a nurse than a lover" at the dinner table?
As a cerebral palsy guy who has nonetheless been consistently dating for the best part of 25 years, I've never encountered anything like this. I think if someone did try saying something like that in mixed company, I wouldn't have to defend my honor with a surgically nasty riposte... they'd be loudly and immediately hustled out by several people. Nobody likes anyone who kicks people when they're down, whether they're family or not.
My husband has a broken neck, and we've never encountered this either. Maybe we should take a trip to AITAland just to see all these absolutely boundryless insane people
People like this probably do exist (probably not many), but as you said, their behavior would most likely not be tolerated. Not just by the person they’re commenting on, but everyone else present, too. However in AITALand when someone makes an incredibly rude/ weird comment, everyone seems to go quiet, become unamused, uncomfortable, but never actually does anything.
I have an aunt who would 100% ask this question. She is also not invited to anything. The last time she was ever at a family event she said something nasty to my sweet 80 year old grandmother and Gram's new husband, not so calmly, told her that her days of being rude and disrespectful to Gram were done.
I've encountered it, not at the dinner table. But when I was in a wheelchair (I have chronic pain but new meds mean i'm not in a chair anyone) I got comments along those lines a couple of times over the years. Never from family though, only strangers.
Yeah all these stories hinge on a huge suspension of disbelief re: social taboos. Like we’re supposed to believe that there are people out here just unapologetically ignoring cultural taboos we’ve been immersed in since birth. Imagine pointing out someone’s disability at a family reunion. Imagine asking anyone (much less a disabled person) invasive questions re: sexual activity at a family gathering. Imagine asserting that someone’s relationship is not valid because they have a disability. Just thinking about that makes us cringe. Even the thought of accidentally saying something that could possibly be interpreted that way makes us uncomfortable. It’s Michael Scott from The Office-type stuff. It’s not real life because this is the type of shit that comes with severe social consequences. That’s why people don't say these things in real life unless they have some kind of intellectual disability.
Yeah I was going to say that apparently OP's entire family hates them as seemingly nobody came to their defense and some are actually siding with the nasty aunt.
Right. My mum sometimes refers to me as "Quasimodo", but she's the only one who's allowed to, because it makes me laugh. I think if my stepsisters started popping off at me along similar lines, both of my parents would step in.
People really just hear these words and phrases, refuse to ever look into what they could actually mean and then use them to justify just doing whatever the hell they were going to do anyway. Matching someone's energy means not giving them more time/energy/effort than they give to you, not being a petty baby. Grow up and tell your aunt to fuck off until she learns how to behave like an adult instead of trying to humiliate her for something outside of her control, maybe? Like why are you making fun of her for something that could be considered a disability instead of just telling her to get out?
I'm sure it's fake so it doesn't matter but god Redditors love being petty and weird instead of just acting like adults
Then on Saturday night she stayed over and wet the bed. I know because she asked my brother about laundry and he found out about it, and told me. No one else knew.
That’s a really weird way to work in the “she pissed the bed” plot point.
Why did she spend the night at the home of the cousin who’s angry at her because she keeps asking inappropriate questions? Why didn’t she strip the bed and put the linens in the washing machine herself? Did she clean the mattress? Surely she knew your brother would discover the pee and tell the (rightfully) frustrated/angry disabled sister about it. And why did she even show up to the lunch so soon after pissing someone else’s bed? And then ask the same inappropriate sexual questions that got you mad at her last time? Did she want you to call her out re: bed-wetting? And how many damn bedrooms does your brother have?
The rest of my family is not at all amused.
Yeah somehow I’m not convinced the family would side with the bedwetting cousin who probes her profoundly disabled teenage cousin about her sexual abilities over the 18-year-old girl who can’t even breathe on her own
the commentators on these posts are always so close to getting it. they're always telling the person to say "hey why are you so obsessed with my sex life" and they completely miss that it's fetish posting
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AITA for outing my aunt's bedwetting after she kept asking about my sex life?
I'm 18F and am paralyzed chest down from an accident three years ago. I live with my older brother, and this past week he hosted a big family reunion with multiple other relatives staying in the house, very little privacy. The last time I saw her, my aunt would not stop asking invasive questions about my body and my sex life. I told her multiple times to stop, and she laughed and said that since my care affects the whole family (it does not), it's "not really private." which is bullshit. Then on Saturday night she stayed over and wet the bed. I know because she asked my brother about laundry and he found out about it, and told me. No one else knew. I of course wasn't planning on telling anyone because obviously that's embarrasing for her and I above anyone know what it's like to not have full control of my body. But then yesterday the family had lunch with everyone, and she started with her bullshit again and joked that my boyfriend is more of a nurse than a lover.
I said that perhaps she needs a nurse so she stops pissing herself at night. That did not go over well. I know it's a mean thing to say but I feel like it's justified lowkey. My brother is fully on my side and had to keep himself from laughing his ass off. The rest of my family is not at all amused. From my perspective I set a boundary which was ignored, so I matched her energy.
AITA?
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This is like 5 kinks in one. Generational fetish post
A fetish gold mine, if I’ve ever seen one!
Take notes everyone, doesn’t get better than this. There WILL be a quiz.
Fetishpalooza? Fetishpocalypse? Fetishmageddon?
Are there really people out there who are rude enough to say things like "Your boyfriend is more like a nurse than a lover" at the dinner table?
As a cerebral palsy guy who has nonetheless been consistently dating for the best part of 25 years, I've never encountered anything like this. I think if someone did try saying something like that in mixed company, I wouldn't have to defend my honor with a surgically nasty riposte... they'd be loudly and immediately hustled out by several people. Nobody likes anyone who kicks people when they're down, whether they're family or not.
My husband has a broken neck, and we've never encountered this either. Maybe we should take a trip to AITAland just to see all these absolutely boundryless insane people
People like this probably do exist (probably not many), but as you said, their behavior would most likely not be tolerated. Not just by the person they’re commenting on, but everyone else present, too. However in AITALand when someone makes an incredibly rude/ weird comment, everyone seems to go quiet, become unamused, uncomfortable, but never actually does anything.
Elon musk is one of those people.
I've also never encountered anybody who will talk this much about the sex life of their niece.
I have an aunt who would 100% ask this question. She is also not invited to anything. The last time she was ever at a family event she said something nasty to my sweet 80 year old grandmother and Gram's new husband, not so calmly, told her that her days of being rude and disrespectful to Gram were done.
strangers are more likely to do this than family tbh
I've encountered it, not at the dinner table. But when I was in a wheelchair (I have chronic pain but new meds mean i'm not in a chair anyone) I got comments along those lines a couple of times over the years. Never from family though, only strangers.
Yeah all these stories hinge on a huge suspension of disbelief re: social taboos. Like we’re supposed to believe that there are people out here just unapologetically ignoring cultural taboos we’ve been immersed in since birth. Imagine pointing out someone’s disability at a family reunion. Imagine asking anyone (much less a disabled person) invasive questions re: sexual activity at a family gathering. Imagine asserting that someone’s relationship is not valid because they have a disability. Just thinking about that makes us cringe. Even the thought of accidentally saying something that could possibly be interpreted that way makes us uncomfortable. It’s Michael Scott from The Office-type stuff. It’s not real life because this is the type of shit that comes with severe social consequences. That’s why people don't say these things in real life unless they have some kind of intellectual disability.
Yeah I was going to say that apparently OP's entire family hates them as seemingly nobody came to their defense and some are actually siding with the nasty aunt.
Right. My mum sometimes refers to me as "Quasimodo", but she's the only one who's allowed to, because it makes me laugh. I think if my stepsisters started popping off at me along similar lines, both of my parents would step in.
“From my perspective I set a boundary which was ignored, so I matched her energy.”
I hate this. I am setting my own boundaries about seeing the word “boundary” in these posts.
People really just hear these words and phrases, refuse to ever look into what they could actually mean and then use them to justify just doing whatever the hell they were going to do anyway. Matching someone's energy means not giving them more time/energy/effort than they give to you, not being a petty baby. Grow up and tell your aunt to fuck off until she learns how to behave like an adult instead of trying to humiliate her for something outside of her control, maybe? Like why are you making fun of her for something that could be considered a disability instead of just telling her to get out?
I'm sure it's fake so it doesn't matter but god Redditors love being petty and weird instead of just acting like adults
because theyre all teenagers
I'm setting boundaries about the words "energy" and "vibe" because they are way over used.
So neice, how is your sex life?
Asking your 18 year old relatives about their sex life is an important part of family bonding.
How else are those genetics gonna get passed down?
Pass the cranberries and who has good oral tips to be thankful for this holiday season?
Tell me in detail, it was seeing the turkey made me think of it. Eat up, everyone.
That’s a really weird way to work in the “she pissed the bed” plot point.
Why did she spend the night at the home of the cousin who’s angry at her because she keeps asking inappropriate questions? Why didn’t she strip the bed and put the linens in the washing machine herself? Did she clean the mattress? Surely she knew your brother would discover the pee and tell the (rightfully) frustrated/angry disabled sister about it. And why did she even show up to the lunch so soon after pissing someone else’s bed? And then ask the same inappropriate sexual questions that got you mad at her last time? Did she want you to call her out re: bed-wetting? And how many damn bedrooms does your brother have?
Yeah somehow I’m not convinced the family would side with the bedwetting cousin who probes her profoundly disabled teenage cousin about her sexual abilities over the 18-year-old girl who can’t even breathe on her own
Seems like saying it was a period deal would end the questioning quickly.
FWIW ... this sub is FABULOUS!!! ALWAYS makes me lmao. Seriously important as I'm recovering from heart surgery!
A multi-fetish kink drop
It's fetishes all the way down!
the commentators on these posts are always so close to getting it. they're always telling the person to say "hey why are you so obsessed with my sex life" and they completely miss that it's fetish posting
Three years ago she was asking a 15 year old about her sex life repeatedly?…ok then
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Wait, you almost murdered her because she hopes you’ll have a healthy romantic relationship one day?
YTA
Walt... Who is? I think you might be lost