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You can be born a sociopath or a psychopath. It’s a lack of empathy that affects people differently, so kids can be born evil. They can also be made evil if they get a brain injury just like an adult.
Even psychopaths and sociopaths aren’t inherently evil. You can be decent on principle without the feeling of empathy, because you are taught that it is what’s right
NOR. I do think you should really think about where could a 2.5 - 6 year old possibly pick up that language? Language is learned, it does NOT come naturally. What are his parents like? Who else does he spend significant time with? He is 100% learning this behavior and mimicking it. I think you should stop the focus on Alex and turn ur focus to other people in his life. You may be able to stop some serious abuse.
NOR. I’m going to trust that Dina and Mitch are being honest in that they’ve never knowingly exposed him to such content. Showing that kind of behavior that young could be potentially indicative of psychopathy/sociopathy.
This reminds me of a famous Reddit story, “AITA for beating my son half to death” it’s a brutal read but sometimes kids are born with brains that don’t function as they should. Sad situation all around
Edit: Got the post title wrong but here’s the link if anyone’s interested
I had a friend like this he’d curse at you,hit, and act out all the time and I know his parents never let him see anything he shouldn’t (this was over ten years ago before kids being online all the time was super common) it took many years of therapy and medication before he was able to be helped so I hope their kid can be helped too (I think my friend was around 8 or 9 when he started behaving better)
This isn’t an evil child there is no such thing. This is a product of the child’s early upbringing. He saw and learned these behaviors and “insults” from somewhere. Be it TV or other kids, or his family. The adults are not innocent in his behavior here sorry.
No amount of medication or counseling will work. He'll be committed and institutionalized at some point due to being a danger to himself or others. I've seen it a hundred times.
Sounds like parents fight in front of the kid or someone is being abused in that house. Is the kid spending time with anyone else unsupervised? This sounds like abuse but someone is hiding something.
YATH, I mean, YOR and falling as an adult and friend, because I, for one, knew my frontal lobe was fully developed the day I stopped playing with grown ass people disrespecting children.
IF this cheap version of “We Need To Talk About Kevin” is real and there's no abuse happening at home, I hope this child’s parents are more kind and emotionally mature than you are OP. They also deserve better friends, because you seem way too comfortable laughing at strangers' jokes at their expense.
WTF are you talking about. This is NOT normal behavior from a child, especially one so young. No where is what OP wrote made them sound anything but concerned and sympathetic. Maybe your frontal lobe has finished developing, but your reading comprehension hasn't.
Since you read so well please show me where I said the child's behavior was normal? What is not normal is an adult calling a 6-year-old kid evil and laughing at/making jokes about it in the comments. OP said they and their boyfriend were “going to hell fs” for some of the things they say supposedly in private but that they were happy to share. This is not the behaviour of someone sympathetic and concerned, they're taking the piss at the expense of a either a severely abused and/or mentally ill kid and I wouldn't want them around my family. Or you, for that matter.
Who else does Alex spend time with? If he’s not getting this from a screen, he’s getting it from someone near him. A 6 year old doesn’t naturally have the vocabulary to say they will “stab you until you die” and then refer to it as their “funny joke.” They learn it from someone else. Are you sure that your friends are not fighting in front of him?
Otherwise your friends need to take a long hard look at who their child is spending time around and not just at daycare. My gut is that he is either spending time with another child who is teaching him these things or with an extended family member who is exposing him to these ideas and encouraging his behavior. They need to figure out who it is and cut contact, even if it’s his grandpa.
Yep, he had to learn the words and ideas somewhere. Especially if he started using violent language at two and a half. Why did a 2.5year old even know how to call someone stupid, dumb, or ugly? He heard it from somewhere. Either someone in the kid’s life doesn’t understand they’re negatively influencing him, or someone in his life is straight up abusive.
Even if he was predisposed to this behavior, that would be a chemical imbalance in his brain that would need some form of medical attention, it wouldn’t make the kid evil. But an imbalance in the brain won’t magically teach a kid socially popular insults, he still would’ve learned them from a bad influence.
I used to teach, and one kid with diagnosed autism and adhd was always called evil by one of the aftercare teachers just because he did have some minor spiteful and violent tendencies. The fact that this adult woman would treat him that way would slowly wear him down and make him behave worse.
He one time asked me if he really was evil, because he was sad and didn’t want to be. It broke my heart. I got to know him because I was his personal aid and have seen him display emotions like empathy and protectiveness over the one physically disabled child in our class. He just needed extra help. But every time that horrible woman treated him like he was a monster, it became a self fulfilling prophecy
NOR but you are using harmful terminology. Calling a 3-year-old evil isn't helping anything or anyone.
That said, this has to be learned behavior. It has to come from somewhere. Tots don't just oneday start saying the word stupid or ugly without having heard it from somewhere. Generally, they apply that word in the same way that the people they've heard it from apply it, and quite frequently they use the same target. Do with that information what you will.
Kids dont conjure up words and phrases out of nowhere.
So either 1. He is hearing phrases like fat bitch at home. Or 2. The devil has decided hes gonna whisper swears to this random kid
Parents lie. Parents cover their tracks. Parents pretend to be doing more than they actually are, Parents pretend to do less than they are.
Im not saying your friends are bad parents but I would bet money the husband uses colorful and demeaning language toward the mom, especially since much of yhe Kids ire is directed at women.
I think it is obvious he has heard the phases, and that is normal. The first ones he could even get them from children books (like the Ugly duckling). And then things overheard at kindergarten, supermarket, a movie playing in the background etc. It doesn't mean that the parents speak to each other or to the child this way.
The child could have a conduct disorder, which can occur in children in healthy homes without any verbal or physical abuse.
Some people are born sociopaths. I know it's hard to accept, most people want to blame the parents. I have no idea if that's what is going on in this case, but it absolutely does happen. I feel really sorry for parents in that situation.
calling a child evil is a bit... most definitely has behavioral issues and should be seen by someone but youre making it seem like hes possessed by some evil entity 😭
edit: getting downvoted for saying a mentally ill person should get help is such a reddit thing, im sure all of you are smart enough to know the kid didnt make a conscious choice to be like this
still a mental illness, im sure the little guy didnt ASK to be a sociopath, he should be diagnosed and treated and not ridiculed by people on the internet.
NOR. My nephew was just like this. He was treated with some bipolar meds for a while but it’s hard to know if that would have helped, because my sister unfortunately is not a good parent. She shuts down with stress so the difficult child led to a cycle of neglect and emotional abuse and escalating behaviors on his side. I had to keep my daughter away from him because we were genuinely in fear for all of our safety.
Surprisingly, even with pretty much the worst possible handling of his behaviors, he is now 18 and has greatly improved particularly in the last few years. He is nowhere near regular functioning, but I feel like your friend’s son could really improve with some intervention if he’s truly struggling with the same issue.
YOR in that the kid obviously has some kind of severe mental illness. "Evil" is a very limiting, superstitious and childish way to look at a complex situation. It's like saying he's that way because a witch cursed him.
OED defines evil as "the opposite of good, representing sin, cruelty, or anything causing profound suffering, often contrasted with divine or natural goodness, and can describe wicked people, harmful acts, or even physical misfortune".
Well, for one, as a society we rightly don't try children as adults because we recognize that they are not yet fully cognitively, emotionally, socially, or intellectually developed. Children can have behaviors that resemble "evil," but similar to a dog or a person with a severe mental illness, (which this kid also likely has,) they're not fully culpable for their behavior. Furthermore, as a part of their development, their behavior is typically them mirroring someone else's behavior. Children who witness or experience verbal abuse, for example, are likely to be verbally abusive in their childhood.
Then there's the whole philosophical piece of what "evil" even is to any one person. Is it a religious or cosmic constant that can be discretely identified as a specific state of being? Is it how we describe the most severe antisocial behaviors? Is a hurricane evil? Is "evil" whatever behavior breaches the law or social customs? Depending on which version you mean, it could be more or less valid to call a child "evil."
I land on the side of, "children are not evil. They can be dicks. This one needs help, though a sympathise with how hard it is for all the people around him."
NOR. Although, realistically your boyfriend has no actual idea of what is going on inside 4 walls, he only knows what Mitch and Diana show him.
This kid presents signs of ASPD that need to be accompanied as soon as possible. He is clearly struggling to regulate his impulses, anger and annoyance. Many kids might have some of these violent displays as they learn emotional regulation, but it starting at 2.5 years old and still being happening at 6 does not look good.
It could be that he is indeed imitating abuse that he either experienced or witnessed.
Could also be both ASPD and abuse, since ASPD can be developed through traumatic experiences.
I do find it odd* that the psychiatrist could not help. I would believe a psychiatrist would be able to somehow help. Hopefully the next one is able to do something. Does raise the question if the last psychiatrist raised the "abuse" question and D&M backed out of the psychiatry for "precaution"
I knew a kid like this. His family was fine. Not perfect, but fine. He was a nasty little piece of work. Terrified my kids until I couldn't have him and his mum (an old friend of mine) around. Killed our fish. He just took pleasure from his behaviour. He was also possibly the mist intelligent child i ever met - not sure if that's a factor. No idea where he us now, 25 years later...
That’s not true. Sociopathic traits vary and while abuse can worsen them and in some causes cause them, there are some children that appear to be born with a very high load out of the gate.
NOR.. But something is definitely not right here. There is a few things that come to mind and frankly, none of them are good.
1) Assuming you DO have the full picture of it all, sociopathy at such an early stage and age..
2) Assuming you DON’T have the full picture of it all, abuse in the home or elsewhere he regularly goes or a specific abusive individual who comes around often.
Regardless, this type of behavior and his level of aggression and want to be violent WILL escalate and honestly it wouldn’t shock me that within the next 2-4 years he will be harming animals. As close as you may be to this family, I think you need to call CPS to open an investigation JUST ON THE SAFE SIDE to check the home for anything that may be giving the child these violent ideas…. And see what CPS recommends in terms of investigating other areas such as his daycare and if they have one, a babysitter or regularly around friends or family.
At that age, it 100% has to be an influence from SOMEONE or SOMETHING because that child is at the absolute sponge stage where he’s absorbing every little thing around him and if he’s truly so limited and monitored, there is absolutely no way this child will know over half of the things he has come to say. Where did he learn most of the things he has? The word bitch? Is that regularly used around him? And how about all the insults? This is the most concerning bit that makes me lean toward abuse in the home.
Assuming you DON’T have the full picture of it all, abuse in the home or elsewhere he regularly goes or a specific abusive individual who comes around often.
It's kind of absurd how few people have made this point. As the story goes on the kid's behavior sounds a bit more pathological, but from jump, when I read that he spontaneously started calling his mom ugly, my first thought was, "he sees the dad talk to her like that when no one else is around." It's not outside the realm of possibility that this behavioral trend was instigated by an abusive environment, and has since morphed into attention seeking since it gets such a rise out of people.
I don’t exactly see how it could be, if that were the case I don’t think it would be only insults repeated; though either way if it’s apart of the situation that points to a much larger issue because tics come about typically from hearing it at least once in some way.. abuse in the home likely
I agree, I think it's unlikely but the "fat bitch" comment at the checkout sounded like it, and I thought perhaps they've got it to a degree that doesn't manifest in the typical behaviour we expect to see with Tourette's. It hadn't been mentioned so I thought I'd throw it out there for consideration by OP.
It’s a good and different perspective for sure, I’m sure exploring any route to what it potentially could be stemming from is welcomed by OP and the parents🤔
Has he ever actually laid hands on someone, or is it just threats and insults??
Is there any kind of pattern with when he says these things, or who he says them to?? Does he say these kinds of things more when he’s angry?? Is it possible that he says these things to get attention?? Or to get people to leave him alone??
Where did he learn those words?? You said they restricted his screen time and don’t use harsh or violent language around him. Do they monitor what he watches on TV, or check the contents of books before giving them to him?? Heck, is it possible that they watch anything on TV that he might have overheard such things from?? Doesn’t have to be movies, it could be the news(or even music). I learned a lot of age-unfriendly things as a kid from eavesdropping on my parents watching the news and reading the newspapers at my grandparents’ house. He might have been doing that, or reading inappropriate things at the library, or reading magazines in waiting rooms or something like that. Or overheard it at day care, or while in a store or at the park or any number of other places.
When did he start attending day care?? Did he start acting out more after he started day care??
Around the time this behavior started, had there been any major changes in his life, like moving??
A factor of what he might be hearing his television and radio. All the person has to do is watch the news and a lot of people have complained that once the fairness doctrine stopped people became very rude and aggressive on all news shows and most adults accept it as normal.
NOR I feel like the only 2 things that make sense are either parents being abusive to each other (or if it's only directed at his mother, maybe the father is the one doing it) and/or they're letting him sit around with an iPad watching whatever tf he wants on youtube. My best guess would be the latter
Some kids are just born bad you know! Some bad kids have perfectly lovely parents who tried literally everything to help them to no avail! You can't always blame the parents! Well not in the case of kids born with personality disorders!
Please keep in mind that schizophrenia and sociopathy are very different things. The child here is displaying sociopathic behavior, rather than schizophrenic behavior.
I wish the parents good luck 👍
Displaying signs of antisocial personality disorder, which is generally diagnosed as a conduct disorder in people under 18 because some grow out of these traits
NOR - but, I would strongly lean toward some kind of habitual abuse happening in the home. You may think you know people but especially with narcissists, outsiders frequently are completely fooled. He had to learn this violence and those words somewhere. A two year old doesn’t inherently know insults. The fact that he STARTED to disrespect his mother shows me that disrespect towards his mother is modeled in his home - that’s the norm. I’d suspect the father. Hate to say it but it’s logical.
I was thinking could be just neglect of attention. If he learned that those words get a quick response and always get him some form of attention/ make people stop and pay attention to him.
the worst i ever treated my mom was like a three day span where i learned she had a name other than mom and insisted on calling her that, until she cried and i realized it hurt her feelings
My son is 8 and has violent meltdowns and is on 4 different meds that help but once inawhile he still has one. He has adhd/autism but has above average intelligence so he doesnt understand being a kid with rules. Its really weird but he started getting really violent meltdowns in daycare around age 5. Not sure what it is totally but I can see in his eyes that his frontal cortex is shut down during those meltdowns, like nothing helps until his body calms down, its like an extreme panic response with adrenaline and everything. The post made me really sad because the kid obviously has something going on if not environmental directly. I grew up in severe abuse so my sons behavior scared and confused me because he didnt go through what i did n I had behaviors like his younger too. So I teach him buddhism and he takes meds and over time it has been improving. Delayed development for coping until meds to keep the frontal lobe online to learn coping skills. Day by day, sweet kid but his issues have absolutely been heavy on me since I have autism too.
That doesn’t rule it out, at all. I’m autistic, low empathy and I’ve been hotheaded since I was a little kid, and I was an early reader and frequent eavesdropper who knew about a lot of very age-inappropriate subjects. Starting around the time I was 3, I would tell people all kinds of horrible things for any number of reasons. To get them to leave me alone, or to get them to pay attention to me. To scare them into respecting me more(which, unsurprisingly, didn’t work). Sometimes it was just because I got an adrenaline rush out of saying things that I knew I shouldn’t.
Bf has assured me that to the best of his knowledge that Dad isn’t that kind of person. But what you said is true, it could be a totally different story when they’re alone. I’m just hoping it’s not the case
The most likely issue is the kid has a neurodevelopmental disorder like adhd or autism or combo of both. He sounds like my son at age 5 to 6 and now he is 8 and improving on meds, autism accommodations, and home adjustments. It also improved with age on meds as the kids frontal lobe basically goes offline in a deep panic state, so it delays development and affects emotional regulation and feelings of security. Imagine an panic attack with fight response x2 because of the delayed development. Its totally separate from intelligence or iq too. My son also has celiac and kids can go into a fight response from histamine and adrenaline. Its worth getting thw kid allergy tested and tested for celiac or vitamin deficiencies. Health causes or neurodevelopmental causes (often both) are the primary suspects for that kid based on the information.
Unfortunately, as someone who has been through DV and supported many other women in DV, the man’s friends rarely catch on or suspect their friend of that behavior.
I have a violent mind, i do not mind when people cant control being violent because they cant control it. But for such a young age, children saying that is NOT okay, check what hes been watching or check if there's any signs of if people have encouraged him to be so evil. Overall i hope the kid gets better and stops being so rude.
Considering his behavior, his parents might be waiting to put him in school, or considering a specialized school. It's not out of the realm of possibility; my ex's sister didn't graduate kindergarten until she was 7. Started late and was held back because she was deemed to not be on the same maturity level as her peers. The teacher thought it would have been cruel to let her move on to 1st grade.
Because a good majority of the past issues leading up to now have happened at home, with family, and at daycare. He just started kindergarten this year (2025) in September. Average age to begin kindergarten here is 5/6. He’s had problems there as well but so far nothing compared to his usual (that I know of) that needed to be put in my post
Not a doctor, but I think it sounds like ODD or a similar neurodevelopmental issue. Surprised that he is not receiving care, in my country he would be assessed (though it does take long and they prefer to wait until age 7 or so with ADHD and similar diagnoses).
You are not overreacting because you are not reacting, this is just a story you told, maybe not the best sub for this as you will get much sharper opinions than in parenting/mental health related subreddits.
They’ve been pretty strict with him. My friend has cried to me a handful of times that she’s worried that they’re being too harsh. (I don’t think they are, but I imagine it’s difficult to have to discipline your kid so hard all the time)
I mean, I’m not always around when they’re dealing with his behaviours. I know for a fact that they make him apologize every time something is said. Just about every day they talk with him about how to speak with others and why the things he says aren’t okay. He had his last birthday party cancelled because he was told that he couldn’t have it if he wasn’t kind to others. We’ve left stores and events that he wanted to be a part of when he can’t behave
Yeah teach a kid that violence is how you fix problems. Plenty of studies put there that prove hitting and spanking do nothing beneficial to teach children.
This is actually like the worst type of kid to try and beat. I wouldn't suggest beating *any* kid, but beating a kid like this is how you make him even more violent/cruel even faster.
This is really no laughing matter. This child is starting to exhibit symptoms of some sort of mental illness. Schizophrenia and sociopath readily come to mind… hopefully he has not yet developed a taste for hurting animals which many serial killers exhibit. Many of the more well known serial killers and rapists exhibited these anti social behaviors when just small children. It’s really not a joke and should be taken very seriously.
Well great for you! As the grandmother of a grandchild with diagnosed sociopathy sounds all too familiar. As a former nurse have also seen this from children who were very mentally ill as adults.
It is extremely uncommon for schizophrenia to appear in children under the age of 12, and the earliest signs include paranoia, anxiety, mood swings, preoccupations, and social withdrawal. Early signs of sociopathy almost always appear before the age of 12 and include lying, lack of remorse, manipulation, bullying, lack of impulse control, and fantasies or acts of harm against animals or other people. She did not describe any behavior that falls into that first bucket. I’m not sure how your personal experience with SOCIOPATHY made you feel like it was reasonable to suggest SCHIZOPHRENIA, but I’m sorry your grandchild is experiencing those difficulties.
I agree! Sociopathy or psychopathy is my guess! I've watched many programs & read up on the subject! Kids can be born with them or trauma in their childhood can cause them! I think she needs to broach the subject with her friends but go easy cos it's not exactly an easy thing to hear about your own child! Maybe find some articles & books for them to read! That's what I'd do in the beginning anyway!
>Dina and Mitch were already at their wits end trying to figure out what was going on with Alex. He had extremely limited and completely supervised screen-time, neither of them spoke in such a way around him in any context, and his teachers at daycare had assured that they didn’t allow the kids to speak or play violently.
It's fucked up, but part of me wants to say it's karma for the parents being so stupid and thinking the above would have anything to do with what's happening anyways. LOL
Some kids are just what we would call, for a lack of a better term, "Evil" just like some kids are complete sweeties.
What research would that be? I do believe kids have inherent traits, but you can shape a kid a lot by how you guide them and work with those traits.
As middle school teacher, I've literally seen my students change based on whether their parents change their parenting style or not.
Most of the personality traits in my students match up with parenting style. A kid who doesnt get anything done and talks back to teachers almost always has a parent who argues that the teacher must have done something wrong.
A kid who comes in to make up a poor score on a quiz has a parent who comes to every single parent night and wants to know if their child is doing everything they can to learn, even though their kid already has straight As.
I once had a kid who was a sociopathic nightmare. Dad would come to every parent night and ask what he can do to help his son. I said, "Take the phone away when his grades drop below a B" his response? "But he gets very angry and sad when I do that. What else can I do?" Nice parent, but crap follow through. His parent isn't modeling the sociopathic behavior but he was teaching his son that the behaviors works.
Every single time a parent of a struggling kid actually changed their parenting style and stayed consistent, the kid always become more enjoyable to be around.
But for real, let me see that research. My anecdotal experience only goes so far.
This is just you trying to map on things you observe. It's a very common tendency we have.
>Most of the personality traits in my students match up with parenting style. A kid who doesnt get anything done and talks back to teachers almost always has a parent who argues that the teacher must have done something wrong.
Your proving my point right here. The kid just has a similar *personality* to his parents (very common), but there's nothing about the parenting 'style' that influenced this. This is why trouble kids like this still have majors issues when they go live with an aunt/uncle/family friend, etc.
At best, having a structured home life can prevent certain things from happening *at that time*, but that' about it. For example, you can invest an inordinate amount of resources to in essence 'lock down' your teen and 'forcing' them to do homework or whatever. This *seems* like a victory, but it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things because you're not changing their mentality, which is the only way you produce real, lasting change. But not only that, most of the time it doesn't even truly result in victory. You can't *actually* force someone to do anything, even under threat of physical violence sometimes, let alone silly punishments.
>I once had a kid who was a sociopathic nightmare. Dad would come to every parent night and ask what he can do to help his son. I said, "Take the phone away when his grades drop below a B" his response? "But he gets very angry and sad when I do that. What else can I do?" Nice parent, but crap follow through. His parent isn't modeling the sociopathic behavior but he was teaching his son that the behaviors works.
This is exactly what I mean by the above. In this particular case, the kids personality is a bit divergent, but again this isn't a true 'exception' to the rule as there's no perfect rules.
Let's run through this scenario a priori, we don't even need any data or anything like that immediately see the problem.
Kid doesn't wanna do homework/study and wants to do X instead. Now in this example, we're going with your sociopath, because sure a lot of kids might not 'want' to study/do homework but they understand their parents want what's best for them and they'll at least try and put some level of effort forth. This is NOT the case in your situation here. Let's say he's a full blown sociopath/uncooperative.
1.) He blows off his homework and goes to do whatever he wants to do.
2.) Parent tells him he's going to ground him/take away his phone/games/computer/etc if he doesn't get his grades up.
3.) He doesn't WANT to get his grades up AT ALL. So what is he going to do? He's just going to make your life a living hell until you cave. Why? Because to him, that is preferable to getting his grades up.
But lets say you don't cave? What does he do?
4.) He KEEPS terrorizing you, CONSTANTLY. It does not matter what you take away from him. There is no bargaining.
You see how this is not normal behavior right? He would RATHER go without than do the tradeoff. Kids like this don't 'give in and do homework'. They get MORE destructive the more you take away.
The strategy your referring to works to some degree with normal kids because the see some value in the tradeoffs being presented. Whether it be their personality type causes them to want to be serve their parents, or maybe they just *really* want to play that game or whatever it is, it situational, etc.
But even in the above scenario they're not *really* benefiting by doing your assignments. They're not *failing*, which technically is better in the sense that if they drop out of HS it might affect their employment opportunities, but realistically, your not changing anything about the kids personality. They are just doing what they're doing because they see value in that particular tradeoff. They're not truly 'learning' anything.
Being a parent mostly has to do with curating opportunities for your kids. So obviously, you can do things on that front. Like, it's still an advantage to be born into a wealthy, well connected family, things like that, etc. But not in the sense that they are going to be able to instill any particular sense of value into you.
Read the "Blank Slate" by Steven Pinker. There's a segment of the book in particular about children complete with references.
Realistically what happens is that all of the fuck ups you're around in HS end up getting jobs because we simply have a continual need for people to do work, especially entry level work since there's so much turnover there.
So yeah, most of these people 'turn out okay' by most people's standards, but that doesn't mean parenting or schooling really imprinted anything of meaningful value upon them. At best they've adapted to the realities of adult life, but that doesn't mean they're not still idiots, etc.
Even a bunch of the people that land good jobs or whatever and have access to more money, it's the same story. Whatever they were in HS they're pretty much the same thing.
Point being the parenting style doesn't really matter. It's just more important that you have someone there who's acting reasonably like an adult. Someone who is going to keep you safe, feed you, instilling basic hygiene habits.
So it's not that kids could survive with *no* parents, more just that the *type* of things parents think they impact they often don't
This is honestly my biggest fear with having kids and probably why I won't have any. People tend to think how you raise you kids matters a lot, but most of it is their genetics as well as their socialization, which you have much less control over.
Their are kids like this that are 'born bad' and it's basically going to be a life long project to ensure he doesn't do some heinous shit, even then no guarantees.
There’s some messed up stuff on the internet that kids can come across when unsupervised. Even on YouTube Kids. But that and the other two were just things considered when initially trying to figure out why this kid was becoming so violent
It's more just because these people seem to be the annoying type of people that thing how you raise you kids matter, which is really doesn't unless your straight up abusing them.
I wasn't being serious obviously, but people like that are just really annoying. They were probably the type that have always thought how they raise their kid matters, etc.
I went through a phase like this , genuinely seemed psychotic or sociopathic but I was being abused.
Where does a two year old learn all those insults? Those concepts aren’t inherent , you shoulda made the kid older for that part or scrapped it entirely
It doesn't scream learnt insults to me, because according to the story he started insulting people from the time he started speaking, at each age at his own level, 2 year old = ugly, 4 year old = I want you to get hurt, 6 year old = fat bitch.
It's enough for a kid to hear these terms one time on the street/tv/random adult if he is purposely collecting these phrases.
If everything is true as written here, this sounds like a disorder, not a parenting issue.
Surely it would manifest with physical lashing out before the child was verbal? Babies without disorders can be vicious, some disorders cause infants to compulsively self harm etc.
First word is understanding the concept of ugly?
It just feels like a spooky stories writing prompt
Yep that's what I was thinking too. Kids that young don't inherently know about violence unless they have been exposed to it. And we don't always know what goes on behind closed doors so OP doesn't KNOW that the parents aren't like that lol. If they are, they're not going to show it!
I hope that I know his parents well enough to say that it’s not getting ugly behind closed doors like that. Truly I’ll never know but we have discussed ways to have an investigation done on the daycare centre. It’s extremely unlikely to happen but we’re suspicious
Hopefully you do but yeah truth is usually when kids start to exhibit violence disproportionately like that the first suspicion is about what's going on at home. Then move onto other people. Then when all that is ruled out that's when you'd start to consider mental illnesses.
That was a whole part of the confusion though. No one could figure out WHY he began to say that stuff. Our only theory is that the daycare had things go on/be said that D&M weren’t told about
It might end up being nothing, my younger brother went through a phase where he was always threatening to kill people or shoot them. It sounds like it's a good thing that they're trying to get him help.
I wouldn't be surprised if that's what happens, I can't imagine he really understands what he's saying. I am sure they're keeping him away from any kind of violent content, right?
Absolutely as much as they are capable. There’s no control to what happens/what he hears at daycare or kindergarten but otherwise everything is taken into consideration. Games, toys, books, etc
Yep, sociopathic child, slightly older than your friends' son played brilliantly by Macauly Culkin. It's referenced above by the person saying not to worry unless he's caused a vehicle pile up or drowned his brother.
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There are absolutely bad children. Some are psychopaths!
There are no bad children just bad parents. Remember that always. I could stop that behavior in a day.
Where did you get your child psychologist degree from?
I am a parent. Today’s parents are weak
You can be born a sociopath or a psychopath. It’s a lack of empathy that affects people differently, so kids can be born evil. They can also be made evil if they get a brain injury just like an adult.
The parents are weak enablers
Even psychopaths and sociopaths aren’t inherently evil. You can be decent on principle without the feeling of empathy, because you are taught that it is what’s right
NOR. I do think you should really think about where could a 2.5 - 6 year old possibly pick up that language? Language is learned, it does NOT come naturally. What are his parents like? Who else does he spend significant time with? He is 100% learning this behavior and mimicking it. I think you should stop the focus on Alex and turn ur focus to other people in his life. You may be able to stop some serious abuse.
NOR. I’m going to trust that Dina and Mitch are being honest in that they’ve never knowingly exposed him to such content. Showing that kind of behavior that young could be potentially indicative of psychopathy/sociopathy.
This reminds me of a famous Reddit story, “AITA for beating my son half to death” it’s a brutal read but sometimes kids are born with brains that don’t function as they should. Sad situation all around
Edit: Got the post title wrong but here’s the link if anyone’s interested
I had a friend like this he’d curse at you,hit, and act out all the time and I know his parents never let him see anything he shouldn’t (this was over ten years ago before kids being online all the time was super common) it took many years of therapy and medication before he was able to be helped so I hope their kid can be helped too (I think my friend was around 8 or 9 when he started behaving better)
This isn’t an evil child there is no such thing. This is a product of the child’s early upbringing. He saw and learned these behaviors and “insults” from somewhere. Be it TV or other kids, or his family. The adults are not innocent in his behavior here sorry.
Not true at all
No amount of medication or counseling will work. He'll be committed and institutionalized at some point due to being a danger to himself or others. I've seen it a hundred times.
Sounds like parents fight in front of the kid or someone is being abused in that house. Is the kid spending time with anyone else unsupervised? This sounds like abuse but someone is hiding something.
YATH, I mean, YOR and falling as an adult and friend, because I, for one, knew my frontal lobe was fully developed the day I stopped playing with grown ass people disrespecting children.
IF this cheap version of “We Need To Talk About Kevin” is real and there's no abuse happening at home, I hope this child’s parents are more kind and emotionally mature than you are OP. They also deserve better friends, because you seem way too comfortable laughing at strangers' jokes at their expense.
WTF are you talking about. This is NOT normal behavior from a child, especially one so young. No where is what OP wrote made them sound anything but concerned and sympathetic. Maybe your frontal lobe has finished developing, but your reading comprehension hasn't.
Since you read so well please show me where I said the child's behavior was normal? What is not normal is an adult calling a 6-year-old kid evil and laughing at/making jokes about it in the comments. OP said they and their boyfriend were “going to hell fs” for some of the things they say supposedly in private but that they were happy to share. This is not the behaviour of someone sympathetic and concerned, they're taking the piss at the expense of a either a severely abused and/or mentally ill kid and I wouldn't want them around my family. Or you, for that matter.
How does occupational therapy help a bad kid, unless said kid has an injury to his arms or hands?
Lol
OT has techniques to help kids regulate their emotions and learn coping techniques. It's a surprisingly bigger field than just fine motor skills.
It's occupational therapy, not physical therapy.
It’s not just that. Pediatric OT can help with the social skills and emotional regulation needed to public/school interactions.
Sounds like “We Need To Talk About Kevin”
Who else does Alex spend time with? If he’s not getting this from a screen, he’s getting it from someone near him. A 6 year old doesn’t naturally have the vocabulary to say they will “stab you until you die” and then refer to it as their “funny joke.” They learn it from someone else. Are you sure that your friends are not fighting in front of him?
Otherwise your friends need to take a long hard look at who their child is spending time around and not just at daycare. My gut is that he is either spending time with another child who is teaching him these things or with an extended family member who is exposing him to these ideas and encouraging his behavior. They need to figure out who it is and cut contact, even if it’s his grandpa.
Yep, he had to learn the words and ideas somewhere. Especially if he started using violent language at two and a half. Why did a 2.5year old even know how to call someone stupid, dumb, or ugly? He heard it from somewhere. Either someone in the kid’s life doesn’t understand they’re negatively influencing him, or someone in his life is straight up abusive.
Even if he was predisposed to this behavior, that would be a chemical imbalance in his brain that would need some form of medical attention, it wouldn’t make the kid evil. But an imbalance in the brain won’t magically teach a kid socially popular insults, he still would’ve learned them from a bad influence.
I used to teach, and one kid with diagnosed autism and adhd was always called evil by one of the aftercare teachers just because he did have some minor spiteful and violent tendencies. The fact that this adult woman would treat him that way would slowly wear him down and make him behave worse.
He one time asked me if he really was evil, because he was sad and didn’t want to be. It broke my heart. I got to know him because I was his personal aid and have seen him display emotions like empathy and protectiveness over the one physically disabled child in our class. He just needed extra help. But every time that horrible woman treated him like he was a monster, it became a self fulfilling prophecy
Edit: clarity
Exactly- YOR or lying OP.
By far the best answer
NOR but you are using harmful terminology. Calling a 3-year-old evil isn't helping anything or anyone.
That said, this has to be learned behavior. It has to come from somewhere. Tots don't just oneday start saying the word stupid or ugly without having heard it from somewhere. Generally, they apply that word in the same way that the people they've heard it from apply it, and quite frequently they use the same target. Do with that information what you will.
YOR
Kids dont conjure up words and phrases out of nowhere.
So either 1. He is hearing phrases like fat bitch at home. Or 2. The devil has decided hes gonna whisper swears to this random kid
Parents lie. Parents cover their tracks. Parents pretend to be doing more than they actually are, Parents pretend to do less than they are.
Im not saying your friends are bad parents but I would bet money the husband uses colorful and demeaning language toward the mom, especially since much of yhe Kids ire is directed at women.
This was my first thought. A 2.5 year old absolutely didn’t make up calling his mum ugly!!
I think it is obvious he has heard the phases, and that is normal. The first ones he could even get them from children books (like the Ugly duckling). And then things overheard at kindergarten, supermarket, a movie playing in the background etc. It doesn't mean that the parents speak to each other or to the child this way.
The child could have a conduct disorder, which can occur in children in healthy homes without any verbal or physical abuse.
Some people are born sociopaths. I know it's hard to accept, most people want to blame the parents. I have no idea if that's what is going on in this case, but it absolutely does happen. I feel really sorry for parents in that situation.
Maybe kid is a psycho. They are real and rare but unfortunately it happens.
He's six and in daycare but no school?
Yeah that's what I find weird too.
Other comments have spotted that this sounds like the movie We need to talk about Kevin.
Not completely sure but I can see this being fake and just a story made up.
Describing a 2 year old as “he didn’t talk much” is so funny. You mean you didn’t have meaningful fluent conversations with a baby? Weird.
I did not start talking until I was three. I was brought to the doctor's because my family thought something was wrong. I was fine, just did not talk.
I love that that’s what you decided to focus on
calling a child evil is a bit... most definitely has behavioral issues and should be seen by someone but youre making it seem like hes possessed by some evil entity 😭
edit: getting downvoted for saying a mentally ill person should get help is such a reddit thing, im sure all of you are smart enough to know the kid didnt make a conscious choice to be like this
No, Stan. This is not such a reddit thing. Lol They're obviously downvoting you for another reason. Think again
right...the people who are commenting and believing that this child is ACTUALLY possesed
are downvoting me for rational reasons
You can be an evil sociopath.
still a mental illness, im sure the little guy didnt ASK to be a sociopath, he should be diagnosed and treated and not ridiculed by people on the internet.
NOR. My nephew was just like this. He was treated with some bipolar meds for a while but it’s hard to know if that would have helped, because my sister unfortunately is not a good parent. She shuts down with stress so the difficult child led to a cycle of neglect and emotional abuse and escalating behaviors on his side. I had to keep my daughter away from him because we were genuinely in fear for all of our safety.
Surprisingly, even with pretty much the worst possible handling of his behaviors, he is now 18 and has greatly improved particularly in the last few years. He is nowhere near regular functioning, but I feel like your friend’s son could really improve with some intervention if he’s truly struggling with the same issue.
YOR in that the kid obviously has some kind of severe mental illness. "Evil" is a very limiting, superstitious and childish way to look at a complex situation. It's like saying he's that way because a witch cursed him.
OED defines evil as "the opposite of good, representing sin, cruelty, or anything causing profound suffering, often contrasted with divine or natural goodness, and can describe wicked people, harmful acts, or even physical misfortune".
Witches delight not OED.
No, nor curses neither.
What is evil, if not malicious intent?
A question for priests and philosophers.
Well, for one, as a society we rightly don't try children as adults because we recognize that they are not yet fully cognitively, emotionally, socially, or intellectually developed. Children can have behaviors that resemble "evil," but similar to a dog or a person with a severe mental illness, (which this kid also likely has,) they're not fully culpable for their behavior. Furthermore, as a part of their development, their behavior is typically them mirroring someone else's behavior. Children who witness or experience verbal abuse, for example, are likely to be verbally abusive in their childhood.
Then there's the whole philosophical piece of what "evil" even is to any one person. Is it a religious or cosmic constant that can be discretely identified as a specific state of being? Is it how we describe the most severe antisocial behaviors? Is a hurricane evil? Is "evil" whatever behavior breaches the law or social customs? Depending on which version you mean, it could be more or less valid to call a child "evil."
I land on the side of, "children are not evil. They can be dicks. This one needs help, though a sympathise with how hard it is for all the people around him."
NOR. Although, realistically your boyfriend has no actual idea of what is going on inside 4 walls, he only knows what Mitch and Diana show him.
This kid presents signs of ASPD that need to be accompanied as soon as possible. He is clearly struggling to regulate his impulses, anger and annoyance. Many kids might have some of these violent displays as they learn emotional regulation, but it starting at 2.5 years old and still being happening at 6 does not look good.
It could be that he is indeed imitating abuse that he either experienced or witnessed.
Could also be both ASPD and abuse, since ASPD can be developed through traumatic experiences.
I do find it odd* that the psychiatrist could not help. I would believe a psychiatrist would be able to somehow help. Hopefully the next one is able to do something. Does raise the question if the last psychiatrist raised the "abuse" question and D&M backed out of the psychiatry for "precaution"
Sounds like they need an exorcism
Did they try an exorcist?
This might be an odd question- but did they move home around the time this behaviour started?
Huh? Where is this leading?
I knew a kid like this. His family was fine. Not perfect, but fine. He was a nasty little piece of work. Terrified my kids until I couldn't have him and his mum (an old friend of mine) around. Killed our fish. He just took pleasure from his behaviour. He was also possibly the mist intelligent child i ever met - not sure if that's a factor. No idea where he us now, 25 years later...
Check dateline just to be sure.
yes....?
Don’t mind them, it’s just how the British are.
There had to be some form of abuse that occurred that changed him
That’s not true. Sociopathic traits vary and while abuse can worsen them and in some causes cause them, there are some children that appear to be born with a very high load out of the gate.
No, there doesn't have to be.
"Someone made him this way" is very dangerous thinking.
No
That's the kind of thinking that puts innocent people in prison.
Nah, some people just get wired wrong.
Never allow him close to an animal.
Disagree. A dog or kitty might actually help the kid see the positive side to life. I'd get him a pet.
He's talking about wanting to severely harm and kill people. What do we think he'll do to a pet?
This child clearly shows signs of some sort of psychopathy and is very likely to harm animals
Are you nuts?! Thats a horrible idea and very unfair to any pet theyd get if he started hurting it.
i wish i could upvote this a thousand times
Same, so i upvoted you both instead!
This kid sounds like my older brother.
NOR.. But something is definitely not right here. There is a few things that come to mind and frankly, none of them are good.
1) Assuming you DO have the full picture of it all, sociopathy at such an early stage and age.. 2) Assuming you DON’T have the full picture of it all, abuse in the home or elsewhere he regularly goes or a specific abusive individual who comes around often.
Regardless, this type of behavior and his level of aggression and want to be violent WILL escalate and honestly it wouldn’t shock me that within the next 2-4 years he will be harming animals. As close as you may be to this family, I think you need to call CPS to open an investigation JUST ON THE SAFE SIDE to check the home for anything that may be giving the child these violent ideas…. And see what CPS recommends in terms of investigating other areas such as his daycare and if they have one, a babysitter or regularly around friends or family.
At that age, it 100% has to be an influence from SOMEONE or SOMETHING because that child is at the absolute sponge stage where he’s absorbing every little thing around him and if he’s truly so limited and monitored, there is absolutely no way this child will know over half of the things he has come to say. Where did he learn most of the things he has? The word bitch? Is that regularly used around him? And how about all the insults? This is the most concerning bit that makes me lean toward abuse in the home.
It's kind of absurd how few people have made this point. As the story goes on the kid's behavior sounds a bit more pathological, but from jump, when I read that he spontaneously started calling his mom ugly, my first thought was, "he sees the dad talk to her like that when no one else is around." It's not outside the realm of possibility that this behavioral trend was instigated by an abusive environment, and has since morphed into attention seeking since it gets such a rise out of people.
Could this be Tourettes?
no this is not tourette’s. this is not a child experiencing tics, this is a child deliberately and consciously threatening others.
You don't seem to ACTUALLY be familiar with Touretts
What's your qualification for this remark?
It doesn’t usually include aggressive impulses at all
The word usually is doing some heavy lifting there.
No.
I don’t exactly see how it could be, if that were the case I don’t think it would be only insults repeated; though either way if it’s apart of the situation that points to a much larger issue because tics come about typically from hearing it at least once in some way.. abuse in the home likely
I agree, I think it's unlikely but the "fat bitch" comment at the checkout sounded like it, and I thought perhaps they've got it to a degree that doesn't manifest in the typical behaviour we expect to see with Tourette's. It hadn't been mentioned so I thought I'd throw it out there for consideration by OP.
I'm wondering where he even learned that word at his age tbh, especially if he has no screen time
It’s a good and different perspective for sure, I’m sure exploring any route to what it potentially could be stemming from is welcomed by OP and the parents🤔
Did they check under his hair for 3 sixes? Damn kid sounds like Damien from the Omen. They're raising a lil antichrist
Damien was smart enough to never verbally threaten people.
He’s almost 6 and in daycare instead of school?
Many countries start the first year of school at 6 and/or it is common to delay for a child with behavioral issues.
Many kids, especially boys, are not ready for kindergarten at 5. There's no harm in waiting until six.
Bad Seed
Has he ever actually laid hands on someone, or is it just threats and insults??
Is there any kind of pattern with when he says these things, or who he says them to?? Does he say these kinds of things more when he’s angry?? Is it possible that he says these things to get attention?? Or to get people to leave him alone??
Where did he learn those words?? You said they restricted his screen time and don’t use harsh or violent language around him. Do they monitor what he watches on TV, or check the contents of books before giving them to him?? Heck, is it possible that they watch anything on TV that he might have overheard such things from?? Doesn’t have to be movies, it could be the news(or even music). I learned a lot of age-unfriendly things as a kid from eavesdropping on my parents watching the news and reading the newspapers at my grandparents’ house. He might have been doing that, or reading inappropriate things at the library, or reading magazines in waiting rooms or something like that. Or overheard it at day care, or while in a store or at the park or any number of other places.
When did he start attending day care?? Did he start acting out more after he started day care??
Around the time this behavior started, had there been any major changes in his life, like moving??
Even being out in public & hearing strangers talk, that pair of ears picked up those words.
So it's not limited to just family, daycare & whatnot.
This 6 yr old is turning himself into a monster that his own parents going to be afraid of.
A factor of what he might be hearing his television and radio. All the person has to do is watch the news and a lot of people have complained that once the fairness doctrine stopped people became very rude and aggressive on all news shows and most adults accept it as normal.
I'm pretty sure she said it started as a toddler (2 & a half) who I'm sure couldn't read just yet!😉
I could read at that age. It’s not impossible. But they also said that this behavior is still ongoing and what he’s said has changed over time.
NOR I feel like the only 2 things that make sense are either parents being abusive to each other (or if it's only directed at his mother, maybe the father is the one doing it) and/or they're letting him sit around with an iPad watching whatever tf he wants on youtube. My best guess would be the latter
this is beyond the 'ipad kid' explanation, kid may be a born sociopath
Some kids are just born bad you know! Some bad kids have perfectly lovely parents who tried literally everything to help them to no avail! You can't always blame the parents! Well not in the case of kids born with personality disorders!
Please keep in mind that schizophrenia and sociopathy are very different things. The child here is displaying sociopathic behavior, rather than schizophrenic behavior. I wish the parents good luck 👍
Displaying signs of antisocial personality disorder, which is generally diagnosed as a conduct disorder in people under 18 because some grow out of these traits
NOR - but, I would strongly lean toward some kind of habitual abuse happening in the home. You may think you know people but especially with narcissists, outsiders frequently are completely fooled. He had to learn this violence and those words somewhere. A two year old doesn’t inherently know insults. The fact that he STARTED to disrespect his mother shows me that disrespect towards his mother is modeled in his home - that’s the norm. I’d suspect the father. Hate to say it but it’s logical.
I was thinking could be just neglect of attention. If he learned that those words get a quick response and always get him some form of attention/ make people stop and pay attention to him.
Could also just be someone on the autism spectrum. I wouldn’t immediately think child abuse
This indeed or maybe have a brain scan done….sounds extreme but it could maybe a tumor or brain abnormality?
the worst i ever treated my mom was like a three day span where i learned she had a name other than mom and insisted on calling her that, until she cried and i realized it hurt her feelings
My son is 8 and has violent meltdowns and is on 4 different meds that help but once inawhile he still has one. He has adhd/autism but has above average intelligence so he doesnt understand being a kid with rules. Its really weird but he started getting really violent meltdowns in daycare around age 5. Not sure what it is totally but I can see in his eyes that his frontal cortex is shut down during those meltdowns, like nothing helps until his body calms down, its like an extreme panic response with adrenaline and everything. The post made me really sad because the kid obviously has something going on if not environmental directly. I grew up in severe abuse so my sons behavior scared and confused me because he didnt go through what i did n I had behaviors like his younger too. So I teach him buddhism and he takes meds and over time it has been improving. Delayed development for coping until meds to keep the frontal lobe online to learn coping skills. Day by day, sweet kid but his issues have absolutely been heavy on me since I have autism too.
… let me assure you it’s not a symptom I had, or anyone else I know with autism.
I had violent meltdowns as a kid and my son is 8 and does as well
That doesn’t rule it out, at all. I’m autistic, low empathy and I’ve been hotheaded since I was a little kid, and I was an early reader and frequent eavesdropper who knew about a lot of very age-inappropriate subjects. Starting around the time I was 3, I would tell people all kinds of horrible things for any number of reasons. To get them to leave me alone, or to get them to pay attention to me. To scare them into respecting me more(which, unsurprisingly, didn’t work). Sometimes it was just because I got an adrenaline rush out of saying things that I knew I shouldn’t.
Bf has assured me that to the best of his knowledge that Dad isn’t that kind of person. But what you said is true, it could be a totally different story when they’re alone. I’m just hoping it’s not the case
The most likely issue is the kid has a neurodevelopmental disorder like adhd or autism or combo of both. He sounds like my son at age 5 to 6 and now he is 8 and improving on meds, autism accommodations, and home adjustments. It also improved with age on meds as the kids frontal lobe basically goes offline in a deep panic state, so it delays development and affects emotional regulation and feelings of security. Imagine an panic attack with fight response x2 because of the delayed development. Its totally separate from intelligence or iq too. My son also has celiac and kids can go into a fight response from histamine and adrenaline. Its worth getting thw kid allergy tested and tested for celiac or vitamin deficiencies. Health causes or neurodevelopmental causes (often both) are the primary suspects for that kid based on the information.
Unfortunately, as someone who has been through DV and supported many other women in DV, the man’s friends rarely catch on or suspect their friend of that behavior.
I have a violent mind, i do not mind when people cant control being violent because they cant control it. But for such a young age, children saying that is NOT okay, check what hes been watching or check if there's any signs of if people have encouraged him to be so evil. Overall i hope the kid gets better and stops being so rude.
I really do hope that he can turn around. Like I mentioned he is so so smart, and has so much potential to be a successful kid
I hope too. I think he will grow up to be less violent but overall i hope he becomes a successful kid with less problems.
The more I read it the more I see that it must be fake. He is still in daycare at 6 years old?
Daycares here go up to 11/12 years old. Mom and Dad both have jobs and so do the grandparents. He has to go somewhere when he isn’t in school
Okay, but you only mention his daycare. It was the daycare teacher says this. Daycare teacher assures them. Hes on thin ice at daycare.
And no mention of his school and actual teacher. That's not likely.
Considering his behavior, his parents might be waiting to put him in school, or considering a specialized school. It's not out of the realm of possibility; my ex's sister didn't graduate kindergarten until she was 7. Started late and was held back because she was deemed to not be on the same maturity level as her peers. The teacher thought it would have been cruel to let her move on to 1st grade.
Because a good majority of the past issues leading up to now have happened at home, with family, and at daycare. He just started kindergarten this year (2025) in September. Average age to begin kindergarten here is 5/6. He’s had problems there as well but so far nothing compared to his usual (that I know of) that needed to be put in my post
Not a doctor, but I think it sounds like ODD or a similar neurodevelopmental issue. Surprised that he is not receiving care, in my country he would be assessed (though it does take long and they prefer to wait until age 7 or so with ADHD and similar diagnoses).
You are not overreacting because you are not reacting, this is just a story you told, maybe not the best sub for this as you will get much sharper opinions than in parenting/mental health related subreddits.
Are parents strict or scared? Like are they trying to be realllllyyy gentle with him because they think he just needs more love?
They’ve been pretty strict with him. My friend has cried to me a handful of times that she’s worried that they’re being too harsh. (I don’t think they are, but I imagine it’s difficult to have to discipline your kid so hard all the time)
What does strict look like for them?
I mean, I’m not always around when they’re dealing with his behaviours. I know for a fact that they make him apologize every time something is said. Just about every day they talk with him about how to speak with others and why the things he says aren’t okay. He had his last birthday party cancelled because he was told that he couldn’t have it if he wasn’t kind to others. We’ve left stores and events that he wanted to be a part of when he can’t behave
[removed]
Yeah teach a kid that violence is how you fix problems. Plenty of studies put there that prove hitting and spanking do nothing beneficial to teach children.
Child abuse doesn't fix anything, and especially not with kids who show signs of violence.
This is actually like the worst type of kid to try and beat. I wouldn't suggest beating *any* kid, but beating a kid like this is how you make him even more violent/cruel even faster.
This is really no laughing matter. This child is starting to exhibit symptoms of some sort of mental illness. Schizophrenia and sociopath readily come to mind… hopefully he has not yet developed a taste for hurting animals which many serial killers exhibit. Many of the more well known serial killers and rapists exhibited these anti social behaviors when just small children. It’s really not a joke and should be taken very seriously.
They have two cats and Alex has never expressed wanting to hurt them. He actually really loves his kitties
Nothing at all in this post says “schizophrenia” to me.
Well great for you! As the grandmother of a grandchild with diagnosed sociopathy sounds all too familiar. As a former nurse have also seen this from children who were very mentally ill as adults.
Those are two different words, you know.
schizophrenia is far from being a sociopath
Is your grandchild an adult?
how does being the grandmother of a sociopath have any relevance on your knowledge of schizophrenia?
It is extremely uncommon for schizophrenia to appear in children under the age of 12, and the earliest signs include paranoia, anxiety, mood swings, preoccupations, and social withdrawal. Early signs of sociopathy almost always appear before the age of 12 and include lying, lack of remorse, manipulation, bullying, lack of impulse control, and fantasies or acts of harm against animals or other people. She did not describe any behavior that falls into that first bucket. I’m not sure how your personal experience with SOCIOPATHY made you feel like it was reasonable to suggest SCHIZOPHRENIA, but I’m sorry your grandchild is experiencing those difficulties.
I agree! Sociopathy or psychopathy is my guess! I've watched many programs & read up on the subject! Kids can be born with them or trauma in their childhood can cause them! I think she needs to broach the subject with her friends but go easy cos it's not exactly an easy thing to hear about your own child! Maybe find some articles & books for them to read! That's what I'd do in the beginning anyway!
>Dina and Mitch were already at their wits end trying to figure out what was going on with Alex. He had extremely limited and completely supervised screen-time, neither of them spoke in such a way around him in any context, and his teachers at daycare had assured that they didn’t allow the kids to speak or play violently.
It's fucked up, but part of me wants to say it's karma for the parents being so stupid and thinking the above would have anything to do with what's happening anyways. LOL
Some kids are just what we would call, for a lack of a better term, "Evil" just like some kids are complete sweeties.
They low rolled.
Parenting has A LOT to do with it. No kid has 'fat bitch' encoded in their DNA. They had to pick it up from somewhere.
It really doesn't.
All the research we have shows that you're not really influencing your kid much as a person unless you're literally abusing them.
That's rubbish!
What research would that be? I do believe kids have inherent traits, but you can shape a kid a lot by how you guide them and work with those traits.
As middle school teacher, I've literally seen my students change based on whether their parents change their parenting style or not.
Most of the personality traits in my students match up with parenting style. A kid who doesnt get anything done and talks back to teachers almost always has a parent who argues that the teacher must have done something wrong.
A kid who comes in to make up a poor score on a quiz has a parent who comes to every single parent night and wants to know if their child is doing everything they can to learn, even though their kid already has straight As.
I once had a kid who was a sociopathic nightmare. Dad would come to every parent night and ask what he can do to help his son. I said, "Take the phone away when his grades drop below a B" his response? "But he gets very angry and sad when I do that. What else can I do?" Nice parent, but crap follow through. His parent isn't modeling the sociopathic behavior but he was teaching his son that the behaviors works.
Every single time a parent of a struggling kid actually changed their parenting style and stayed consistent, the kid always become more enjoyable to be around.
But for real, let me see that research. My anecdotal experience only goes so far.
This is just you trying to map on things you observe. It's a very common tendency we have.
>Most of the personality traits in my students match up with parenting style. A kid who doesnt get anything done and talks back to teachers almost always has a parent who argues that the teacher must have done something wrong.
Your proving my point right here. The kid just has a similar *personality* to his parents (very common), but there's nothing about the parenting 'style' that influenced this. This is why trouble kids like this still have majors issues when they go live with an aunt/uncle/family friend, etc.
At best, having a structured home life can prevent certain things from happening *at that time*, but that' about it. For example, you can invest an inordinate amount of resources to in essence 'lock down' your teen and 'forcing' them to do homework or whatever. This *seems* like a victory, but it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things because you're not changing their mentality, which is the only way you produce real, lasting change. But not only that, most of the time it doesn't even truly result in victory. You can't *actually* force someone to do anything, even under threat of physical violence sometimes, let alone silly punishments.
>I once had a kid who was a sociopathic nightmare. Dad would come to every parent night and ask what he can do to help his son. I said, "Take the phone away when his grades drop below a B" his response? "But he gets very angry and sad when I do that. What else can I do?" Nice parent, but crap follow through. His parent isn't modeling the sociopathic behavior but he was teaching his son that the behaviors works.
This is exactly what I mean by the above. In this particular case, the kids personality is a bit divergent, but again this isn't a true 'exception' to the rule as there's no perfect rules.
Let's run through this scenario a priori, we don't even need any data or anything like that immediately see the problem.
Kid doesn't wanna do homework/study and wants to do X instead. Now in this example, we're going with your sociopath, because sure a lot of kids might not 'want' to study/do homework but they understand their parents want what's best for them and they'll at least try and put some level of effort forth. This is NOT the case in your situation here. Let's say he's a full blown sociopath/uncooperative.
1.) He blows off his homework and goes to do whatever he wants to do.
2.) Parent tells him he's going to ground him/take away his phone/games/computer/etc if he doesn't get his grades up.
3.) He doesn't WANT to get his grades up AT ALL. So what is he going to do? He's just going to make your life a living hell until you cave. Why? Because to him, that is preferable to getting his grades up.
But lets say you don't cave? What does he do?
4.) He KEEPS terrorizing you, CONSTANTLY. It does not matter what you take away from him. There is no bargaining.
You see how this is not normal behavior right? He would RATHER go without than do the tradeoff. Kids like this don't 'give in and do homework'. They get MORE destructive the more you take away.
The strategy your referring to works to some degree with normal kids because the see some value in the tradeoffs being presented. Whether it be their personality type causes them to want to be serve their parents, or maybe they just *really* want to play that game or whatever it is, it situational, etc.
But even in the above scenario they're not *really* benefiting by doing your assignments. They're not *failing*, which technically is better in the sense that if they drop out of HS it might affect their employment opportunities, but realistically, your not changing anything about the kids personality. They are just doing what they're doing because they see value in that particular tradeoff. They're not truly 'learning' anything.
Being a parent mostly has to do with curating opportunities for your kids. So obviously, you can do things on that front. Like, it's still an advantage to be born into a wealthy, well connected family, things like that, etc. But not in the sense that they are going to be able to instill any particular sense of value into you.
Read the "Blank Slate" by Steven Pinker. There's a segment of the book in particular about children complete with references.
Still no sources. 👍
There are so many things wrong with what you said that I don’t even know where to begin.
Not at all.
Realistically what happens is that all of the fuck ups you're around in HS end up getting jobs because we simply have a continual need for people to do work, especially entry level work since there's so much turnover there.
So yeah, most of these people 'turn out okay' by most people's standards, but that doesn't mean parenting or schooling really imprinted anything of meaningful value upon them. At best they've adapted to the realities of adult life, but that doesn't mean they're not still idiots, etc.
Even a bunch of the people that land good jobs or whatever and have access to more money, it's the same story. Whatever they were in HS they're pretty much the same thing.
Point being the parenting style doesn't really matter. It's just more important that you have someone there who's acting reasonably like an adult. Someone who is going to keep you safe, feed you, instilling basic hygiene habits.
So it's not that kids could survive with *no* parents, more just that the *type* of things parents think they impact they often don't
I feel bad for saying but “low rolled” for sure
This is honestly my biggest fear with having kids and probably why I won't have any. People tend to think how you raise you kids matters a lot, but most of it is their genetics as well as their socialization, which you have much less control over.
Their are kids like this that are 'born bad' and it's basically going to be a life long project to ensure he doesn't do some heinous shit, even then no guarantees.
I genuinely do feel bad for them.
There’s some messed up stuff on the internet that kids can come across when unsupervised. Even on YouTube Kids. But that and the other two were just things considered when initially trying to figure out why this kid was becoming so violent
Having a sociopathic son is “karma” for a mistaken parenting belief about screentime? Please think about what you say next time.
It's more just because these people seem to be the annoying type of people that thing how you raise you kids matter, which is really doesn't unless your straight up abusing them.
And the punisment for that partially-wrong belief (it matters, but only to a certain extent) should be a severely mentally ill child?
I wasn't being serious obviously, but people like that are just really annoying. They were probably the type that have always thought how they raise their kid matters, etc.
I went through a phase like this , genuinely seemed psychotic or sociopathic but I was being abused.
Where does a two year old learn all those insults? Those concepts aren’t inherent , you shoulda made the kid older for that part or scrapped it entirely
It doesn't scream learnt insults to me, because according to the story he started insulting people from the time he started speaking, at each age at his own level, 2 year old = ugly, 4 year old = I want you to get hurt, 6 year old = fat bitch.
It's enough for a kid to hear these terms one time on the street/tv/random adult if he is purposely collecting these phrases.
If everything is true as written here, this sounds like a disorder, not a parenting issue.
Surely it would manifest with physical lashing out before the child was verbal? Babies without disorders can be vicious, some disorders cause infants to compulsively self harm etc.
First word is understanding the concept of ugly?
It just feels like a spooky stories writing prompt
Yep that's what I was thinking too. Kids that young don't inherently know about violence unless they have been exposed to it. And we don't always know what goes on behind closed doors so OP doesn't KNOW that the parents aren't like that lol. If they are, they're not going to show it!
I hope that I know his parents well enough to say that it’s not getting ugly behind closed doors like that. Truly I’ll never know but we have discussed ways to have an investigation done on the daycare centre. It’s extremely unlikely to happen but we’re suspicious
Hopefully you do but yeah truth is usually when kids start to exhibit violence disproportionately like that the first suspicion is about what's going on at home. Then move onto other people. Then when all that is ruled out that's when you'd start to consider mental illnesses.
That was a whole part of the confusion though. No one could figure out WHY he began to say that stuff. Our only theory is that the daycare had things go on/be said that D&M weren’t told about
So all this behaviour started when he first went to daycare at age 2 ?
Why does this read like a weird teen book?
Seems like AI
Has ever caused a massive pile up or drowned his brother? If not I wouldn't worry
My first thought was "it's The Good Son!"
Lmaoo. No brother to drown but if there was one I’d prob be worried about it tbh
It might end up being nothing, my younger brother went through a phase where he was always threatening to kill people or shoot them. It sounds like it's a good thing that they're trying to get him help.
Everyone is def praying that he’ll grow out of it. I’ve told my friend before that maybe once he’s older he’ll realize the gravity of what he’s saying
I wouldn't be surprised if that's what happens, I can't imagine he really understands what he's saying. I am sure they're keeping him away from any kind of violent content, right?
Absolutely as much as they are capable. There’s no control to what happens/what he hears at daycare or kindergarten but otherwise everything is taken into consideration. Games, toys, books, etc
The Good Son was a wild movie alright. Gotta love the 90's.
Never seen but I’m guessing it’s a story of a similar situation?
Yep, sociopathic child, slightly older than your friends' son played brilliantly by Macauly Culkin. It's referenced above by the person saying not to worry unless he's caused a vehicle pile up or drowned his brother.
How about The Omen? Or the many sequels there after?
My bf and I are going to hell fs but we’ve joked that his name should’ve been Damian