My friend thought she was asexual for 23 years of her life. She is now married to the love of her life. Sometimes it just does happen out of nowhere.

You're not weird. You're smart. There's no real point in jumping into relationships with people who don't interest you. It's true that many people get into and out of relationships often and starting at an early age these days. Other than potentially gaining some experience in relationships what mostly comes from it is negatives.

The best advice I have to offer with probably sound tired but it's true. Be yourself, be true to what you want and what you believe. I'm this way when you do meet someone and you have a good feeling about them you'll have a much better chance of success. You didn't have to settle and you don't have to compromise. You do have to be open to meeting someone when you least expect it. Could be someone at work or at some place or event that you go to. And it only takes one person, if that person is the right one. In the dating world, finding quality options is better than quantity of options.

I was your age when i got into a real relationship, felt just like you beforehand, I can say that in hindsight I didn’t realise how good I had it and it’s been a battle of healing ever since, grass may seem greener but it’s just grass.

Yeah I remember feeling that way too when I was 22

But I will never give up the hope on finding my soulmate at 28

Everyone's different, and that's okay. Take things at your own pace. I'm a female (33 years old right now) who was never interested in dating until after I finished high school and college! I started DATING when I was 23! Dating. Not even finding the right person or getting married. Literally dating. I have very high standards for men as well. I didn't find the right guy until my late 20's because a lot of men are arrogant, annoying, sub-par, boring, or just don't have the right vibe. I finally found someone right for me on a dating app, and got married at age 32! Don't rush! You have a lot of time.

Don’t compare your love life to other people’s love life. The ways in which people are different are endless and just not comparable. It sounds to me like you are expressing this hopelessness because you haven’t talked to or met a lot of men that you were able to connect with, and who showed you they could exhibit similar values. Some people don’t even feel attraction towards people until they get close, and if you’re not exploring what this means to you it just hasn’t happened yet. I strongly believe there’s someone for everyone it’s just a matter of finding someone compatible in an age of complicated dating. I say either try to meet people naturally through hobbies or going out, or try the dating apps just to explore what interests you. You’re young asf you will find love in your lifetime. I also want to point out that the internet and social media exacerbates relationship issues and makes it seem like there’s less good people out there than there really are.

You’re so young. There’s so much time for all of the relationship nonsense. Enjoy life! Mature some more, get to know yourself better, and things will work out.

There is nothing wrong with you at all. It sounds like you’ve got a pretty solid perspective on longterm relationships, and not a lot of people your age have caught up to that point yet. But they are out there, maybe just figuring their own shit out! Keep putting yourself out there to meet others (and yeah, it might take years. But you want it to be something concrete that lasts.) and the one who checks your boxes will come. ❤️

Same for me, except im 26... When I first started wanting a partner I would quickly develop a crush on most girls, but after getting to know many of them, I realized that almost none of them have the characteristics or personality I'm looking for... And since I've never been in a relationship, I'm worried I will never find a good partner for me... :(

Sorry I couldn't give you any advice

Smh. You’re 22 with a lot of life ahead of you. You’ll be fine. Your brain isn’t even fully developed yet so don’t worry

You’re blinded by the wrong people

You realise you’ve only lived a quarter of your life if that ? And only 4 of those years have been actually dating.

Relax, you’re not weird, I’ll put your mind at ease. Some people go years of their lives without being with anybody whether it’s romantically or casually and then all of a sudden they meet the love of their lives.

You are most definitely not weird, I’m 22 myself and I’ve been on a few dates before but I’ve only had one real relationship which only lasted half a year when I was 20 going on 21 and before that I never had a girlfriend before that whilst all my peers had one through school or met them in college then there were some who had two or three already. It varies who stayed together and who didn’t and I only knew one other guy in the same boat as me in high school.

People my age already has many exes and years of relationship.

The ones with loads of exes are that way either because their type are problematic or they’re not learning from past mistakes with their relationships and keep repeating them or they’re only out for a quick shag.

I admittedly feel envious of my peers who have been in relationships for 5 or so years now whilst I’ve been single officially for the last near two years. Heck some are engaged but I do understand they’ve been in the relationship for years.

Back to the point no, you are not weird. It’s perfectly normal for people our age to be single now, it would be hugely problematic if you were in a bad relationship because you just want one as it could lead to worse things like heartbreak, emotional trauma, single motherhood it’s way better you wait until you meet someone you really like and you obviously got to make a move.

Sweetheart, you’re 22 years old! Don’t rush it. You have your whole life ahead of you. God bless.

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You are blessed because you have not been hurt. You mess around with anyone and you will be hurt. That’s a fact of life and better to get some dogs and cats.

Insert toy story gif clone copies

Similar. I rarely have crushes/ attraction. The last guy I did have a crush on quickly revealed himself to be low on ethics. It was so disappointing. You’re still young so keep your head up and stick to your guns. I want no part of the current, prevalent value system.

Earlier this year I gave up on ever finding love. And then, out of nowhere I met someone and am happier than ever. This is my first relationship and I'm 35. Don't worry about it too much. I've found that worrying about it will only hold you back.

There's other forms of sexuality and intimacy than the cultural crazy fall into attraction crush.

Demisexual, asexual, and many others. Wish I knew that when I was younger, it would have taken a lot of mental pressure off of me.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Worry about yourself and not other people. If you're happy be happy. It's okay to have your own set of standards. There's no one way to navigate this world.

Maybe you will end up single forever but that shouldn't bother you. It sounds like you feel like you need to do something about it when you don't. People are different.

Stick to your standards/values or you will end up miserable.

Its not so bad. After work you dont have to talk to anyone, and it is complete bliss.

You’re 22. I promise you have all the time in the world to find someone.

Same girl. I am 23, and although I don't actively seek a relationship, there are times I wish I had someone. 🙂

You're not weird. You will be single until you decide it's time to not be and take the steps to change that. Alexa play Jimmy Eat World "The Middle."

So you are saying you will never find anyone because you haven't been with guys who do nothing for you? Keep looking. You are only 22. Now, eventually you may have to change, lower your standards a bit. Find a guy who has most of what you are looking for, but that is down the road. That said, think about where you might find guys like this. "Market" yourself. As an example, if you are looking for a guy who wants to wait till marriage hang around church not the club. Or hell hang around anywhere if you are just going to work and sitting home. Where do you think guys who think like you think are? Do your friends and family know the kind of guy you are looking for?

You got a lot of good advice. I just wanted to say that I met my SO here on Reddit and moved across the whole US to be with him because he had qualities I couldn’t find in any of the men where I lived. We met because we were both trying to help people in the same sub.

It’s really a matter if “does being single forever actually bother you?” Glossing over your age and what your standards may be. If you’re alone at 80 do you actually care? Spent your life doing other things, you don’t need to spend it finding a husband. You could become a dive instructor 🤿 or an anthropologist. Think about what makes you happy and try to do whatever that is more often

I had my first GF at 23m, she broke up with me on my Bday one year later. I met my fiance at 26, now I’m 28 and I am married to the love of my life.

Love your self, improve yourself and learn what makes you happy. This helped me.

No, you aren’t weird. It took me finding someone from a different country. Or him finding me rather as I’d stopped thinking about being with anyone. The right person can come when you least expect it and there is someone who will match you and what you want. Speaking from experience because I had a list of character qualities I wanted along with having that feeling. I say just don’t worry about it, focus on your life and what you want to accomplish for now, you’re young and have all the time. Also, you are never too old to find your person. ❤️

You’re too young to be thinking like that. That isn’t to say pursue every possibility of romance but to focus on yourself and be open to being surprised. Keep your standards as they are with a bit of grace and let the chips fall where they may. Having standards is one of the best ways to ensure your happiness in whatever way it comes to be fulfilled.

I'm 22yo too and I get that, I feel lonely everyday and I've never kissed someone. I don't even have real friends.

Welp maybe thats a sign to lower standards are die alone

What are those characteristics and values you’re looking for ?

Literally make a list of the attributes you are looking for. Be specific. This focuses your attention and you will start to see potential partners. Then be willing to go on dates.

Some people will seem perfect. They aren’t. There’s no such thing.

Some people will seem flawed. They could actually be perfect for you. You won’t know if you don’t get some dating experience.

If you find someone who meets 80% of your criteria, give it some time. Any better than 80% is an illusion.

Even then nothing is guaranteed other than that you will not gain experience if you only watch from the outside.

You're far too young to make any "forever" predictions/ assumptions. I probably thought like that until I met the love of my life aged 30. DON'T rush in early and get divorced at 25. Our brains only fully form aged about 33.

I was very similar to you. I thought I would never find my someone either. I was very much a loner. Had been raised around verbal and emotional abuse from a Father and Stepfather, and seeing my Mother physically abused as well. I frankly, was scared of relationships, because of the things I had seen growing up. I first met my husband when I was 22 years old, but I would have nothing to do with him. He would try to talk to me when he came in my place of work, and I would turn go the other way.😅 Then two and a half years later, I was praying, like I had always had done since I was twelve to meet the right one. I kid you not, I had not seen him in six weeks, had not even thought about him, and dreamed I was marrying him. I went into work the next morning, and was telling a co-worker about this, and she thought I was making it up, because he was to come back in that day!😳 Long story short, we ended up going on a double date that weekend. I worked with his cousin, and she and her new boyfriend, and him and I went on a double date. Anyway, we got engaged 3 months later, and married 3 months after our engagement, right after my 25th birthday. He is the love of my life. Thirty years and two children later. He is still the love you my life, and I’m so thankful I didn’t have any baggage of past relationships. It was worth the wait!🥰 The old saying is still true today, All things good come to those who wait!❤️😊

i feel the same way and have a similar experience! i’m 21F, never dated (as in relationship) or kissed anyone. don’t really have crushes that much either and am not hugely interested in dating. i’m also pretty specific in what i look for in a partner but i don’t really get to know guys well enough to identify that in them (i tend to just usually be friends with other girls, not intentionally but that’s usually how it is). but i decided that next year i’m going to try to put myself out there a bit more so i can learn what i like and value in dating and also help get over my social anxiety. if you want to date, it doesn’t hurt to do so as long as you’re being safe. doesn’t need to be your soulmate or the person you end up with forever, you can still have a good experience with others without it being end game.

What are those values and standards you have? Just genuinely curious

I'm 22 (M) and I never been in a relationship either simply because I'm to busy with my career but love will find you in your own time I do personally believe there someone thinking about someone and always be yourself don't ever change for anybody, somebody out there loves or will love you for who you are :)

I wasn't busy chasing guys either when my friends were completely boy-crazy. I'm like you, looks are very secondary to me. You might be demisexual which is why you're not hot for someone at first glance. You need to get to know them first and form an emotional bond before your sex drive kicks in. We date much less, true, but we have a better chance at finding that right person for us.

If you feel like it: so be it.

And also feel free to change your mind later on. Whatever you chose, it will be good.

Just be happy.

It's okay, trust me. Feel hugged.

I was single the entire decade of my 20s. I had zero attraction towards anyone during this time and was worried I'd never find someone who peaked my interest. Then one drunken night when I was 30 my now husband just sat down next to me at a bar. Been 16 years and still going strong!

Sounds like you know what you want so DO NOT SETTLE! I am grateful I didn't get my heart smashed up during my 20's. Remember, your frontal lobe is still developing and so is everyone else's around you your age and the lack of impulse control because of that can lead to some very messy situations.

You are SO YOUNG and will find your person!🤎💙

Don't put a timeline on your relationship/ dating life, it shouldn't be normalize, the same way you said that people have normalized things that you dislike. Dating is hard and part of it can also be how people are feeling pressured to find 'love' in the wrong ways and places, but at the same time there is nothing wrong with having your standards. Keep them and it'll come to you. Don't lower them just because you feel left out.

Why this pessimism? I'm in my thirties and still single. I've never had a girlfriend before, and I'm still looking for the personality traits and intellectual qualities I want in my future wife.

The right moment will come for everyone to fall in love.

Date. Just do it to meet people, not to immediately find Prince Charming or something. Get to know yourself, what you like in a person. It takes time. Then you’re a lot more ready.

Just reconsider WHERE you are looking to find the characteristics you'd like a guy to have

It’s ok if you want to date then don’t give up but if you don’t like dating then don’t force yourself to

Completely normal. I’m 22M and I also haven’t as I want someone based on who they are. Not many wait for the right person, keep holding strong to who you are

I mean standard is like a check list, just dont list too much

First time I found a serious relationship was when I was 25. My friends said I was picky, I felt that values were very important to me too. Maybe I had dated a lot when I was younger, they were good looking but unkind, that I started to looking for something inwards.

Long story short, I did find someone, but not even because I was looking for it. I was just having fun in life, doing the things I love to do, meeting new people. Just doing life. And then, poof! She showed up.

You'll eventually find someone. You just have to not find the person, but live life. The person will eventually turn up. All that is left for you to do then, is to have the courage and say hi.

For as long as you continuously put yourself out there with the intention to live life, you will find someone.

Love isn’t planned It just happens

This happens to us all. We want to find OUR own person. I’m sure you will too

sounds like you're depressed and some of your ideas might not be yours. Get back on your feet, and once you feel better think if you're just "closing yourself to legit chances" for being so tough with standards.

There's no Perfect human existence in the world, if u find them don't leave them at any cost, U r young idk whr u live but u said u have some expectations, what are they?

Trust, many, many people around 22 do not have "many exes and years of relationship" -- you're not weird

I understand and see where you’re coming from perfectly! I’m the same way at 31, I have celebrity crushes but now a very slim select few. I’ve noticed and realized I have a type and sadly my type is very rare nowadays, I blame my old HS crush for he was the blueprint lol. We had so much in common and liked the same music etc, I may or may not find that in anyone and that’s okay.

I realized it’s okay to be single, I’d rather be single, get to do what I want, go where I want than be miserable with someone.❤️

That's a good plan. Start buying cats. By the time you turn 40, you will be known as the cat lady