Being gifted was fun until everything got harder, as well as your parents
expectations got higher. Then depression came, along with crippling anxiety and social anxiety.
There’s so many assumptions that is based off of that it’s almost impossible to take you seriously. First of all, not every gifted talented program is the same, second there is not one singular chance in hell they are accurately, testing IQ of first and second graders when they placed them into these gifted and talented programs. And third of all, there is an incredibly high correlation that many people have seen in their own lives between gifted and talented members and people who are among the lowest performing in their schools. You can believe whatever you want to believe I don’t really care, but the fact of the matter is that these gifted and talented programs were a complete scam, that caused far more harm than they did good. I assume you were in one of these programs and drank the koolaid while never having actually achieved anything because of them
Gifted programs and IQ have origins in eugenics. During the Space Race, the US Department of Defense funded gifted programs in public schools to nurture STEM talent for building rockets, missles, and other wespons for incinerating brown peoples rebelling against Western inperialism.
These programs were also economic triage for our underfunded schools, extracting a handfull of students, pushing them to certain burnout, while the rest to the left of the Bell Curve got scraps.
, while your dad may be led to believe that. The failures of the program go much higher than the teachers, they just do what they’re told and follow the curriculums and training they’re given. And are very likely believe what they are being told. There’s no reason your father would have to question the legitimacy of the gifted and talented program.
The problems with these programs stem, from the department of education and state agencies, which have completely and utterly failed in their duties to create an effective learning environment for American students over the last 50 years. And I think that is on display in such an indisputable way when you look at the idea of giving a standardized test to second graders and using it as an IQ benchmark, especially at that age your IQ varies extremely through throughout the day, the difference between a second grader that had cereal for breakfast or had eggs on that given day could be an entire standard deviation. One who went to sleep and got eight hours of rest versus one that went to sleep and got four hours of rest. Or even the idea that this second graders would take the test seriously in the first place.
Idk what argument ur trying to have. U seem to be very passionate about it for some reason and are lashing out at anyone within arms reach, so I'm just gonna end my participation here. Good luck with whatever.
Not exactly, but that's literally what they were testing for and the standard to be labeled gifted. Someone thought u might be clever so u do the shape puzzles and get a score. The gifted classes just moved thru the carriculum faster. Still learned the exact same stuff.
Mine wasn’t that way. In elementary school, we’d get on a bus as well as the other schools in the area once a week and got to G & T where the projects and such were completely different, we worked in groups a lot and it seemed much more creative and free thinking. Now Honors / AP classes to your point were more what you are saying but that didn’t necessarily over G & T but standardized test scores to place in those.
Sounds like my “gifted” friend who was in GATE and graduated early. We’ve been out of high school for 10 years now and all he has amounted to is becoming an alcoholic. He is still very stuck on all his high school achievements that mean nothing.
Being an adult is what you make of it. I love being an adult, I have built a great life. It certainly hasn't been easy, in fact incredibly hard at times, but I have agency now and the ability to forge my own path. I'm doing so with gusto!
So, here’s the thing. When you’re a kid you get praised for having potential. When you’re an adult, you’ve got to actually do things. No one cares about the potential anymore. None of us are owed a life of accomplishment. We have to go accomplish things.
The issue is that gifted kids succeed in school, which is a structured environment. Out in the real world, there's usually no defined pathway for career advancement (unless it's a very hierarchical institution like the military).
Being gifted creates a whole series of problems. People can't keep up or get things as quickly as you. That can create boredom and frustration. There is a bunch of research out there that can help you understand your life challenges better. Being gifted also often creates an response from people that makes life easier. When that happens you don't experience the challenges from life that cause you to change and grow in this crazy world of ours. Much of the fulfillment from life comes from overcoming reasonable obstacles. No obstacles to overcome. Less growth and fulfillment from taking on the challenges of your life. This is what I've got. Hope it helps.
Gifted in what? They say that we should put my daughter in that, I do t know any one that was apart of the “gifted” program ever do anything extraordinary, one became NYPD another works in the medical field and my cousin is a dumbass…
Yep, that's my experience too. This is one of those posts that make me think I'm in r/Neurodivergent, but then I read the replies and it's full of condescension and judgement. Yup, that's r/Adulting alright.
my 11 grade year one of my favorite teachers said I need do AP US/World history & AP gov politics because it would be good for a degree... I said hell no!
Her: "but you would get college credits!"...
Me: ok? Im poor i can't afford it anyway just like most of us kids here. and what would a degree in that do for me?
Her: "you could be teacher/professor!, or work on historical sites or museum curator!"
Me: i appreciate that you think i could do it but I don't plan on going into a mountain of debt for a degree that I might put good use.
I always liked, “you’ll figure it out, you’re smart.”
Sounds great in theory but having a mind that wanders and constant doubt, I mean if I’m supposed to be so smart, why am I struggling so much with things. Why am I behind most everyone else?
I know we all have our crap but obsessing over why things aren’t just going as “they should” leads to a lot of self-doubt and defeatism.
I took for granted being popular and attractive and I feel I did not develop certain social skills to make new friends at work because I always had to ignore hanging out with people because there were too many people inviting me to things
Now im the shy guy when I literally won “The Loudest” in one of the yearbooks.
In my school we did loads of practice tests for the 11+ exam. I quickly caught on how to do the tests and remembered questions. I regularly got the 140+ score. I couldn’t work out how to do anything else and turns out I wasn’t that gifted after all.
in general gifted as a term should be removed. it should just be advanced. advanced for your age in certain capacities. advanced people still need all the support they can get. being gifted sound like you should sort of be able to do everything which no one can.
Ig, I was never officially labeled as "gifted," but I was definitely way smarter than most of my peers during school, especially for math related stuff. Never had good social skills, though. For a few years, during middle school, I was even put in special needs school because I was probably too autistic for normal school. But, I got switched to normal school. Through high school, I was probably considered the smaertest kid in my class, though I only had like 1 friend.
I went to a good university, where I did well without having to put much effort into my classes. I wasn't the "smartest" anymore, but I was still considered smart. It wasn't great socially, though, but I had a few friends.
Then I got a high paying software engineering job in a city where I don't know anyone. Ig, a combination of my lack of social skills + demanding job has slowly burnt me out. Loneliness has been slowly killing me. I really have no one, and I guess I've turned to weed to cope with loneliness.
This year has been especially tough. I'm not proud, but I've been stoned for a good part of my free time, I don't feel smart anymore, and I don't have anyone near me.
I am still employed and making good money, but I am scared I may not be able to handle this anymore.
Talk to your doctor about getting screened for ADHD(Diagnosed at 40). I was diagnosed inattentive type, and after a month of meds I am adulting on a whole new level. Anxiety is all but gone, I finish projects, I start projects early, and the feeling of being overwhelmed yet doing nothing has completely disappeared.
Plastering the 'gifted' label on a young child is high crime. It is a cowardly sop to obnoxious helicopter parents. If a child is truly gifted, there is no better grit for him or her to sharpen their wits on than the tribulations of a regular life! The cream, as it was, will rise to the top. If not, it was just the beginning of the milk souring.
blaming your personal flaws as an adult on the fact that you were a special little boy is so childish. grow the fuck up and take some accountability. people are depressed because they’re awful to be around, including to themselves.
I don’t know where you are, but there are specific admission criteria here to be entered into the gifted programs. It’s not some general platitude used to motivate kids. Instead, it’s to keep gifted kids from getting bored.
So being "gifted" you didn't understand what it meant? I was "labeled" and took a hard pass on all those stupid programs that just meant more work. I knew what it meant and knew it was a colossal waste of time.
If you were actually smart then it wouldn't have seemed like more work. I coasted through honors and AP's, the fuck would I be doing in a regulars class with a bunch of morons destined for community college? With the difference in quality, regulars may as well have been special ed.
The classes were fun and stimulating, the work wasn't usually all that much, I liked all my teachers. I can only recall one class that was terrible as far as work load in sophomore year. I also played sports and partied a lot. I went to an Ivy and then a state law school to save money.
I feel this so much, my parents thought I was slow when I was a kid because I had bad grades, after a lot of tests it turns out I had 30% higher IQ than average but also had ADHD. In my teens my teachers and even the school principal always told me that I was gifted up to my graduation. After leaving high school everything went to shit, started to have insomnia, gained a lot of weight and depression.
You gotta figure it out. It ain’t easy living 140+
Your inner voice is incredibly convincing, but no less full of shit. Leverage your talents or impotently bemoan your challenges, these are your choices.
Being gifted was fun until everything got harder, as well as your parents expectations got higher. Then depression came, along with crippling anxiety and social anxiety.
👆
Did we get labeled gifted or did we get one too many complements from a teacher?
Got IQ tested in 2nd grade, my autistic ass cried multiple times before it was over.
"Real" burnt out gifted kids were actually special needs all along.
Relatable...
You were never gifted thats the thing.
Thats why its in quotations
Gifted references children with an IQ of 130 or higher.
There’s so many assumptions that is based off of that it’s almost impossible to take you seriously. First of all, not every gifted talented program is the same, second there is not one singular chance in hell they are accurately, testing IQ of first and second graders when they placed them into these gifted and talented programs. And third of all, there is an incredibly high correlation that many people have seen in their own lives between gifted and talented members and people who are among the lowest performing in their schools. You can believe whatever you want to believe I don’t really care, but the fact of the matter is that these gifted and talented programs were a complete scam, that caused far more harm than they did good. I assume you were in one of these programs and drank the koolaid while never having actually achieved anything because of them
Gifted programs and IQ have origins in eugenics. During the Space Race, the US Department of Defense funded gifted programs in public schools to nurture STEM talent for building rockets, missles, and other wespons for incinerating brown peoples rebelling against Western inperialism.
These programs were also economic triage for our underfunded schools, extracting a handfull of students, pushing them to certain burnout, while the rest to the left of the Bell Curve got scraps.
Wow. So my step dad was a teacher and headed the program, so I'm just referring to what he told me.
, while your dad may be led to believe that. The failures of the program go much higher than the teachers, they just do what they’re told and follow the curriculums and training they’re given. And are very likely believe what they are being told. There’s no reason your father would have to question the legitimacy of the gifted and talented program.
The problems with these programs stem, from the department of education and state agencies, which have completely and utterly failed in their duties to create an effective learning environment for American students over the last 50 years. And I think that is on display in such an indisputable way when you look at the idea of giving a standardized test to second graders and using it as an IQ benchmark, especially at that age your IQ varies extremely through throughout the day, the difference between a second grader that had cereal for breakfast or had eggs on that given day could be an entire standard deviation. One who went to sleep and got eight hours of rest versus one that went to sleep and got four hours of rest. Or even the idea that this second graders would take the test seriously in the first place.
Idk what argument ur trying to have. U seem to be very passionate about it for some reason and are lashing out at anyone within arms reach, so I'm just gonna end my participation here. Good luck with whatever.
Next time don’t participate
A high IQ just means you have the capacity to learn more than the average person.
Not exactly, but that's literally what they were testing for and the standard to be labeled gifted. Someone thought u might be clever so u do the shape puzzles and get a score. The gifted classes just moved thru the carriculum faster. Still learned the exact same stuff.
Mine wasn’t that way. In elementary school, we’d get on a bus as well as the other schools in the area once a week and got to G & T where the projects and such were completely different, we worked in groups a lot and it seemed much more creative and free thinking. Now Honors / AP classes to your point were more what you are saying but that didn’t necessarily over G & T but standardized test scores to place in those.
Sounds like u went to a magnet school. They did a lot of new age teaching kinda stuff.
Sounds like my “gifted” friend who was in GATE and graduated early. We’ve been out of high school for 10 years now and all he has amounted to is becoming an alcoholic. He is still very stuck on all his high school achievements that mean nothing.
Nowadays even being alive sucks
Being an adult is what you make of it. I love being an adult, I have built a great life. It certainly hasn't been easy, in fact incredibly hard at times, but I have agency now and the ability to forge my own path. I'm doing so with gusto!
Word
Being an adult does feel like that sometimes, but finding your own path makes the journey worthwhile.
What a great attitude, I love it!
I was doing this. Till I kept getting put down and gave up hope.
So, here’s the thing. When you’re a kid you get praised for having potential. When you’re an adult, you’ve got to actually do things. No one cares about the potential anymore. None of us are owed a life of accomplishment. We have to go accomplish things.
The issue is that gifted kids succeed in school, which is a structured environment. Out in the real world, there's usually no defined pathway for career advancement (unless it's a very hierarchical institution like the military).
I was told that I am slow, now I’m depressed and have social anxiety
What organization did this to you?
My school
Bummer when you can not trust your own school
why? seems like they were honest
I guess I assumed she went to catholic school
Why would you say that?
well you know better ,were they wrong ?
Being gifted creates a whole series of problems. People can't keep up or get things as quickly as you. That can create boredom and frustration. There is a bunch of research out there that can help you understand your life challenges better. Being gifted also often creates an response from people that makes life easier. When that happens you don't experience the challenges from life that cause you to change and grow in this crazy world of ours. Much of the fulfillment from life comes from overcoming reasonable obstacles. No obstacles to overcome. Less growth and fulfillment from taking on the challenges of your life. This is what I've got. Hope it helps.
Gifted kid burnout speedrun complete
Gifted in what? They say that we should put my daughter in that, I do t know any one that was apart of the “gifted” program ever do anything extraordinary, one became NYPD another works in the medical field and my cousin is a dumbass…
I feel seen
The gifted kid to burnout pipeline is too real. Peaked at age 7 apparently.
I was gifted and doing well. Life still sucks these days.
Yep, that's my experience too. This is one of those posts that make me think I'm in r/Neurodivergent, but then I read the replies and it's full of condescension and judgement. Yup, that's r/Adulting alright.
my 11 grade year one of my favorite teachers said I need do AP US/World history & AP gov politics because it would be good for a degree... I said hell no! Her: "but you would get college credits!"... Me: ok? Im poor i can't afford it anyway just like most of us kids here. and what would a degree in that do for me? Her: "you could be teacher/professor!, or work on historical sites or museum curator!" Me: i appreciate that you think i could do it but I don't plan on going into a mountain of debt for a degree that I might put good use.
I was more in the “talented” arena. But also same.
I think I was just flattered as a child
I always liked, “you’ll figure it out, you’re smart.”
Sounds great in theory but having a mind that wanders and constant doubt, I mean if I’m supposed to be so smart, why am I struggling so much with things. Why am I behind most everyone else?
I know we all have our crap but obsessing over why things aren’t just going as “they should” leads to a lot of self-doubt and defeatism.
First time I matched with the exact diagnoses :p (+clumsiness)
tracks... only now I have the iron man suit
I took for granted being popular and attractive and I feel I did not develop certain social skills to make new friends at work because I always had to ignore hanging out with people because there were too many people inviting me to things
Now im the shy guy when I literally won “The Loudest” in one of the yearbooks.
Adulting hits different when the expectations don’t match reality lol
Resentments are just expectations under construction.
Fkin True
The gift of special needs.. please return to sender
Too real
Mmmmm…
When things gets harder, you'll forget all that compliments.
more parents need to realize this !! please shut up about your "amazing" 5 year old !!! gonna be average AF like most people.
AcAdEmIcALLy TaLeNtEd What utter horse shit
Testing in Louisiana Circa 1978- 158 and you are dyslexic - We get more money putting you in the G&T program....
You don't hate life, you hate capitalism and the "meritocracy" system develop by capitalism
Turns out gifted meant gifted trauma and caffeine addiction
you were mislabeled "gifted," if that's how you feel.
Most of the biggest failures I know say they were gifted. It's almost like it's a thing anyone can claim about themselves.
Hits pretty hard!
In my school we did loads of practice tests for the 11+ exam. I quickly caught on how to do the tests and remembered questions. I regularly got the 140+ score. I couldn’t work out how to do anything else and turns out I wasn’t that gifted after all.
this is the reality lmao
Maybe ya’ll weren’t gifted
I was a gifted child until 16, i guess
You weren't gifted.
You were just surrounded by idiots.
in general gifted as a term should be removed. it should just be advanced. advanced for your age in certain capacities. advanced people still need all the support they can get. being gifted sound like you should sort of be able to do everything which no one can.
Your parents should not have told you that. It's just a label anyway and it's not the kid's job to bear it.Â
Ig, I was never officially labeled as "gifted," but I was definitely way smarter than most of my peers during school, especially for math related stuff. Never had good social skills, though. For a few years, during middle school, I was even put in special needs school because I was probably too autistic for normal school. But, I got switched to normal school. Through high school, I was probably considered the smaertest kid in my class, though I only had like 1 friend.
I went to a good university, where I did well without having to put much effort into my classes. I wasn't the "smartest" anymore, but I was still considered smart. It wasn't great socially, though, but I had a few friends.
Then I got a high paying software engineering job in a city where I don't know anyone. Ig, a combination of my lack of social skills + demanding job has slowly burnt me out. Loneliness has been slowly killing me. I really have no one, and I guess I've turned to weed to cope with loneliness.
This year has been especially tough. I'm not proud, but I've been stoned for a good part of my free time, I don't feel smart anymore, and I don't have anyone near me.
I am still employed and making good money, but I am scared I may not be able to handle this anymore.
Talk to your doctor about getting screened for ADHD(Diagnosed at 40). I was diagnosed inattentive type, and after a month of meds I am adulting on a whole new level. Anxiety is all but gone, I finish projects, I start projects early, and the feeling of being overwhelmed yet doing nothing has completely disappeared.
Plastering the 'gifted' label on a young child is high crime. It is a cowardly sop to obnoxious helicopter parents. If a child is truly gifted, there is no better grit for him or her to sharpen their wits on than the tribulations of a regular life! The cream, as it was, will rise to the top. If not, it was just the beginning of the milk souring.
Everyone thinks their child is gifted or special at that age
blaming your personal flaws as an adult on the fact that you were a special little boy is so childish. grow the fuck up and take some accountability. people are depressed because they’re awful to be around, including to themselves.
Yes the school system is amazingly ✨✨
And a functional alcoholic. 👍🏾
Blew my "gifted" load now I live in depression trying to chase the high
pssst... They told every kid they were gifted. It was to try and get you to do things. You weren't special.
I don’t know where you are, but there are specific admission criteria here to be entered into the gifted programs. It’s not some general platitude used to motivate kids. Instead, it’s to keep gifted kids from getting bored.
We are talking about labels, not programs. But don't worry, you were definitely gifted.
Gifted/Talented is a formal program in many states. Not just a label.
The picture above says "labeled"
Do you think kids in school have any awareness of what it actually means? It doesn’t matter to them.
All I knew was I had an extra bubble filled in under GT on my standardized tests. So, I was labeled too, sure, but it was formal program enrollment.
So being "gifted" you didn't understand what it meant? I was "labeled" and took a hard pass on all those stupid programs that just meant more work. I knew what it meant and knew it was a colossal waste of time.
If you were actually smart then it wouldn't have seemed like more work. I coasted through honors and AP's, the fuck would I be doing in a regulars class with a bunch of morons destined for community college? With the difference in quality, regulars may as well have been special ed.
Did you enjoy the classes? How many hours of homework did you do a night? How did it translate to quality of life, then and now?
The classes were fun and stimulating, the work wasn't usually all that much, I liked all my teachers. I can only recall one class that was terrible as far as work load in sophomore year. I also played sports and partied a lot. I went to an Ivy and then a state law school to save money.
Lol. They were trying to teach me French. I wanted to learn spanish.
More work is a good thing…
Not if you dont want to do it
Fair enough
Part of me believes that
I feel this so much, my parents thought I was slow when I was a kid because I had bad grades, after a lot of tests it turns out I had 30% higher IQ than average but also had ADHD. In my teens my teachers and even the school principal always told me that I was gifted up to my graduation. After leaving high school everything went to shit, started to have insomnia, gained a lot of weight and depression.
donbass
Well, that is basically adulting
You gotta figure it out. It ain’t easy living 140+
Your inner voice is incredibly convincing, but no less full of shit. Leverage your talents or impotently bemoan your challenges, these are your choices.
Man, must suck to be weak.