My fiancee, Susan, has a fourteen year old daughter named Jay. Jay made some accusations against me that were gross. And impossible. I proved it to the cops. The kid isn't bright.
Susan believed her and kicked me out of our apartment. The lease is in both our names. After dealing with the cops my lawyer got a restraining order against Jay. She wasn't allowed within 300 feet of me or my home.
Her dad lives two towns over and her grandparents live in Arizona. None of her friends that have fathers are allowed to have her over so she can't stay with them. She is currently staying with a friend of Susan's that is a single mother. Susan is begging me to drop the restraining order or she will have to move out.
I can afford the lease without her and right now I want her out. I know that as a mother she had to believe her kid but she didn't even think before kicking me out. I am done with her and her kid and I want them gone. If she has to move because of the restraining order that's all good in my books.
I'll give an example so you understand what I mean by impossible. Jay claimed that I did things during the week when Susan was at work. I also work during the week. I am working new construction at a secure site. That means I park at my company's office and I am bused to work along with my coworkers. The job site has insane levels of security. I cannot get an Uber or cab to pick me up there. In case of emergency the company has ambulances on site. And firetrucks. We are under constant surveillance. I think the only place without it is the bathrooms. No guarantee.
NTA
Jay's accusations forced you to interact with the police and I assume could have had significant consequences. I doubt you could have gotten a restraining order otherwise.
I can't see where you can afford to take the chance of living in the same house with her.
And based on his job description, he needs a high security level clearance and that accusation could have really screwed him financially as well
For real, sounds like he's working a shut down at a nuke plant or something equally important.
As a Union ironworker, that's a 12hr shift, 7 days a week, until the job is done OR with typical 28 days/mo rotation then 2 or 3 days off before back to 7 12's. If I were making my rate (unlikely dur to my area but hear the scenario out) at 66/hr for 8, then 1.5x 8-10, then 2x 11+, for 5 days, then 1.5x for 10 Saturday plus 2x 11+, then Sunday 2x all day... one week pre tax would sit me at $7,788.
Edit to add in the math a bit better, 118 hours worth of pay total x 66/hr.
If he's even being paid a fraction of that in wherever he's at at this secure site, he's definitely making that lease payment himself.
And he definitely needs to not have his clearance messed with. That kind of money is impossible to pass on.
He said new build, so possibly putting in the nuke plant, or some other government building. Which probably does pay less than anything that happens after they bring the radioactive stuff in.
NTA.
Keep that restraining order. Tell the ex she should use this time to look for another place to live.
I think this relationship needs to end.
It's over.
Since you CAN afford the rent get her out ASAP. She should be with her child, and even if the restraining order is dropped you're not together so she needs to move on.
If she's going to cause trouble and the police can't remove her, it might be easier for you to just move out and get a fresh start, even though that's not fair. She's already caused you more than enough shit.
Talk to your landlord, this may count as domestic violence and he may be able to remove her from the lease and or premise forcefully.
The other option is to just move back in. Your name is on the lease and short of DV or a restraining order from her side she can't kick you out. You don't have to talk to her and her kid won't be able to visit, just make it awkward and uncomfortable until she leaves. At this point you're still on the hook for the rent anyway even if you do move out permanently. I'd also cut off wifi and cable if they're in your name, who's paying the cell phone bill?
Apparently he moved back in and the STBX doesn’t want to move out. That’s why she wants him to remove the RO—so the kid can come back to live there. However, that is insane.
Yep, why should OP lose his home because of Exs daughter's actions. They go, not him.
Good luck nobody needs that in their life.
Good. My brother had a girlfriend's daughter pull this crap on him. At least he distanced himself. You are so much better off without this mess in your life
NTA. OP That sucks, but you had to defend yourself & she had to defend her daughter. She needs to go.
@ business_monkeys7: My brother did, too His wife had their 8yr old daughter lie to the judge. He went to prison for 10 years before his daughter recanted when she turned 18 & got away from her batshit crazy mom. His record was expunged. Come to find out, his son & daughter were not his kids. The mom got a stern slap on the wrist.
Fuck that shit. The wife should have spent the next 10 years in jail for stealing 10 years of your brothers life.
Why is Jay not allowed at her friend's houses that have fathers? Is it because of what happened with you and now they are like nope she ain't doing that to me? Or does she have a history of making up stories like this and wasn't allowed at their homes even before she lied on you?
Believe it or not it's the moms. They don't want her near their husbands or sons. Just in case.
I can believe that, false allegations hurt everyone including survivors. This girl deserves consequences.
Those women are smart. They know the have husband and sons who wouldn’t do anything, but they also don’t want this crap brought into their homes and destroy their family.
I get it a mom should believe her daughter, yet she should be smart enough to figure it out. I feel sorry for the next guy she dates or any guy down the road who dates the daughter.
What does your ex think about her daughter's lies now that she knows they're completely unfounded?
I’m curious about this, too.
Yes, I would do the same. This kind of lie is unvorgivable. You had luck you had proof that you were innocent but who knows what happens to her next victim.
NTA. One of you has to be removed from the lease. I'd do which ever is the easiest.
And why is she still talking like there's a future? She isnt clear obviously
Edit: I misread, I have low vision and it was a mistake sorry.
Firstly move out. You can't afford the lease without her so take your shit and get out, she can have the place and figure it out on her own. Trying to kick her out is actually petty drama that's going to drag this out and you don't need that bs. Get your shit together and get going. Ignore her and her kid and focus on your needs solely. Get back on your feet as you need to.
He said that he can afford the lease without her. 4th paragraph.
He said he CAN afford the apartment without her.
Did you read the post?
I did. I have low vision that causes text to have clouds, sometimes it makes words very hard to read and it was an accident. I fixed my post, thanks for letting me know my mistake 😊.
A lot of people skim through or don’t read the entire post (or so I have noticed), so I assumed. I’m sorry to hear about your vision! I am legally blind without my glasses, so I can sort of relate🤪
Haha yeah it's a new development, definitely not fun! Look after your health ❤️
She is the one who has to go.
bruh
NTA. Do not under any circumstances drop the restraining order. Your fiancée is financially responsible for her part of the lease whether she is living there or not. If she wants to break the lease then she can cover any expenses related to that.
NTA. Your now ex has to live with the consequences of her shithead daughter. Good to see you moving forward with your life
Her mom has to live with the fact that she built that.
Do not drop the restraining order. If you do, and someone finds out about the allegations, they will be questioning why you didn't fight to prove they were wrong. By dropping charges they may think you have something to hide. The relationship is done, get them out if there. This kid needs to learn consequences
It’s telling that Jay can’t be at her friend’s houses because they have fathers.
This is deeply disturbing, Jay needs therapy ASAP.
Talk to her mother about this, but yes, as the trust is gone OP you need to remove yourself from this relationship for your own peace of mind and safety.
NTA
NTA
Susan's daughter tried to destroy your life to end your relationship with her mother. She is an unsafe person for you. She is also a teen struggling with serious issues.
Susan needs to support her daughter's healing. That means living where she can do that. Not with you. It's sad and hurtful that the daughter's false accusations destroyed what you and Susan had together. Sad but true.
Supporting her daughters healing better include holding her fucking accountable for her actions.
I mean does she think you guys are still together after what her daughter pulled? Like she should just move out wtf why even bother asking you to remove the restraining order, your relationship is done with her and her daughter so why even bother.
That’s what baffles me. Even if it’s because it is a better apartment than what she can afford alone (the most likely explanation) what sort of crazy wants to live with her ex after something like this?
She threw you out despite being on the lease so she can’t complain. Turnabout is fair play. NTA
NTA
This happened to my father.. he wasn't so lucky to be under constant surveillance. It took 2 years for his innocence to be proven. The stepsister that accused is not only bipolar and has addiction issues, but also a history of not one, but TWO false accusations. Get the hell out of there, OP. You stand to gain nothing and lose everything the longer these people are in any way connected to you.
NTA but I'm curious... If you're on the lease, and currently not living there, or are you? Do you still pay for your share of the rent? Not that it matters, but it ,would definitely add in the entitlement your ex has.
'please don't stop me from using you for your money, and keep paying for the the housing of the teenager that tried to absolutely ruin your life'
Of course you shouldn't drop the RO. They don't hand those out with cereal. If you obtained it, it means you need it, and are entitled to it.
You had to deal with all the shit her daughter created for you. Time the mom deals with the shit her daughter created for her.
I got back into my place after five days.
Good! Stay put. And don't drop the RO. If you drop it, it will be hell to get it back.
I read it as he does live in his home and stepdaughter is not allowed near him nor the home.
Her mother stills lives there and wants the restraining order lifted so her dear lying daughter can come home again.
If he isn't living at home, he should move back in and just tell his soon-to-be-ex that it sucks to be her, but he's not lifting the restraining order, so if she wants to live with her kid she should move out.
He should NOT try to make a deal with the landlord. The mother can pay for her breaking the lease herself.
She kicked him out, though. That's what made me go 'oh??? .. the audacity!'
Like, I hope she's carrying the entire rent on her own, if she kicked him out. But I doubt it.
Sucks to be her, indeed.
NTA. She tried to destroy your life; compassion and consideration are off the table now. She and anybody connected to her has to go, expeditiously.
Given the implications of Jay's accusations, did this line jump out at anyone else?
NTA. If the implications are indeed what they sound like to me, that's the kind of accusation that destroys lives, regardless of truth.
It’s pretty obvious what he means.
OP responded to another comment saying that it’s the wives/mothers that don’t want Jay at their homes. Sounds like news about the false allegations spread around town pretty quick
NTA.
False accusations like this are scorched earth territory, protect yourself at all costs.
[deleted]
Accusations can still wreck lives, irrespective of the sentence handed out in that particular case. Trust is lost, reputations destroyed by people who are not always aware of all the facts, choosing to believe there is truth in an accusation when there isn't any.
NTA
"I know that as a mother she had to believe her kid but she didn't even think before kicking me out"
I only think you should not hold a grudge about your ex kicking you out at that moment bc anyone who cares about their child would do the same without much thought. She did what she thought was right in a moment of panic.
The problem is asking that you reconsider a restraining order after being proved that it was all a lie. The daughther would only learn to make a better lie next time bc there's been no real consequence for almost ruining your life
anyone who cares about their child would move out themselves, why stay in a place where (someone you think is) the abuser can claim access to?
I don't think the mom did anything wrong, either. IDK about throwing him out, but he definitely shouldn't have been near the home FOR HIS OWN GOOD. Her pushing the envelope changed nothing.
This isn't any better (actually, much worse!) Than if the daughter hated him and he just couldn't live with her. Relationships end all the time because the kid is a little shit or is fighting off competition for the dad that didn't want them.
The kid made the relationship impossible. 🤷🏾♂️
NTA at all and the fact that she isnt even allowed to go to anyone's house who lives with their dad tells me this is a pattern for her kid.... youre not worried about saving the relationship and she would have seen you go to jail rather than talk to you about the accusation and get your side so yeah keep the restraining order and she can leave. Thats in your best interest anyway if someone has falsely accused you to keep them away from you
It sounds more like the families of Jay’s friends are protecting themselves because they heard what she tried to do to OP. If there were a pattern of false accusations, OP would have mentioned it.
NTA
You did exactly the right thing and should keep this restraining order firmly in place. You should also stop calling this woman your fiance. I understand that she had to believe her daughter, but you need to end things with her TODAY and tell her she needs to find another place to live. Also, I hope you have already stopped sleeping in the same bed or having sex with her. If you haven't, you need to make her sleep in another room and immediately stop having sex with her. She needs to leave ASAP.
You're NTA . This kid is a moving, breathing, scheming malicious threat to your legal safety and future freedom . Use all legal methods available to you to keep this menace as far as way from you as possible . Your ex fiancee held no qualms about evicting you . And if you hadn't had an ironclade alibi she would've lovingly seen you jailed for a very long time . It's her responsibility to care for her daughter and deal with the isolation her daughter's false accusations has caused. If you can afford to buy her out of her share of the joint home do so she's going to need to rent or buy a new home .
It's a rental.
Easier then to payoff the last portion of the rent and change it to a single occupancy rental for you . Or for you to leave when the lease ends and move to somewhere else that doesn't have any links to either one of them . So you can start rebuilding your life .
NTA. The only other option is for you to leave and move and have your name taken off the lease and she can deal with it.
If you can't get your name taken off then don't drop the order and your ex can kick rocks. Decisions have consequences and whether it was a good or bad one in the moment, it doesn't mean she can avoid the consequences of throwing you under the bus immediately.
NTA. She needs consequences for lying because it’s the false accusations that make it difficult to impossible for real victims to get justice they deserve. Protect yourself, and your own peace. When she moves out make sure you can get the locks changed and maybe a camera put into place to continue to protect yourself just in case.
NTA
They betrayed you in the most disgusting and horrific way
Send them to the streets asap
If the ex doesn't leave immediately, get a restraining order against her as well as your safety and security of the person has been compromised by them both
Only if op reimburses 2/3 of the rent his ex paid.
Why should he reimburse rent she already paid? She was living there.
Because she paid rent for December?
Why in the sweet fuck would he do that?
Because she paid rent for the current month?
Ok… so you mean just for the current month? Slightly more sane then. Though I’d say if you want to do that then it should be minus any costs incurred by OP due to this nonsense.
So should OP's ex be forced to repay him the 1/4 of the rent he paid to compensate for the weekend she kicked him out?
The rent she has ALREADY paid was for the time she was there. She wouldn't pay future rent after being kicked out
Therefore, nothing to reimburse
Also he's going to have to get her removed from the lease.
When I pay rent to my leasing office, I pay at the beginning of the month FOR that month. Not the past month. He wants her to leave now almost halfway through the month. So if she paid rent at the beginning...she should get money back.
Don't blame you. Forget her begging. You are lucky because many times after an accusation the person is ruined. Also false accusations ruin it and make it difficult for real victims to be believed. I am glad they are being shunned. Tell ex to get out. That's her problem.
You mean EX-fiancée I suspect because you say “I am done with her and her kid”.
You can afford the lease without her, Jay (the kid) is not allowed to be there. So your EX should move out. Problem solved.
NTA .
This is one of the things that restraining orders are for. Since you can't be with Mom without the kid, and the kid has made this impossible.... bye Mom.
The kid built a trap SO good that neither her nor her mom can get out of it.
NTA. You can’t both stay in the house, both your names are on the lease and she’s the one with the abusive kid. She’s gotta go. Maybe the consequences will hit the kid when she and her mother have to pack up and she needs to go to a new school and losing all her friends. But reversing the restraining order would be nuts on your part. Jay is not a safe person for you. Good thing she’s not that bright.
Her mother did the right thing believing her kid but you did the right thing making sure that kid can’t come near you with some new accusations. There’s a possibility someone else hurt her and she falsely accused you- wouldn’t be the first time. But that’s her mom’s job to figure out. Jay could’ve ruined your life. They’ve gotta go.
NTA
Do what needs to be done to protect yourself.
It’s unfortunate, but your fiancé needs to find her own place.
Updateme!
NTA. You should be able to talk to your landlord. If they’re reasonable (tall order these days) something can be worked out. When I worked in that industry we made exceptions when legal issues came up.
Your ex needs to be mad at her daughter. She chose to do a very very horrible thing. False accusations hurt the accused and they hurt actual victims of assault.
NTA. Don't you dare drop that restraining order. Jay is dangerous and you were fortunate that you had such high level proof. Maybe this will be the wake-up call for your ex to deal with her unhinged daughter.
NTA. Next time her daughter might be smarter about it and you won't be able to prove your innocence. It would be a flat out stupid, unneccessary risk that could ruin the rest of your life. Susan's in a bad spot, but that's her daughter's fault, not yours, and there's nothing you can do to fix it that wouldn't be dangerous to your future. There's no assurance Susan can possibly provide that it won't happen again. This is her problem to solve.
NTA, but honestly? I know you can afford the rent, but I would move purely on the principle that I wouldn't want them to know my address any longer.
NTA.
Might as well look into taking her name off the lease or you’ll only have to stay in contact for when that time comes
NTA. End the relationship and let them move out.
"I am done with her and her kid and I want them gone." And who could blame you??!! A "Here's your hat, what's your hurry," moment is needed here.
She wants to fuck around? Then she can find out
I’m guessing you work at a nuclear plant? I worked at one for a few months a couple years back. Though I was allowed to drive on/off site. But yah the security was strict and they had their own fire/police on site. It was in a small town
Don’t play nice here. Go nuclear lol
I dont see why you need validation for this. The kid fucked up, And so did your ex. Just hold your head up high, build that energy plant. And carry on with your life
Susan says I am manipulating the legal system for a shady eviction
You literally aren't. You are giving her consequences, for false accusations perpetuated by her idiot child. Having a Restraining order to protect yourself, and your home is not manipulating any legal system. You are an intelligent person you obviously know its not manipulation.
You arent, youre protecting yourself. The one weaponsing the legal system aas your STBX's daughter. Good on you getting the restraining order.. and the fsct that shes not able to stay with any friends 3ho have fathers is telling in and of itself.
But Jay lying to the cops about who did it isn't manipulating the system?
NTA.. you’re actually holding her kid accountable something she should be doing, but it’s obvious her mother and father failed her in parenting somewhere along the way. Time for her to open her eyes and realize her kid is the problem not anybody else. And nobody else is gonna put up with her kids shit
NTA - go scorched earth
NTA get clear of them both.
NTA if you keep the restraining order ; NTA for breaking up with this woman.
Rule of thumb is to always believe the child, but this child knew she was lying and could have ruined your life. She ruined her mom's relationship... which may have been the goal. She might not have been thinking any further than that.
NTA.
While I am glad that your fiance took her daughter's accusations seriously enough to take immediate action, I wish she had taken YOU into consideration too once she found out that her daughter was a liar.
Alas, she is willing to take one person seriously here, but it's not you.
You owe her no loyalty or consideration at this point.
NTA. Glad you had proof.
NTA. It is unsafe for you to live in the same house as Jay. Your ex and Jay need to find another place to live.
Nta actions have consequences, and this is a consequence of both her daughters and her own choices, too bad, so sad.
Nta. Fu*k jay… i mean don’t do that, just get them out of your life
NTA
I would have done the exact same, except, if she can afford the apartment on her own, and is willing to take over the lease and we can take my name off, I’d seriously consider being the one that moves out so I can start fresh without her or the trouble child knowing where I live.
Seems like an easy excuse to get her to move on. You will never get it easier than this. Grab that brass ring or curse yourself for months for letting it slip through your fingers.
NTA
Yes, she has to believe her child. She should have gotten her child help. She needs to protect her child.
But she cannot expect you to ignore what her child did. You have to protect yourself and other future partners of the mother.
NTA
I was on a jury for a trial where an estranged father had been accused by his biological daughter. It was fascinating and I think we all felt bad for him. The first vote we took in deliberation was split along gender lines: all the men believed the daughter even without solid physical evidence, and all the women didn't believe her.
Two of the most interesting facts: - His ex's family was active in Bikers Against Child Abuse, and she had a BACA blanket on her bed. - By visiting his ex and daughter, he had violated parole in another state, where he had a son. He admitted to breaking parole and going back to jail so he could prove his innocence in this matter. Dude cried when he heard "Not Guilty."
It's important to investigate every instance, but false accusations happen and people will go to the mat to not admit to a lie.
Keep that restraining order.
Not over reacting. I am rarely of the "cut them off completely" mindset but if the daughter is making accusations of SA you need to cut them both out immediately. Man to man that shit can ruin your life so fast. Even if you prove yourself innocent after word gets out the damage is done.
She needs to concentrate on counseling for her daughter and self not a relationship.
Stand firm. You are doing the right thing.
NTA. Keep the restraining order.
Are you sure you even want to keep this place? You might consider moving to a new place so they don't even know where you are.
NTA
What was your ex’s reaction to you being innocent ?
Tell her the RO is staying as she tried to ruin your life with a lie and this is the consequence for that action. The relationship is over so if you (her) need to leave then so be it. I guess you could see if you could break the lease and leave. The daughter should have to go and live with her dad. 14 yrs old she knew what she was doing and good on her friends moms for not letting her around either. Another consequence of her actions. I am thinking the ex will need to leave the area to avoid this following the daughter lol
You need to bounce her. Just because your a parent does not mean you have to believe your kid. Especially if they are a lying pos. NTA
Why would you be the AH? I literally don’t understand the logic of your ex? I mean, sure, she f’ed up, but her kid is clearly in crisis that requires deep help. That’s entirely something you’re obviously uniquely disqualified from being able to help her with, but she really needs to get herself in her own place with her kid and sort out her daughter’s issues without putting anyone else at risk. You’re certainly lucky the kid was dumb, but most people live lives without a surveillance level security clocking their whereabouts. Everyone needs to be protected from whatever issue your fiancée needs to get her daughter help with. Distance is the first step obviously.
Its better to be in your seperate ways
NTA, bruh kick that fucking bitch out yesterday, what are you doing???
it's good that you are moving on and taking steps to protect yourself, your ex has to deal with the consequences of her actions together with er daughter
I am confused. Does Susan want to continue living in the apartment with her daughter while you live there also even though the two of you have broken up? Why?
NTA. Even if your fiance believed you and didn't kick you out, you shouldn't live with someone who accused you of doing something like that.
NAH. As someone who works in child welfare, the non-accused parent/guardian can and will get their child taken away if they are deemed to be “not protective”. If she did not kick you out, the investigating social worker probably would have reported that she failed to adequately protect her child. You’re not the asshole for feeling hurt over your ex’s actions but she’s also not the asshole for taking steps to avoid her child being detained. Personally, I would not drop the RO and I would break off the relationship. It sounds like something did happen to her kid (those kinda allegations don’t come out of nowhere) but I personally wouldn’t want to deal with the headache of false allegations again.
The relationship is done so dropping the restraining order or not makes zero difference. I feel pity for the mother coz that relationship is now soured for life. She will resent her daughter more and more with every passing year. NTA.
NTA. I would reframe what you are doing. Susan and her daughter made the choice. They need to learn consequences. It's better the consequences are just a restraining order and end of your relationship.
this relationship needs to end.
NTA you should definitely keep the restraining order in place and Susan should move so her daughter can live with her. They shouldn't get to turn your life upside down forcing you to move just because Jay decided to lie. Actions have consequences and Jay gets to face the consequences now. Unfortunately, so does Susan, but it's her kid so her problem.
NTA. It does make me wonder if the child was possibly coached??
N T A. The daughter sounds very dangerous and it's only going to take one (naive) person to believe her and run with it, next thing you know it's a witch hunt, Shit sticks.
(Imo) You'd be better off without the pair of them, and safeguard yourself and you're reputation.
Run don't Walk. Wishing you all the best.
NTA.
Get rid of this massive headache. Was there any punishment for Jay for the false accusation?
There never is. If OP hadn't had an airtight alibi, he'd be cooked.
NTA. Susan's daughter won't magically become less of a problem if you drop the restraining order. She clearly has big bad problems with men that have to be solved. Susan and her daughter have to move - the troubled girl is going to be drama all day every day so you can't even entertain the idea of dropping the restraining order. You didn't say anything about your deep and undying love of Susan, so get the ring back and tell her that you'll help her look for someplace to live. Let her know there will be no presents under the tree for her or her daughter so she doesn't think the relationship is good just because you're under the same roof. Make sure she knows you're just roommates now.
NTA. As a mother she had to believe her child. But the child lied. There isn’t any going back.
Sucks it has to end like that but you’ll be better off with them as far away from you as possible. Maybe offer to pay for a moving van/company to get all of Susan’s belongings out. She needs to have a serious talk with her daughter as that daughter basically ruined both of their lives and almost yours. Best of luck to you.
Nta you have to protect yourself too so I understand it and you aren't wrong for saying I can't and I won't accept those kinds of accusations, because if you hadn't been able to prove your innocence they have the potential to ruin your whole life and possibly your freedom, Susan has to accept that , it isn't your place to carry on the charade just so they are comfortable. They both need to go, it's over, and there is no going back in this type of situation where your liiberty, home, and job is on the line
NTA
How do you go about getting her off the lease? When is it up?
She isn't off yet. We are currently living together. Separate rooms. Lease is up in July.
Why doesn’t your STBX want to leave? Can’t she afford to live alone?
UpdateMe
OP needs to have a PRIVATE conversation with the landlord about the situation and lease removal. Only when his options have been established, decided, and dealt with should he speak to his soon-to-be ex.
If I were OP, I would move just so they wouldn't know my address.
It's always a really tragic situation when a kid gets caught up in serious legal trouble like that and the parents have to deal with the fallout. It is what it is. The trust is broken though, and you need to protect yourself and everyone move on with their lives, separately.
I do hope you find it in you to forgive your ex for siding with her daughter, it was really her only choice. Maybe someday finding forgiveness for the daughter too. Youth is very misguided, and theyre dealing with the consequences, and she'll harbor a lifetime of shame for it. But yeah, protect yourself and separate and move on and ghost.
[deleted]
Hard. Trying to, trust me. But I can't kick her out. Her name is on the lease too. And even if it wasn't it would take time to evict her. Now she will be gone fast.
Did she make those considerations for you?
That's fine. You need this over fast and don't owe her time.
Talk to the landlord and explain the situation. I'm sure they will let you out of the lease. Then go start over where they don't know where you live. By staying, you put yourself at risk of more bs because they both know where you are.
The landlord may only be willing to end the lease if the fiance can afford the rent on their own or is willing to move out also. They don't want her squatting in the unit if they can collect from OP.
I know I'm late to the party here, but this is crazy. Susan is pretty damned stupid for not thinking through how those accusations could not have happened. She's also stupid for not protecting her daughter by not dating until her daughter leaves the house. And I don't mean to protect her from you, I mean protect her from mom prioritizing A warm bed over the mental health of her daughter – – who obviously needs lots of therapy. Mom isn't teaching her what kind of hell is going to rain down on her for being a liar in her life. Mom's not protecting her at all.
No nta noone should have to deal with this
[ Removed by Reddit ]
UpdateMe
Updateme
Updateme!
NTA. You did what you had to do to protect yourself. There are consequences to her daughter’s actions and they need to face them.
Unnecessary stress to someone kid not u own .
So Susan wants you to drop the restraining order so her daughter can come home or she wants you to leave?
NTA, not even close. You would be stupid to drop the restraining order.
Sounds like the BMW plant in Greer lol. Thats how we used to get to work. Sorry totally irrelevant
I agree you're NTA.
I'm concerned re the 14 year old daughter - young people who make false accusations can turn out to have suffered s.a. in the past at someone else's hands. Even if this is not the case, her Mom still needs to get to the bottom of why she would falsely accuse someone.
You sound like a decent guy whos dodged a bullet with this. I realise you owe her nothing, but therapy for her would be a good idea.
His STBX can take care of thst for her own kid, OP doesntnowe them any more mental or emotional labour than what hes already provided.
NTA
Now that you've proved you couldn't possibly have done those things, and the cops believe you, your fiancee still doesn't?
Tell your fiancee you still want to marry her, but her daughter Jay is deeply troubled to have falsely accused you. It's possible it was for attention, but either way, she needs therapy yesterday!
Recommend she move out so Jay can live with her again and get her the help she clearly needs. Only after both of them acknowledge you didn't do what she's claiming you did can you tackle the question of whether or not it happened at all or she said it to gain attention.
It is understandable that she believed her daughter at first, but once the particulars of your story came out, she should have questioned Jay's side of the story. If Susan doesn't want to leave the apartment and remove her name from the lease,n tell her you'll file charges against Jay for filing a false police reportnand defamation of character.
Has Jay even tried to do this to her father? Uncle? A former bf of Susan's?
So you were at work 24/7? I’m confused.
It sounds like she accused him of doing something at specific times on specific days when the wife was at work... However he was able to prove he was also definitively at work, which is why there were no charges.
I feel like ‘Jay’ for a girl is the new AI for ‘Lily’.
It's fake if that helps.
This has to be ragebait and fake
Whenever its a male whose the victim., y'all always claim its rage bait. You should really unpack why you're so determined to invalidate a mans lived exoerience because it doesnt suit your toxic narrative.
Account is an hour old. First post ever, and OP didn’t commenting further.
However, not sure AI can come up with such a high security employment story, but maybe.
I work at an energy plant. Trust me it's high security.
Agreed, it’s so ridiculous.
You're NTA.
Though, im curious as it seems you've made your peace with what it means for Susan.
If the comments all said you are the AH, would you reconsider? Or did you just need to rant?
Updateme
Go mom for believing her kid.
Something tells me that you aren’t a reliable narrator, and you have painted this in a way that you come out on top.
You don’t need us to confirm anything, let the courts decide. If the courts grant the order then so be it. You said you cant afford the place, so why don’t you just leave and start working on downsizing?
Kid claimed I came home from work in the middle of the day to do what I did. While I was at a jobsite where I am under constant surveillance and must be taken back to my vehicle in a company bus. She didn't know the hoops I go through to get to work.
OP said they could afford it.
I saw what I wanted to see.
Thank you for the correction.
You did that for the whole post.
This comment is a perfect example of how the education system failed you. Your reading comprehension is so bad it’s not funny, it’s sad.
Courts did decide, they already granted the order. That’s why the kid can’t be in the apartment.
He said he CAN afford it without her and is happy this will force her out.
Please, for the love of god, improve your reading comprehension.
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You seem to be bad at that too. Successful trolls don’t get the information totally wrong, they get the information right but have an outrageous opinion on it to stir the pot.
You neither caused a problem, nor disrupted anything…just made me and others feel pity that you appear incapable of reading.
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You’re taking failing at trolling for a spin?
Jesus, low bar. Now I just feel bad for you again.
I’m taking being a placeholder in your mind for a spin.
You even have feelings for me now… 🤭
You are making a 14-year old homeless and separating her and her mother out of spite?
YTA
Neither is homeless. Susan works and can afford an apartment on her own. Just not this one.
If your mother has an apartment that you can not enter, you are homeless.
She has a father she can go accuse
Except it’s a mutual apartment. Offer her cash for keys otherwise she can also have you taken off the lease and live there without you. Why did you believe you are entitled to a mutual home?
Why should he have to move? He is the injured party.
....if she cannot afford this apartment, as OP has said, how could she have OP taken off the lease and live there without him?
OP has stated that HE can afford the apartment but his ex cannot. He is currently there with ex minus the little shit. Only little shit is out of the house.
Out of spite? Wt actual F?
He didnt do anything like that at all, he protected himself in his own home. His STBX could have very easily left with her daughter, she CHOSE to remain innthe home and send her daughter to live with friends.
14 years old is old enough to know right from wrong, and to know lying about this is definitely wrong. Mother is TA for CHOOSING to send her daughter away instead of moving out with her.
OP has done nothing wrong here. You're just doing the classic blame a man for a woman's actions.
Spite? The 14 year old could have ruined OP’s life.
Area 51
Nope. Energy plant.