I wasn't expecting to be back so soon but everything kind of resolved already so why not.
To clarify some things: - some people told me not to tell my fiance but I literally told him the same day because he was awake waiting for me to come home as he always does when I go out with friends. - my best friend was never my MOH that's my older sister, she was a bridesmaid tho - and people who told me to offer to reimburse for the two girls Uber... Why?
Anyway, I don't remember if I gave my ex best friend a fake name but let's call her Jenny or else I'll get confused. I sent a long text in the group chat explaining how disappointed and angry I was for their actions, that they could've jeopardize my wedding and my relationship with their little stunt, I also clarified I wasn't going to apologize for leaving a situation where I didn't feel safe nor good being there, I told them I didn't care if they apologize anymore because they were all uninvited from the wedding anyway and they clearly didn't care about me or what I wanted because the party was obviously for them and not me, I also after talking to my fiance decided to message the so of my friends to let them know what happened, my fiance said it was the right thing to do because who knows what they did with those strippers.
I turned off my phone after I sent both messenges ( to the group chat and the so of my friends) and went about my day, I turned on the next morning and found hundreds of messages from everyone, some apologizing others calling me dramatic and after a couple of hours just them cursing on me for telling their parents about it because all of them lied apparently. Jenny's husband called me too and then let a message to called him back as soon as I can and I did, he picked up almost immediately and he asked about details I explained everything I knew and he thanked me and told me he'd let the rest know. I found out after reading some of the messenges that the two girls that were supposed to ride with me were given a different version of what would happen at the bachelorette party. One of them said that Jenny told them that the stripper was supposed to be a comedian acting like a striper but it would be like the scene from the movie the proposed. I called her and she gave me more details about that and she said if she knew what they were planning she would've told me because as a married woman she didn't agreed with that too she said her and the other girl took an Uber home right away and she said she didn't even knew I left as well, I apologize for assuming she knew as well and she apologized for not saying anything before so I invited them back to the wedding.
With my fiance we decided to eliminate all the wedding party except for my MOH (my older sister) and his best man (his younger brother) and I told the two of my friends that they were invited again but only as guests and they accept it with no drama. Yesterday Jenny's husband called back and told me that he had some juicy gossip if I wanted to hear and and obviously said yes, apparently these strippers were not real strippers they were Jenny's youngest brother college roommates and they were only 19 and 21 and the brother didn't know about any of it until one of the roommates brag about Jenny giving him a bj, the husband said he doesn't know if he can stay and work things out with her after all these but they also have two small children and he doesn't want to break their family, I told him I understand and that me and my fiance would be there for him if he needs anything, he is also still invited to the wedding.
And I think that's it, it was kinda long sorry about that. My fiance and me are as good as always and the wedding is still scheduled for late January so everything's good, I blocked Jenny and the other ones and don't really care to ask for explanations or their side of the story. I also wanted to thank all of you because at the time I really started questioning my decision but at the end I safe my relationship and I lost dead weight.
Original post
Wow!!! Congratulations on your decision to leave and for honoring your husband and your marriage. Stay strong, and if you can, tell Jenny's husband that he will avoid much more pain and embarrassment by separating from her.
My fiance told him to come stay with us if he wanted but he said he'd deal with it as fast as he can and make a decision but I agree, it's never good for the kids to stay together 'just for the kids'
This is seriously so much better than the alternative reddit post (the usual one) ... "my Bachelorette party got out of hand and now my fiance is leaving me" because it is so hard for people to say No in those situations.
Yeah sounds like Jenny just wanted to have a night of "fun" and used OP's bachelorette party as an excuse to do this. For her it had nothing to do with celebrating op and was all about what she wanted.
So the girl sucked the stripper/roomates dick too? Damn she tried to ruin many relationships as possible in one night. Her marriage, her parenthood situation, your marriage/wedding, her friendship with you, and her brother’s relationship with his roommates and her. That’s quite the achievement.
Have you heard from her?
And she didn't even get sex. She gave him a bj. Sheesh. If that's what she wanted, she could've stood on a street corner and at least had an extra $20.
She didn’t want to give a random guy a BJ, she wanted to give it her brother‘s roommate who she knew and invited for exactly that purpose.
We don't really know the whole story because she hasn't confessed to anything yet, only what the 'stripper' said
Its probably not the first time shes done something like this, either.
You usually don't just decide 'yeah at my friends bachlorette party, im gonna suck the dick of my brothers roomates'
She tried to reach out from other numbers too but I blocked them too and I haven't received any more calls after
Still NTA Jenny did this to herself. Enjoy your upcoming nuptials.
Yikes.
Jenny sucks. Glad you uninvited her.
UpdateMe
literally
Was that a pun lol
You know it wasn’t meant to be but LOL
You're a good woman. You deserve good friends. These are not those.
You show great integrity. I hope your husband understands that.
He was never mad at me or anything about any of these he truly is a good man
I'm so very, sincerely, and unequivocally happy you two found each other. Now get a rescue kitten and round out the family ;)
That’s an insane downfall for your ex bff. That’s very unfortunate to lose a good friend, but all of this is her undoing. At least you got a good man who was completely understandable about the whole situation.
He is very loving and supportive I really am lucky to have him in my life ♥️
He's just as luck you have you!
Maybe ask Jenny’s husband to get paternity test for his kids
I don't think it's my place to say something like that but maybe if I tell my fiance he would
Why wouldnt you tell him??
Because that’s a really intense and distressing thing to say to a father when you have absolutely no evidence. She’s doing the right thing by sticking to the facts.
I think if he eventually does question the paternity of the children he has to do it on his own
YOU may not have evidence, but he doesn't either. The only way to get evidence is to have the test. It's up to him how he takes the results, good or bad. And you wouldn't be TAH to mention it.
Lol - you’re hilarious. Boundaries. He can make that decision on his own.
he's a grown fucking man, and if he can't put 2 and 2 together and figure out he should get the test that's on him
See, I told my friends I don’t want a stripper. I just want to drink, laugh and have fun with them.
They did that exactly. That is what real friends do.
You did the right thing.
You were honest with your partner.
You stood for yourself and your values.
I wish you a wonderful wedding and marriage.
100% Jenny did this all for the chance to hook up with a 19 year old.
My thoughts exactly.
Which for me is such a weirdo thing to do, why would you want to do that?
Gives me the creeps honestly. How premeditated this all was, just so a 30 year old could get with a teenager
LOL
She jenny literally used your bachellorette party as an excuse to cheat on her husband with a college dude
I mean, it's hard to imagine being that dumb...to think that was going to work out and not ruin her life
I know he likely doesn't want to divorce because he knows he will get financially wrecked even though he didn't do anything wrong (dumbass divorce laws)
But man oh man he needs to divorce that woman
Did Jenny suck him off before the strip (hence how she asked him) or was it on the night? I’m just really curious about the mental steps she went through to make the decisions she did.
Feel dead sorry for her husband, someone really needs to point out to him that since she goes away for work, the revelations in his life probably haven’t ended yet.
You’ve handled this like a boss. Weaker people would’ve sat there and seethed rather than just leaving. And getting in there with your story helped you realise who you could still trust or not. Plus the shit friends attacking you in the group chat showed everyone else the content of their character. This must hurt a lot more than you’re letting on but try and think of this as a big life spring clean before your big day.
Jenny really has left devastation in her wake and destroyed so many relationships in one fell swoop. What an arsehole.
I'm hurt but at the same time relieved. I feel like I was trying to hold onto our friendship just because of the history we had more than anything else.
And for what her husband told me it was in the middle of the performance and she asked them specifically if they would be okay with it before hiring them. We also assumed she wasn't the only one but I don't know all the details yet
I mean, there’s just so many things about everything that’s gone on here!
I’m mindful that it’s your post though and it’s about your hen do and your wedding. And no doubt you’re hurt. And confused. And the whole thing must still feel a bit surreal. Here’s something I hope helps - the chances are, especially after your reply here, that you and Jenny would’ve drifted apart after your wedding anyway. It’s a funny thing but it seems a lot of people drift apart from the person who stood with them at their wedding once everything is done. I know a lot of people that’s true for. If anything, you’ve just experienced this “great filter” before your wedding day rather than after. And in rather more dramatic fashion 🤣
Wtf was Jenny actually thinking? With what you’ve just told me, there was absolutely no way that all this was going to stay a secret. It’s almost like she wanted to be caught. The chances of one of party group saying something to her husband were pretty high. The chances of one of the “strippers” telling her brother were also pretty high. Just too many people knowing about it for it to stay secret. I dunno, she either wanted to be caught or she’s just really fucking stupid.
Also worth saying, my money on who else partook in the stripper fun is every person in the group chat who attacked you
Uhhh…who says…wanna hear some juicy gossip? My wife is giving BJs to her younger brother’s friends!!
I have literally been asked "wanna hear some juicy gossip" they wiggled their eyebrows and everything but it's now more "want some tea" or other variation regarding tea.
edit: i am not often disappointed in the wildness of the tea or gossip.
And that’s how they frame something awful happening directly to them? As “juicy gossip”?
unfortunately, occasionally yes. i tend to find that those folks are over sharers, love drama, or it's something their spouse did that makes me wonder if said spouse would appreciate it being shared.
i wonder if (assuming OP is being truthful) this has more to do with him spreading it as a form of revenge. that was the impression i got.
Wow. That’s so bizarre to me. To relay something like - my partner is cheating on me - to someone as “juicy gossip”.
one of them did it to share that her ex bf (whom she broke up with on the spot) had bragged about cheating on her.... with his mother of course. that admittedly was juicy and pretty sure she was sharing it because she wanted everyone to know he was a sick individual. i'd love to tell you she was the only person he bragged to. according to others he honestly thought he was some hot shit. i think the rest of us thought he was a sick shit
Good for you!! If my friends invited strippers to my bachelorette I would be PISSED.
You did a faithful and principled thing. My respects.
Wild story but you came out stronger. Blocking them and moving on is the healthiest play. No need to carry that chaos into married life.
I like to hear stories where someone’s relationship or marriage ended due to infidelity in these type of parties.
So Jenny had the hots for her younger brother's roommate and used your bachelorette party as an excuse up cheat on her husband with him? What a talk about selfish and trashy...
Strippers make me miserable. I have never and will never get the appeal of them. good for you for standing your ground. your former friend sucks (literally).
Updateme
I hate to break it to Jenny's husband but the home is already broken.
He should leave. Never stay for kids. Its been proven since the 90s staying for the kids fuck the kids over. Better to have 2 seperate homes..
Wow!! Congratulations on your decision to leave the party and also keep your fiance in a loop with what happened. There are three big things happening that make the whole world happy: the Christmas, New year and your marriage. Wishing you and your fiance all the best for your marriage happening in January.
Hope there are no more huddles before your marriage. All the best and wishing you a tonnes of happiness for your entire life.
I knew it was an excuse for one or some of them to cheat. I'm glad you and your fiance are good people. But F Jenny. Her husband should get to bang whoever he wants in front of her with no retribution for her. And, yeah, I know that's spiteful and vindictive but I have zero sympathy for people like her.
This is where i lost belief the story is real.
“Jenny's husband called back and told me that he had some juicy gossip if I wanted to hear and and obviously said yes”
Jenny’s husband calls to share juicy gossip about finding out his wife cheated on him.
I struggle to picture this type of convo, not that he wouldn’t share the info but I would be gutted if his shoes not going “hey friend, wanna here something juicy”
Yeah it sounds fake to me too
Updateme
Updateme
UpdateMe!
“I wanna ruin our friendship…Jenny!” 🎶🎵
Or in her case, her marriage.
Congratulations on your decision to leave
UpdateMe!
Jenny sounds classy. Hires her brother's roommates to strip at the party. Gives the one of them a bj and apparently didn't expect her brother to find out or spill the beans to her husband.
Since u didn’t get to see the strippers it’s only fair that your fiancé puts on a little show for you now lol
YTA for this one. strippers aren't uncommon thing for this sort of event and you didn't need to complicate things for your friends that didn't do anything wrong. except jenny who blew that random roommate dude. she had that coming.
also, i beseech you – please use periods more!
So? Common or not, everyone doesn't agree, and OP was specific she didn't want strippers.
If they didn't do anything wrong, why is letting the SOs know a problem? You can't have it both ways.
That's ironic, coming from someone that can't manage to capitalize words.
jesus. i never said she had to like stripper or was wrong to leave. calling significant others was the AH move here.
Strippers are a form of cheating, especially when the intent is to literally do sexual acts with them.
Well, it kinda sucks that you thought it was a good idea to let their SO's know. That's not your business.
Since they involved her it's also her business. If you don't want others to know about your business maybe don't involve them.
If definitely sicks that they did that after OP told them not to.
The hell it isn't. Either their partners wouldn't care, in which case telling them doesn't matter, or they wouldn't and those women shouldn't have done it.
Boundaries in a marriage aren't about "what can I get away with", they're about "what things am I willing to do without, because they bother my SO".
Of course it is her business. And never let cheaters get away with it.