For who were forever changing study courses/jobs and were later diagnosed with ADHD - did you finally find a path?
And more importantly, what was your process of finding something to stick to after diagnosis?
And also how long did it take for you to work up to a point when you feel you’re back on track with life?
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I was diagnosed mid 30’s (early 40’s now) and I’d say the path has gotten clearer but still full of hurdles. I struggle with the same things but now I have more of an idea on why and some things I can do to “try” and stay focused.
Taking walks, lots of water, sleep, music/podcast while working, and eating breakfast help. Also making sure I take time each day to just relax and recharge help. I can’t wait for the day when I can just work and get everything done but until then all I can do is try! Good luck with your journey!
I’m 3 years in a diagnosis at 35. Unmedicated. I’m not a success story my life derailed and I pretty much give up. I’m just out of gas.
I'm with you. Diagnosed 6 years ago and still haven't really figured it out. Life is a mess.
Refer to previous reply, don’t give up you’ve got this. Let this be the little boost you need.
Don’t give up. Have you tried meds? I was really against the idea but I read up a lot on them and now I’ve started, they’re making me see things much clearer. It’s like I look at a task, think “I’m gonna do that” and I just do it. It’s the weirdest feeling for something so basic to not feel like a struggle.
If you don’t want meds or can’t take them, there are other things you can do. -Making small habits to make life easier ie sleep routine The book tiny habits is great for this. - coaching or therapy - guided meditation specifically on self acceptance
I find the last one very helpful when I’m feeling low I can listen to a guided meditation on the free app insight timer and it will make me feel so much better. Loving and listening to yourself by Sarah blinding is a personal favourite. Just a reminder to show yourself some care.
I was diagnosed in May this year at 38 and I’ve just started medication 3 days ago and it’s absolutely blown my mind how effective it has been.
Wishing you all the success in the world sending you strength and energy on your journey.
Thanks for your kind words. I’m not a simple adhd case. So should give hope for OP. Certainly meds can work and help. But some people have comorbid meaning multiple issues at the same time.
I have comorbid things going on. They don’t know if the adhd was always there or the trauma created adhd early in life while brain was developing. To some on here they believe adhd is a biological trait and then diminish me that my adhd isn’t adhd enough since it’s not the norm. But we don’t know if mine is biological or caused by the environment at an early age. I personally believe late diagnosis people have multiple things going on that exacerbate symptoms. That’s my opinion only not fact.
Yes, I’ve tried and suffered some complications from meds. Mainly because they didn’t want to give me the stims. As you may know, the non stims sometimes have worse side effects. The docs are worried I will get worse from stim treatment and this reality scares me too. The docs play it too much by the book. So I have to run the course in this order 1. Wellbutrin 2. Guanfacine and 3. Stimulant.
Everyone else, mostly can get a stimulant first. But people with more complex issues they have to follow this formula. Problem is, on the way to figuring out what works has been rough on my body. The Wellbutrin gave me permanent ringing it’s like an ambulance going off 24/7 in my head. Unfortunately, makes the adhd seem like a minor nuisance in its presence. Which is why my opinion has changed if I even want further help. I am 50% less in function because as you can imagine focus is rough with sirens in your head. People talk and I don’t even know they are speaking. It’s not a focus thing. I just can’t hear them. But if I try to focus to hear sometimes I just can’t because takes too much mental effort to stiff through the noise. So I just go fuck it and tell them sorry my ears are ringing hard today I can’t hear you.
I was hoping the stim might calmn that since others explain a quiet silence after taking it. I’ll do anything to get rid of this sound. Again, comorbid issues maybe. Or just bad luck since it’s not meant to be permanent. But my psyche told me to hang in there and don’t quit the meds.. the sounds might leave. And no one advised me to stop. Again, because of trauma they were scared I would suicide I guess. Granted, if I was suicidal this ringing would be the thing lmao it takes immense mental effort to want to continue life with this siren.
The trauma, along with severe emotional dysregulation takes me to anger from 1-10 in a second. For minor things and sometimes not even sure what I’m mad about. So if I do go for help and if they don’t help me fairly quickly then I’ll blow up. I can’t seem to get past the first meeting. It’s trauma responses because my brain seems to think everything is life and death. Sometimes I think I should have been a boxer or something but I think anger would make me a worse fighter probably since the adhd makes me irrational.
This is the precise reason why I couldn’t graduate college because my brain wanted to yell expletives at professors and deans all day instead of just studying. It’s sad to be trapped in a mind that doesn’t want to listen so well. I came to school to learn not argue. Sadly, at my late age I eventually got doctor’s notes to explain my irrational behavior but it’s just too humiliating to live like that.
And even with the notes, professors want to be assholes back. No one wants to be the better person due to ego. And the school eventually still wants to expel me. Now, I don’t blame them a bit. I was dumb to try this school thing at my age again without fixing my issues.
That’s why I ran out of gas. I just don’t have it in me anymore to go on. I’m looking into living a simple life. I’ll probably be mad about that but it’s the best I got when I can’t even make it through psychiatrist appointments without firing them.
Weirdly I got from your messsge a real motivation to get back to martial arts. Been a massive outlet for me over the years but haven’t been in about a year. Maybe it would be good for you even just pad and bag work is a real good way to let out pent up aggression.
I’m sorry to hear you have so much going on. Hopefully the ringing will die down after a while and you can find something that helps.
Try to focus on the small things in life that are enjoyable. I’ve thought of the simple pleasure of looking at a sunset is something worth living for and I often watch them with that thought in mind. Like if I had no arms or legs couldn’t speak or hear and I could still look at the beauty of nature, I’d be able to have some enjoyment in life but after thinking that I can feel grateful that I have legs I can run on arms to hug loved ones ears (I’ll leave out as you prob wanna rip yours off 🤣) and I can speak to people and express myself. When I start on that train of thought and start feeling grateful it sends me into a better frame of mind and I realise I have a lot to give to this world. Giving up would be a sad waste.
Did you try medication?
I was never totally off track, but life just seemed way harder for me than others which lead to alot of job hopping and issues in relationships and drinking too much.
Diagnosed at 50, Im now 54.
Things are still a struggle, but I understand myself way better than I used too.
no. have been undiagnosed for 23 years crippled my life decisions enough, and 3 years of being medicated did not automatically solve my problems especially the fact that i graduated with a degree I didn’t like because i raw dogged school unmedicated and started a career in that field out of survival
I was diagnosed my first semester of college. School was always easy for me in high school and I was considered gifted so no one ever thought I could possibly have any sort of learning disability. Then when I got to college I literally couldn’t do it. Since I never had to study or work on assignments for over 10 minutes I’d never realized that I genuinely couldn’t do those things. I went to the psychiatrist and after two hours of questions he diagnosed me with ADD and prescribed me adderall. It’s been around a year since that time and I think I’ve got it pretty figured out. Still learning how to study but that’s just part of college I guess. Definitely easier though.
I spent 20 years, 10 of them after diagnosis, struggling in various IT roles. I got laid off from what I thought was a "safe" job in late 2019, and table-flipped. I decided to do something more meaningful and I became a therapist. Never been happier, and I'm finally starting to make money and I'm building a moderately successful caseload. Being very transparent about my own ADHD status seems to make it a lot easier for clients to trust me.
I’ve just started meds 3 days ago and it’s blown my mind. I’m going to have to come back to you on terms of success because I have lots of plans and am very optimistic for my future using meds as a tool along with many other tools and ways I’ve taught myself to help my symptoms.
Most importantly Sleep habits Diet habits (eating brain boosting foods) fish eggs green leafy veg nuts Morning routine Exercise routine
These habits have fallen apart every few months the last couple of years but I feel so much more effective when I’m using them. As soon as my first dose of meds kicked in, I picked my habits back up after feeling shit having fallen off for about 6 weeks in which time I had put on 6kg and was staying up playing video games sometimes all night. I’m so full of optimism right now and I want to come back to this and share a success story.
Yes, I did, and honestly, it was by accident.
Before I was diagnosed, I was talked into applying for relief disability assistant work in schools. I didn’t think I had the right experience and almost didn’t apply. Other people kept telling me I was a natural. I could read body language and non verbal cues easily, problem solve triggers quickly, and I had a lot of patience.
From there I eventually transitioned into disability support work in the home.
After my ADHD diagnosis, everything clicked. I realised I was supporting kids the way I wish I’d been supported at school. I could see problems early because I was looking at them through the lens of my own childhood and what I needed back then. That perspective turned out to be a strength, not a flaw.
As for the process, there wasn’t a neat plan. It was more about noticing what drained me versus what gave me energy, and leaning into work where my brain actually worked with me instead of against me. Diagnosis didn’t change who I was, it just helped me understand why certain things fit and others never did.
Am I perfectly on track now? Not really, and I don’t think that’s the right question anymore. Some things are still hard. Not everyone has patience with me. I don’t feel the need to explain my ADHD to people who don’t care. I just laugh it off and move on.
My house is still full of boxes waiting to be put together. I still have twenty jobs on the go at once. The difference now is I don’t beat myself up about it. I know I’ll get there in my own time.
For me, being back on track didn’t mean becoming organised or consistent in the way others expect. It meant finding work that made sense to my brain and learning to stop seeing myself as the problem.
Not for now but, is it really important to have a path? I really enjoy, love, to be amazed, curious by various topics and change the my life's purpose when needed